[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon] [chuckling]
Your friends, Lupin.
[Inspector Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]
Pops, too? [laughs] Now things are getting wacky!
The fellow he's talking to is the ancient Chinese philosopher.
You mean a paranoid who believes he's...
[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]
Listen carefully. This is my collection from the past 10,000 years. The most brilliant minds from every field... Politics, Philosophy, Religion, Art... I have held in storage. They still exist, as we speak. Have you ever thought about the end of the world? Let me prophesize: the world will come to an end within the next few days. But only those chosen by me will continue to live... eternally. Only those who are beautiful and brilliant will be given eternal life.
[apparently deep in thought]
I see. So that's what it was... [chuckles, then laughs hysterically]
[still chuckling]
Oh, my. Your play is highly artistic. You beat me! First immortality, then the end of the world? You're awesome. Awesome!
Ahh. This lack of intelligence, the stubbornness... Don't you see, Fujiko? This man doesn't deserve eternal life.
[Fujiko is put off by Mamo's statement]
Fujiko, only you should live forever.
If Lupin and I are not together, no thanks.
Sure. I want eternal youth. But I don't want to live long and see an old and flabby Lupin.
[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]
Ah. Must be friends of yours, if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah, we've crossed paths a couple of times.
And what's more, there's somebody else...
[Detective Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]
Zenigata! [laughs] Well, he sure is persistent. I'll give him that.
The person he's talking to is Laozi, the ancient Chinese philosopher.
You mean a paranoid schizophrenic who thinks he's Laoz...
You mean a real nut... am I right?
[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]
I have populated my island with the most brilliant men and women in history. Geniuses from every field–politics, philosophy, religion, art. It has taken me 10,000 years to collect them all. Superior, every one! This thriving community will live on here even after the rest of the world has gone up in smoke, a development which I regrettably foresee happening in the next day or two. Only those fortunate few chosen by me for their brilliance, or their beauty, will survive the coming cataclysm and be assured of immortality.
[apparently deep in thought]
Brilliant. It's so simple... [chuckles, then laughs hysterically]
[still chuckling]
When it comes to wackos, you take the cake, Pee-Wee! A post-apocalyptic country club? Now I think I've heard everything!
Look at this man, Fujiko! This is the man you want to spend the rest of eternity with? This ignorant fool who laughs like a hyena at his own impending doom?
[Fujiko is put off by Mamo's statement] [annoyed]
Okay, there's no need to get personal.
I refuse to grant the gift of immortality to one so unworthy!
Well, if that's the way you want to be, you can just count me out, too!
What's the point of being forever young and lovely? It's no fun if I have to sit by and watch him getting old and shriveled up!
[Mamo shows Wolf and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon] [chuckling]
Your friends have foolishly followed you here.
And someone else is tracking them, apparently.
[Detective Zenigata, with a picture of Wolf, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]
Well, whaddya know! [laughs] The plot's thickening up very nicely!
He's cornered one of the greatest philosophers in the history of the world.
You mean some paranoid nut who thinks he is...
[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]
Try to listen carefully and see if your poor brain can grasp that I've gathered the most brilliant men in history; from the fields of art, religion, philosophy and politics here! Not as some sort of conjuring trick, but an actual fact! Another thought that might let your poor brain boggle is that nothing is permanent, and even the world will one day be a mere glitch in the memory of God, who made all living beings. That time is near! Within one or two weeks, the world will end not with a whimper... but with a bang. Only people who are beautiful or mentally superior will live beyond it – those I choose!
[apparently deep in thought]
Oh, boy... this poor brain's in pain. [chuckles, then laughs hysterically]
[still chuckling]
I gotta give you top marks for thinking up such a brilliant plotline! You get life forever, but nowhere left to live it in! Oh, yes, I like it!
You may think mockery is clever, but it merely makes you look like a blinkered imbecile! Well, Fujiko? Do you see how little he deserves the attention of a girl as beautiful and intelligent as you?
[Fujiko is put off by Mamo's statement]
He shall not live eternally as I intend that you shall.
I’m sorry, but if Wolf's not in the deal, I’m not interested.
Sure, I'd like a slice of eternal youth... but I wouldn't want to spend it watching him going bald and clutching a Zimmer frame!
[The gang escape on the electric boat Dan Dunn and Don Samurai had arrived in with an unconscious Lupin. Detective Scott gets into a rowboat thinking it's attached.]
I expected this might happen, so I'm well-prepared in advance! [a different rowboat is pulled along instead] Huh? Oh, what did I do? What a blunder! Well, there's nothing else to do... [as he starts rowing his boat manually, the bombs dropped by Gordon and Gissinger start falling around him] OH, NO!
[The gang escape on the electric boat Jigen and Goemon had arrived in with an unconscious Lupin. Zenigata gets into a rowboat thinking it's attached.]
I thought you simple-minded crooks might try something like this! I'm ready for ya! [a different rowboat is pulled along instead] Not again! Why me? What's a guy gotta do to get a break around here? [as he starts rowing his boat manually, the bombs dropped by Gordon and Gissinger start falling around him] Oh sh... [He panics and dives into the water. As shells fall around him, he clings to one, squealing like a little girl]
[The gang escape on the electric boat Jigen and Goemon had arrived in with an unconscious Lupin. Zenigata gets into a rowboat thinking it's attached.]
