Narrator quotes from Matilda (1996)

Narrator

Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers or bakers or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making a Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [a nurse picks up the baby girl and shows her to a man, who grumbles and walks off] Most parents believe that their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Others take a less emotional approach.

What a waste of time.

And painful.

And expensive! $9.25 for a bar of soap?

Well, I had to take a shower, Harry.

$5,000?! I'm not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid? [puts the baby girl in the back of his car. Looking back at her, a boy named Michael Wormwood, Harry and Zinna's son, waves a toy, making her anxious. Harry jerks the car forward, causing the baby girl to slide. He hits the gas pedal, causing the baby girl to slide back] There's no way out.

Make a U-turn. [as Harry makes different turns in every direction, the baby girl looks dizzy] Harry!

All right.

Harry!

The Wormwood guy is back!

Narrator

Harry and Zinnia Wormwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house. But they were not really very nice people.

Get outta the street, ya little dodos!

Narrator

The Wormwoods were so wrapped up in their own silly lives that they barely noticed that they had a daughter. Had they paid attention to her at all they'd have realized she was a rather extraordinary child.

Oh, my gosh, Matilda, now look what you did!

Narrator

They named her Matilda.

You're supposed to eat the spinach. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! [picks her up and puts her in the sink] Babies. You're better off raising tomatoes!

Narrator

By the time she was 2 years old, Matilda had learned what most people learn in their early 30s: How to take care of herself. [Now 4 years old, Matilda gets dressed] As time went by, she developed a sense of style. Every morning, Matilda's older brother, Michael, went to school.

Bye, Mom!

Get outta here.

Narrator

Her father went to work, selling used cars for unfair prices.

Make money.

Narrator

And her mother took off to play Bingo.

Soup's on the stove. Heat it up if you get hungry.

Narrator

Matilda was left alone. That was how she liked it.
[As the background song "Send Me on My Way" by Rusted Root plays, she then turns to the can of soup and throws it away. Later, she cracks some eggs into a bowl, places some flour in and mixes them all together with a hand mixer. Next, she pours the mixture into pancake sizes on a pan on the stove. Once the sides of the pancakes are cooked, she flips them over. Later, she flips them out of the pan where they land on a plate. She lifts the plate up, places a flower in a small vase and begins to eat her nicely cooked pancakes whilst reading some magazines.]

Narrator

By the time she was four, Matilda had read every magazine in the house. [The scene changes to the living room where the family are watching TV, Matilda walks up to her father] One night she got up her courage and asked her father for something she desperately wanted.

A book? What do you want a book for?

To read.

To read? Why would you wanna read when you got the television set sittin’ right in front of ya? There's nothin’ you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.

Get out of the way!

Narrator

Matilda already knew that she was somewhat different from her family. She saw that whatever she needed in this world, she'd have to get herself.

Bye!

Ciao! [to Matilda] There's fish fingers in the microwave. [leaves]

Narrator

The next morning, after her parents left, Matilda set off in search of a book.

Where's are the children's books, please?

In that room right over there. Would you like me to pick you out one with lots of pictures in it?

No, thank you. I'm sure I can manage.

Narrator

From then on, every day, as soon as her mother went to bingo, Matilda walked the ten blocks to the library, and devoured one book after another. [She giggles upon reading, as Mrs. Phelps hears her whilst working. Matilda places some books on a table, before she puts them back.] When she finished all the children's books, she started wandering around in search of something else. Mrs. Phelps, who had been watching her with fascination for the past few weeks, offered Matilda some valuable library information.

You know, you can have your very own library card, and then you could take books home, and you wouldn't have to walk here every day. You can take home as many as you'd like.

That would be wonderful.

Narrator

So, Matilda's strong, young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world, like ships onto the sea. [As the 4-year-old Matilda walks in the park with her wagon, the shot fades to the 6-year-old Matilda still walking in the park.] These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message; you are not alone.

Any packages come today?

