Kelly
This is our home!
Mac
It’s our home!
Kelly
This is out little cub on our lawn with a condom in her mouth. Oh, my God. I’m a mama bear.
Mac
Yes, you are.
Kelly
You know what? I’m gonna act all docile and then… (She roars)
Mac
My claws are out! I’m gonna **** get them!
Kelly
Mac
**** these **** guys! They don’t know who they are **** with. They think I’m just a regular dad and then you know what happens? Boom! Boom! Teddy’s dead! Pete’s dead! Scoonie’s dead! **** you!
Kelly
No, no.
Mac
I’ll **** kill them!
Kelly
No, no.
Mac
Boom!
Kelly
No. Yes!
Mac
I’m buying a **** gun!
Kelly
No, you’re not!
Mac
I’m not buying a gun! You’re right, it’s a bad idea.
Kelly
Bad call.
Mac
What about one of those small prostitute guns?
Kelly
No. You’re not buying a gun.
Mac
****!
Kelly
What can we do? That **** Dean. What woman is named “Dean”?
Mac
She’s not named “Dean.” That’s her job.
Kelly
What?
Mac
That’s what “dean” is here.
Kelly
No. Really?
Mac
Yeah. What did you think?
Kelly
I thought that was her name.
Mac
No.
Kelly
Oh, no.
Mac
What do they call in Australia?
Kelly
“Chancellor.”
Mac
No, she’s the chancellor.
Kelly
Oh, my God. I was so rude to her.
Mac
I don’t know what to do.
Kelly
What do we know?
Mac
What didn’t we have in college?
Kelly
I didn’t have any money.
Mac
I had no money either.
Kelly
We had no money. They’re broke. They don’t have any money.
Mac
We **** with their house. They can’t afford to fix it.
Kelly
Yes.
Mac
They have to move.
Kelly
Yeah, **** them!
Mac
**** them! We’re gonna **** **** them!
Kelly
**** them!
Mac
We are gonna **** them!
Kelly
**** them!
