Most scenes together: Gaylord 'Greg' Focker & Pam Byrnes (28), Jack Byrnes & Pam Byrnes (26), Jack Byrnes & Gaylord 'Greg' Focker (22)
You are the most adorable, loving, sweetest man in the whole world, and I love you. And very soon my parents are gonna see that...and grow to love you too, okay?
Okay. Speaking of growing to love you--
Honey, it's late. Come on.
I know it's late. But Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away. [Knocking] And there it is.
Linda Oh, look, somebody had a visit from the hair fairy.
Oh, yes.
Nice 'do, nice 'do.
I'll do the intros. Greg, this is my sister, Debbie.
Hi. Nice to meet you. Oh, the bride to be. Congratulations.
And her fiance. Dr. Bob.
You can call me Bob... M.D.
These are his parents, Linda Banks.
Linda Hi. How are you?
Nice to meet you.
And the world-famous plastic surgeon, Dr. Larry.
Whoa, now, cut that out.
You know, Greg's in medicine, too, Larry.
Oh, really? What field?
Nursing.
No, really. What field?
Nursing.
I have a plane full of people telling me you threatened that stewardess.
I was not threatening her, I was just trying to get my bag in the overhead storage thing.
You were acting like a maniac and then you threaten her with a bomb.
No, I said I didn't have a bomb.
You said Bomb.
I said it's not like I had a bomb on an airplane.
You said bomb on an airplane.
What's wrong with saying bomb on an airplane?
You can't say bomb on an airplane.
Airport Security Hey, Norm, take 5. We've got a specialist.
Bye, Norm.
[Norm leaves and the guard motions Jack to come in, which Greg isn't happy about.]
We're supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
That's okay, honey. You know I can't resist a man in nurse's shoes.
Hello, Jack. Oh, look at that. Nice Jack. Hi. What's that, Jack? What? You're a big, bad C.I.A. man, huh? Did they teach you that [karate chops in front of the camera] in the C.I.A.? They teach you that? Oh, yeah. What's that, Jack? What? Yeah, you thought Puff was just the name of the boy's magical dragon? Uh-huh. Not too quick on the uptake, huh, Jack? Why don't you ask Denny who's puffin' the magic dragon? Not onto that one, huh? Surprising for a big C.I.A. pulse detector. Ooh. Hey, hey, check my pulse on this question, Jack. Do I think you're a psycho? Yes. What? Oh, you like my little gift? What? The Jerusalem what? What? I can't hear you. Jerusalem toodle-oo-poosey, poosley-loo? What? What? Oh, you don't know shit about flowers. What's that? You want me to what? You have another question? Sure. I got one question for you. It's can you deal with that!?
All right, now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what 13 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.
I'd better get upstairs...and pay a little visit to the shower fairy.
Jesus, Focker. It's just a game.
Sorry, folks. Had to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy.
Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.