Mm-mm.

Where'd all this come from?

The library.

The library?! You've never set foot in the library, you're only four years old!

I'm six and a half.

You're four!

Six and a half.

If you were six and a half, you'd be in school already!

I want to be in school. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.

Get up! Get up! Get out here. Give me that book. [takes his daughter's book and throws it on the ground aside, briefly catching his son's attention. Harry takes his daughter to their bedroom where his wife is applying peroxide in her hair] Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?

Four.

I'm six and a half, Mommy.

Five, then.

I was six in August.

You're a liar.

I wanna go to school.

School! It's out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages? [applies his hair tonic into his hair] We can't leave valuable packages sitting on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid.

You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.

Hm. Tell me about it.

Hey, dipface! [throws some marshmallows at at Matilda, as she walks to her bedroom, ignoring his brother] Have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, dipface! Dipface!

Narrator

Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, someone like the kind, courageous people in her books. [she closes the book and gazes at the front cover where it shows the illustration of Ivanhoe] It occurred to her that, like talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb, such people might exist only in storybooks. But Matilda was about to discover that she could be her own friend, [the next scene shows Harry joyfully running to the house, laughing] that she had a kind of strength that she wasn't even aware of.

I'm great! I'm incredible! Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen.

Did we sell some cars today, honeydew?

Did we! [kisses his wife as his son grabs a notebook and a pencil]

Does that mean I can get that new TV?

Yeah! Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. And it's time that you've learned the family business. Sit down, and write this down.

All right. The first car that your brilliant father sold cost $320. I sold it for $1,158. The second one costs $512. I sold it for $2,269!

Wait, Dad, you're going too fast.

Just write. The third cost $68. I sold it for $999! And the fourth cost $1,100. I sold it for 7,839 big American boffos!

Harry! :[kisses her husband]

What's my profit for the day?

Could you repeat the last one-?

$10,265.

Check it if you don't believe me.

You're a little cheat, you saw the paper.

From all the way over here?

Are you being smart with me? [angrily approaches Matilda and points his finger at her] If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're gonna be punished.

Punished for being smart?

For being a smart aleck! [leans down to her level] When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson.

"Person"?

Get up! Get up! Go on! [pulls Matilda's ear, drags her to her room, and shuts the door]

Narrator

Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. He meant to say, "When a child is bad". Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.

Give me those things! Give me that! Where are you going with those? Give me those. Get in the car! [Harry grabs the car parts] Go on. [Michael and Matilda hop in the car] Get in.

Narrator

Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long. Especially when the FBI gets involved.

9:17, suspect exits domicile.

I've got 9:18.

9:17 is correct.

I will not be a figure of ridicule! I want respect and I want it now!

I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously you did.

I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk, the fibres fused to my hair!

Baby! Wait a minute. I'm getting it now. I'm getting it. One more. Oh, my God.

From now on, this family does exactly what I say, when exactly when I say it!

Here's your hat, Harry.

Give me that hat. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV.

Are you ready to get sticky with Mickey?

Shut your light off.

I'm just giving it away! For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home!

Hi, Dad.

Are you in this family? [Matilda does not answer] Hello? Are you in this family? [switches lamp off] Dinnertime is family time! What is this trash you're reading?

It's not trash, Dad, it's lovely. It's called "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.

Moby What?! [angrily grabs the book, and rips the pages] This is filth! Trash!

It's not mine, it's a library book!

Trash! [throws the book on the floor] I'm fed up with all this reading! You're a Wormwood, and it's time you started acting like one! Sit up and look at the TV! [grabs Matilda's head, forcing her to watch TV]

The producers are not liable for any skin irritation that may result from playing our game. Get real sticky and get cash for free. All right, that's enough. Let's get sticky!

I didn't do it.

Of course, you didn't do it, you little twit.

I told you that was a cheap set.

It's not a cheap set. It's a stolen set. Put your light on!

Bummer.