You guys think you're so smart, but this time I'm way ahead of ya! [a different rowboat is pulled along instead] Huh? What? How in the hell...?! I can't believe it! I'm not beat yet, ya hear? [as he starts rowing his boat manually, the bombs dropped by Gordon and Starky start falling around him] OH, NO! [He squeals and dives into the water. As shells fall around him, he clings to one, screaming like a little girl]
[The gang escape on the electric boat Jigen and Goemon had arrived in with an unconscious Wolf. Zenigata gets into a rowboat thinking it's attached.]
What they don't know is that I foresaw this and prepared things in advance! [a different rowboat is pulled along instead] Huh? [unintelligible] I don't care, I'll still get ya! Allons-y! [as he starts rowing his boat manually, the bombs dropped by Gordon and Gissinger start falling around him] AHH! NO!
[Wolf and his gang have returned to their hideout to find it destroyed]
So much for my hideout...
No food, guns or ammo. No nothin'!
Thanks, Jigen. I really hadn't noticed.
[kicking debris, grunting angrily]
Wolf. I'm just a little pissed off. And I'm telling you you've gotta forget Fujiko. She must've shown the strong arms boys and the mob this place, and they did the rest! It's time to make some painful choices; it's either Fujiko or me!
Wolf-san, a samurai warrior cannot work for a female. You accepted the commission to steal the Stone for her only because you like the look of her ass. The wise man has said, "Nice asses turn men into asses".
True – that sure was a wise guy.
Your degenerate mockery is getting dangerously irritating!
Goemon, you ain't gonna get anywhere, so give up like I have.
And do you dare to represent yourself as his friend? Willingness to amputate without ether is the test of friendship, and you have failed it!
God, you're such a boring schmuck!
[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]
The time has come for me to slice off your hat.
We shall see how little brain you have underneath it!
All right, kiddies, calm down! Yes, you're right! I did get carried away, but no more! It's strictly business from now on! I'll never think about Fujiko again! NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OR WE'LL STARVE!
Get out of here where, Wolf? Huh?
We're gonna head for the ocean!
But that means crossing Vallée Mort - Death Valley to you.
Don't worry! On my map, it's only an itsy bitsy desert.
[Wolf had just gotten out of the bathtub after his encounter with Fujiko goes supposedly awry]
Cor, what a sucker! What a real knockout that perfume was.
Serves you right for playing the macho man; simpler to have just given Fujiko the Stone.
Wolf, business and women are a pink and purple colour scheme.
God knows what that means. I only want to say, I planned it all this way and it's working. [puts on the headphones Jigen had given him as Jigen searches for the signal planted on the Wiseman Stone]
Ah, the man's an undead megabrain.
[Wolf scrapes the leftovers from the pan while Fujiko sleeps]
Hey, this is what I call real quality time, don't you? Yeah, of course you didn't give little Wolf the eye! OK, so I'm not Keanu Reeves, and I'm not some Latin gigolo in a smooth silk suit - I'm just your average thief, that's all! [He finishes the last of the food, throws down the pan and grabs a hatchet] Well, that big bad Wolf's got feelings. Let me in little piggy, or I'll blow your house in! [He slashes at Fujiko's bedroom door and breaks it down, then springs into her room, throws off cover and jumps straight out of his underwear, diving up and over in an arc at Fujiko] Here I come! [As he goes in for the landing, he finds himself getting woozy. He lands on the ground beside Fujiko, completely nude. Fujiko gently shakes him]
Wolf? Are you OK? [She realizes he's fast asleep and picks up the medicine bottle] The stuff I put in your food must've been stronger than I thought. [Wolf snores softly. Fujiko takes a transmitter out of her bra and turns it on] I'm doing all this for your own good, Wolfie baby.
[Wolf, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Fujiko] [gasps]
Wolfie?
[melodramatic]
The lovely Fujiko, unless I'm much mistaken?
Flattery will get you anything you want... not.
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit]
"Flattery"? How can you be so unfair, when the soft breezes of Paris have melted my icy heart? [smells the rose] I thought a little smooth dressing would set the tone for an evening of beauty that matches your own.
[sighing]
You quaint old-fashioned boy. However, I do get the message.
O, the beauty of this flower doth pale beside Fujiko.
O, there's pain in the prick of thy thorn, but that pain brings pleasure... onto my soul.
Wolf, this is getting boring. So do me a favor, and let's get down to business.
Huh! How can somebody have eyes [throws the rose away] burning with such deep passion, but be so cold to me?!
It isn't remotely difficult. Unless... you weren't asking me to marry you, were you?!
Don't be silly. But... see what I got?
[Fujiko’s eyes widen as Wolf presents her the Wiseman Stone]
Oh, you're a devil, can I hold it?
[Wolf yanks the Stone away from Fujiko]
Negative. Oh boy, one glimpse of that jackpot and I'm in demand suddenly! Typical, really typical! How shallow the world is. Do I get a word of appreciation for all that danger and the sacrifice I went through to get this? To all Hell! Or could it be that little Fujiko has got some deal going on which doesn't include yours truly, hmm? Did you forget that we had an agreement as well? ****, if you wanna call off our deal, well, that's fine!