Narrator

Was it magic or coincidence? She didn't know. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Matilda might never have discovered her own great strength of mind were it not for the events that began on the very next day.

Narrator

Matilda had always wanted to go to school, because she loved to learn. She tried to imagine what her new school would be like.

Go ahead.

Narrator

She pictured a lovely building surrounded by trees, and flowers and swings. Well, there was a building… And children, so regardless of what Crunchem Hall looked like, she was happy to be there. After all, any school's better than no school at all, isn't it?

Hey, wait up!

Trunchbull

You, detention. You're too small. Grow up quicker. Heads up. Shoulders back. Stomachs in. Stand up straight.

Lavender

Hey!

Sorry.

Trunchbull

Detention for you.

Lavender

That's okay. It's much better than being out there.

Is that my teacher?

Trunchbull

Too pink!

Lavender

No. That's the principal, Miss Trunchbull.

You've gotta be kidding.

Lavender

Uh-uh.

Hortensia

You squirts better skedaddle. I'm not kidding. The Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who's trying to hide.

Trunchbull

Stomach in! Change those socks! Too pink!

I'm Matilda.

Lavender

Lavender. [she shakes hands with Matilda]

Hortensia

I'm Hortensia.

Hi.

She doesn't really hit children with that riding crop, does she?

Hortensia

No. It's mostly for scare. What she does is worse. Like yesterday, in the second grade, the Trunchbull makes a weekly visit to every classroom, to show the teachers a thing or two about handling kids. And Julius Rottwinkle ate two M&Ms during her lesson.

And she caught him?

Hortensia

Of course.

Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

Was Julius okay?

Hortensia

After being thrown out the window? Of course he wasn't okay. He lived, if that's what you mean.

Lavender

The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics: Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. The hammer throw was her specialty.

So she does this all the time?

Hortensia

Better than being put in "The Chokey".

The Chokey?

Hortensia

Yeah, the Chokey. [the camera zooms in on the Chokey as Hortensia explains] It's a tall, narrow hole in a wall behind a door. You have to stand in a drippy pipe with jagged edges, and the walls have broken glass with nails sticking out.

Trunchbull

Get inside, you festering ball of pus!

She puts kids in there?

Hortensia

I've been in there twice. Sometimes she leaves you in there all day.

Didn't you tell your parents?

Hortensia

They didn't believe me. I mean, would your parents believe it?

Trunchbull

Sixty lines after school: "I must obey Miss Trunchbull."

No.

Trunchbull

Out of my way!

Here she comes.

Trunchbull

Ah. Mmm... Fresh meat!

Trunchbull

Amanda Thripp.

Amanda

Yes, Miss Trunchbull?

Trunchbull

What are those? [referring to her pigtails]

Amanda

What's what, Miss Trunchbull?

Trunchbull

Hanging down by your ears.

Amanda

You mean my pigtails?

Trunchbull

Are you a pig, Amanda?

Amanda

No, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

Do I allow pigs in my school?

Amanda

My mommy thinks they're sweet.

Trunchbull

Your mommy... is a twit! You are chop those off before school tomorrow or I will...

Amanda

But, I don't...

Trunchbull

Come on! But! "But"? Did you say "but"?

Hortensia

Hammer throw.

What?

Lavender

Definitely.

Trunchbull

I'll give you "but"!

Good loft.

Excellent release.

Hortensia

Think she'll make the fence?

Gonna be a close one.

Trunchbull

Quiet! Get to class before I throw you all in the Chokey.

Lavender, what's my teacher like?

Trunchbull

Run, run, run! Faster. Get in. Quickly!

Narrator

But Matilda's teacher, Miss Honey, was one of those remarkable people who appreciates every single child for who he or she is.

Amanda

I scooped these up for you, Miss Honey.

Oh, how lovely. Thank you, Amanda. Okay, listen up, everybody. Have a new student with us today. This is Matilda Wormwood. I'd like you to sit here with Lavender. All right, could you get her workbook for her, please?

Lavender

Yes, Miss Honey.

Narrator

Miss Honey was a wonderful teacher, and a friend to everyone. But her life was not as simple and beautiful as it seemed. Miss Honey had a deep, dark secret. And though it caused her great pain, she didn't let it interfere with her teaching.

Well, Matilda. You've come on a very good day, because we're going to review everything we've learned so far. Now, it's all right if you don't know or understand any of this, because you're brand new, but if you do know an answer, just raise your hand. Okay, now we've been working on our two-times tables. Would anyone like to demonstrate? [all raise their hands] Okay. Let's do some together. Two times four is?

8.

Two times six is?

12.

Two times nine is?

18.

Excellent. You've been practicing. Pretty soon you'll be able to do any multiplication, whether it's two times 7?

14.

Very good. Or 13 times 379.

Four thousand, nine hundred, and twenty-seven.

I beg your pardon?

I think that's the answer. 13 times 379. Four nine two seven.

It is.

Lavender

Wow!

Matilda, you know how to multiply big numbers?

I read this book last year in mathematics at the library.

You like to read?

Oh, yes. I love to read.

What do you like to read?

Everything. But lately I've been reading Darles Chickens. [Corrects herself] I mean, Charles Dickens. I could read him every day.

So could I. All right, everyone. Take out your workbooks. Let's start with section three. I'll be back in a moment.

Narrator

With the FBI watching her father and the Trunchbull terrorizing her school, it was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends.

Lavender

A frog, a frog, a frog!

What is it, Lavender?

Lavender

A frog!

Lavender

It's a salamander.

Hortensia

It's a chameleon.

It's a newt. [reading from a book] "Any of the small semi-aquatic salamanders from the genus Triturus".

"Some are brightly colored and secrete irritating substances."

Trunchbull

How could you keep going, you useless, flaming CAR?! Wormwood! [screen pans to Lavender getting inside and Matilda opening her mouth surprised, looking at Trunchbull] Sell me a lemon?! You're heading for the chokey, young lady!

Chokey?

Trunchbull

Teach you a lesson!

What lesson?

Trunchbull

You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!

My father?

Trunchbull

The guy with the stupid haircut!

I'm nothing like my father.

Trunchbull

You're the spitting image. The apple never rots far from the tree!

Lavender

Miss Honey!!!!!

Miss Trunchbull teaches our class today, Lavender. Please get a water pitcher.

Lavender

But, Miss Honey!!!!

Shh! No, quickly. She'll be here any second. Come on. Oh, make sure the water's cold, Lavender. [Lavender pours the glass with the newt into the pitcher]

Vinny, cover the fish. Put away the art projects. Put away anything colorful. Oh Charley, won't you get those crayons for me?

Narrator

Most great ideas come from hard work and careful planning. Of course, once in a while, they just jump out at you.

Rayna. Rayna. Cover the birds and the beetles. Hurry! Hurry! I hear her coming! Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly.

Trunchbull

Don't breathe at all.

Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.

Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

SIT!!!! [hits rod against her hand again] Shoo. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects.

Where's Matilda?

Trunchbull

They should be got rid of as early as possible. Fsht! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all. [laughs]

Trunchbull

Do you agree, Miss Honey?

Trunchbull

Now. You, front of the class!

Are you okay?

Trunchbull

Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!

Yes, Miss Trunchbull!

Trunchbull

Miss Honey, this might be the most interesting thing you've ever done! [Miss Trunchbull drops the boy] Sit down, you squirming worm of vomit!

Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

Get up!! Can you spell?

Amanda

Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".

Trunchbull

You couldn't spell 'difficulty' if your life depended on it.

Amanda

She taught us with a poem.

Trunchbull

A poem. How sweet. What poem would that be?

Mrs. D. Mrs. I. Mrs. F - F - I. Mrs. C. Mrs. U. Mrs. L - T - Y.

Trunchbull

Why are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry! I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. What's funny? Come on. Spit it out. Speak up. I like a joke as well as the next fat person.

Trunchbull

It's a snake! It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who? Oh, Matilda. I knew it.

I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.

Trunchbull

What did you say?

It's a newt, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

Stand up, you villainous sack of goat slime! You did this!

No, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?

I didn't do it.

Trunchbull

You didn't like the chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.

For what, Miss Trunchbull?

Trunchbull

For this newt, you pissworm!

I'm telling you, I didn't do it!

Trunchbull

Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right, and you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization. Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am God!

Trunchbull

You!

I didn't move!

Trunchbull

You did this!

How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here?

Trunchbull

I'll be watching you. Each and every one of you. When you turn the corner. When you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats. When you skip merrily to lunch. I'll be watching you. All of you, and especially you!

Lavender

Thanks for not telling.

Best friends don't tell. She can really dance.

So, he came home with 2,000 dollars cash, and he threw it up in the air, and we both swam in it like we were both on the "Million Dollar Sticky". Do you like that show?

I love that show.

That was the old days. Now we've got money in banks all over this planet, and does he give me a dime?

Matilda, this is Bob and Bill.

They're cops.

They're not cops, they're Ace powerboat salesmen.

Baby-cakes, I'm starved.

Hi, Harry.

Who are you? What is this, a hot tub party? Get the hell out of here! I slave all day, I come home, you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders!

They're cops, dad.

You interested in timeshare?

Get out of here.

You don't let me talk to people! I live in a cage, Harry! I need to talk to somebody besides those stupid kids!

Oh, yeah?! Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wade through a convention of male strippers!

Dad!

What do you want?

Yell at me, okay?

Shut up and leave us alone!

Yell at me again!

Yell at you? I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! What do I have to do to gain respect around here?! I'm gonna give you a tanning like you've never had in your life! My word is my law! You understand?! Law! [Matilda magically closes the door]

Narrator

No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice.

You're a little cheat. (…You're a Wormwood. It's time you started acting like one! …) What are you, stupid?!? I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm big, you're little.

Trunchbull

The apple never rots far from the tree.

I think there's something wrong with that girl.

I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Hey, dip face, here's your book. [Throws book at Matilda]

You're a Wormwood! It's time you started acting like one! (Time you started acting like one!)

That was my personal favorite played especially for all you little bitty pretty ones moving and grooving on this sunny afternoon. Playing music to make you smile, so you'd better not touch that!

Shouldn't we have a search warrant to do this?

Nah! This guy's dirty. Once we show this tape in court, Wormwood's goose is cooked. I'm sure that box is full of stolen car parts. [Matilda is using her powers to move the box as Bob moves the ladder to try and get the box]

You've been taping all week. How about letting me handle that camera for awhile?

Do you know how to use it? Do you know about the zoom and the white balance? Do you know how to adjust the eyepiece?

I can handle it. Besides, it's my turn.

Yeah. Your turn to drop it.

I won't drop it. Come on.

You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon.

It's the female minor.

Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady?

I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or go to federal prison.

It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll end up? In a federal orphanage. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage, the kind with food, teeny-weeny cockroaches. What do you say? [car starts rolling down the hill]

There's another crime in the making. Your car is about to run a stop sign. [She uses her powers to make the car roll down the hill. The agents run after the car as she removes the tape from the camera and throws it in the kitchen garbage]

Narrator

So she bought a little time for her dad to come to his senses. But now, Matilda had bigger fish to fry, much bigger.

Hey, dip-face, where you are going?

Out.

Hey, dip-face, have a carrot.

Chew your food! You're an animal!

Narrator

Having power isn't nearly as important as what you choose to do with it. And what Matilda had in mind was nothing short of heroic.

Come on! Come on, Liccy doll. Come, Liccy. Come on! Come on! Come on! Please come here. [She then uses her powers to torture the Trunch]

Trunchbull

Leave me alone!

Trunchbull

Magnus! [She notices the Magnus picture frame that is levitating down from the second floor and replaced it itself where the Olympics picture frame was hanged before. She stares at the picture frame which causes her to surprise then the clock starts to chime.]

Miss Honey! Miss Honey! You'll never believe what I got you.

Oh, Matilda. Matilda.

Oh. I also brought you this. I ate mine last night. [Gives Miss Honey her chocolate]

Trunchbull

I will be teaching your class today.

Narrator

In the time it took Miss Honey to get very, very nervous, Matilda had formulated a plan.

She is really raving mad.

What is it your father used to call you? Hummingbird?

Bumblebee. I'm sure she knows the doll's missing.

And he called her Trunchbull?

No. I suppose he called her Agatha. Yeah.

And she called him Magnus? Right?

Yeah. Yes. …Maybe I could go back to the house and put the doll back while she's still at school. Oh, no. I can't do that.

Calm down, Miss Honey. Really. It's going to be okay. I promise.

Sweetheart, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house again.

I didn't. I was on the garage roof. I did it with my powers.

Okay. On the garage roof With your powers. I need to think. Let's see. Powers? [Matilda is making the water pitcher levitate; Miss honey keeps pushing it down]

Mm. Hmm. I think I've got them down. Watch this. [She makes it levitate once more as Miss Honey swipes her hand under it] No more Miss Nice Girl!

Trunchbull

Get inside! Inside! Quickly, run! Run! Run! Get against the wall! Against that wall. Quickly! Don't make me wait. Water! And hold the newt. Join the ranks! Move! I am here to teach you all a lesson! Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. These things are a test of character, …and I have character! …Form a line across the room, quickly! Run! Run! Run! Don't keep me wait-ing! Fill this gap! I expect you're wondering what I'm talking about, hmm? Yes. A child came to my house. I don't know how. I don't know when. I don't know why. [Holding Matilda’s red hair ribbon]

Miss Trunchbull, may I…

Trunchbull

No, you may not. But I know a child came. So, did you know it was illegal to enter someone's home without their permission?

Yes, Miss Trunchbull.

Sir.

Trunchbull

Stand up straight! Stomach in! Shoulders back!

Trunchbull

Do any of you recognize... this? Let's play a little game, shall we? Who was wearing a pretty red hair ribbon yesterday [tauntingly holding it in front of Matilda] and isn't wearing one today? Can you answer me that? Who does this disgusting ribbon belong to?!!? [Throwing it on the ground and spitting on it] I shall personally see to it, that the demented, slime-breathed, little Lilliputian who owns this DISGUSTING ribbon… will never see the light of day again! YOU!!!! [pointing at Matilda]

Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I--

Trunchbull

I broke your arm once before. I can do it again, Jenny.

I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.

Trunchbull

Shut your holes! You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you.

Look! [A piece of chalk levitates, as Trunchbull turns around and sees the blinds opening and closing] The chalk! And the blinds!

A G A T H A. [Trunchbull watches in horror as the chalk writes] THIS IS MAGNUS. GIVE MY LITTLE BUMBLEBEE BACK HER HOUSE AND HER MONEY.

Trunchbull

Money!?

THEN GET OUT OF TOWN. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL GET YOU. I WILL GET YOU LIKE YOU GOT ME. THAT IS A PROMISE. [Matilda is using her powers to hit the Trunch with the erasers, after a while of being attacked by the erasers, The Trunchbull faints, Matilda opens the blinds with her powers, the students look at Miss Trunchbull’s unconscious body, however, unbeknownst to them, The Trunch opens one eye at the camera, and quickly turns her head towards the other students, scaring them in the process]

Trunchbull

Aaaahhh!

Aaaahhhhhhh!

Aaaahhhhhhhh!

No, no, no. No. No. Miss Trunchbull. Please don't throw him.

Aaaahhhhhh! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Woo woo woo! Woo-Hoo! Woo! Woo-Hoo-Hoo! Woo!
[Trunchbull tries to run from the boy, but the boy pushes her on to the globe, Miss Honey silently tells Matilda to spin the globe, which she obeys, Trunchbull spins around in circles until she flies off and falls on to the floor] [the Trunch is disoriented from Matilda spinning her on the globe and gets back up feeling all dizzy, when the Trunch regains consciousness, she notices Lavender, and charges toward like an angry bull, until Matilda lifts her up as the Trunch crashes through the door and lands on the floor of the hallway, Matilda then uses her powers to summon the student’s lunchboxes to have the students pelt the Trunch with their food]

Amanda

Woah!

Hortensia

It's the Trunch!

Wow!

Hortensia

Hey, you guys, look at this!

Yes!

Let go.

Lavender

Wooooooow. Cool. I didn't know I could do that.

Pretty good, huh?
[as students continue throwing their food from their lunch boxes at the Trunch, she antt to escape, but gasps in horror at the sight of a gargantuan crowd of other students in front of her, holding food, water balloons, and other objects, ready to hurl them at her, as the Trunch attempts to leave, the army of students assail the Trunch with their food, as she passes by Bruce, Bruce shoves chocolate cake into her mouth]

Ha ha! Yeah!

Narrator

And the Trunchbull was gone. Never to be seen or heard from, never to darken a doorway again.

Narrator

Miss Honey moved back into her father's house. Of course, Matilda was a frequent visitor.

Tea time.

Did you know that the heart of a mouse beats at the rate of 650 times a minute?

My…. Where did you learn that?

In a book. It beats so fast that it doesn't sound like it's beating at all. It sounds like it's humming. A porcupine's heart beats 300 times a minute.

Wait!

Hey, you. Hey. We're leaving. Let's go. Get in the car. Hurry up. …Let's wrap up these cookies. Come on. We're leaving. Now!

I'd be happy to walk her home.

Well, nobody'll be there. We're moving to Guam. Come on. Let's go.

Guam?

Yeah. Daddy's not gonna be in the auto business anymore.

I don't want to leave!

We're going on a permanent vacation.

Yeah, and we've gotta beat the speedboat salesmen to the airport.

I love it here! I want to keep going to my school! It isn't fair!

Miss Honey? Please don't make them...!

Get in the car, Melinda!

Matilda!

Whatever.

I want to be with Miss Honey!

Miss Honey doesn't want you! Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?!

Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child, and I love her.

Adopt me, Miss Honey! You can adopt me.

Look, I don't have time for all these legalities.

One second, Dad. I have the adoption papers.

What? Where did you get those?

From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox.

Are you hearing this, Harry?

All you have to do is sign them.

I am going to be an only child again.

Shut up! I-I-I can't think with all these sirens. What do you think, pumpkin?

You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. I never understood you. Not one little bit. Who's got a pen?

Here.

Thanks.

Narrator

And doing perhaps the first decent thing they ever did for their daughter, the Wormwoods signed the adoption papers.

And here. And here.

All right. Come on. Turn around. You're not gonna be calling us for support payments, or nothing like that, huh?

Oh, no. We'll have everything we need. Don't worry.

All right. Here. Let's roll.

Ciao!

Narrator

So, Harry and Zinnia got away.

Narrator

And as bad as things were before, that's how good they became. Miss Honey was made principal of Crunchem Hall which had to add an upper school because children never wanted to leave. Then Matilda found to her great surprise, that life could be fun. And she decided to have as much of it as possible. After all, she was a very smart kid. But the happiest part of the story was that Matilda and Miss Honey had each gotten what they'd always wanted. A loving family. And Matilda never had to use her powers again. Well, I mean, "Almost never".

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago, never mind how long precisely, having little or no money in my purse and nothing particular to...
[The screen fades out into credits.]