The Lorax quotes from The Lorax (2012)

The Lorax

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

The Lorax

Who taught you guys how to steal a bed?

The Lorax

You got to be kidding me. [to another Bar-ba-loot] Can he swim? [the Bar-ba-loot shakes his head] Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm comin' to get ya!

The Lorax

A tree falls in the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

The Lorax

Hey!

The Lorax

Did you chop down this tree?

Uhh... No. Who did it?ǃ [gasps] What's that? [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot] I think he did it.

Lorax

Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out!

And who are you? [pokes the Lorax]

Lorax

Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax, guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. [The Once-ler stares at him] So, you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?

No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

Lorax

Uhh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

Okay, um... Didn’t really happen. Oh, I know what you want! [pokes Lorax’s nose, He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Marshmallow. Holds it out.] [baby talk] I’ve got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw. Yummy-yummy-yummy... [The Lorax stares at the marshmallow]

Lorax

How dare you! Give me that! [He grabs the marshmallow. Sniffs it. It smells good] Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it.

Whoa! What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? [The Lorax continues circling around the tent-house pulling up stakes. He grabs his HAMMER and follows, pounding them back in.] What's your deal, man?

Lorax

Time for you to go, Beanpole!

Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day.

Lorax

Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures?

What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!

Lorax

Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. [To Once-Ler] Shame on you. For shame!
[Once-ler drops the hammer and hides it behind his feet. Then he sees all of the animals nodding their heads in agreement. He’s had it.

All right, you know what? That's it! [Points at Lorax] You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. [He turns and enters his cottage. His sticks his tongue out and does Raspberries to the Lorax before slamming the door behind him! He sighs heavily, shaking his head]

Lorax

Then you leave me no choice. [Startled, the Once-ler turns and sees that the Lorax is somehow inside with him. He points a threatening finger at the Once-ler and speaks in a spooky voice as if he’s casting a spell] If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. [Lorax turns to make a dramatic exit, but can’t reach the doorknob of Once-ler’s door. He hops a couple of times. Finally, the Once-ler lets him out.] Thanks.

Yeah, okay.

Lorax

You have been warned.
[The Lorax storms out and slams the door, leaving the Once-ler alone in his cottage.]

I-I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! [hugs the Lorax] You saved my life!

Lorax

Yeah, I did, but you know, it's not that big a deal.

It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! [realizes] Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?

Lorax

Uh, about that, uh... actually, um... [mumbles] I put your bed in the water. [The Once-ler drops him in shock] I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem,

All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise.

Lorax

Thank you. But I'm going to keep my eye on you.

Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. [walks away, then comes back] Right after I find my bed.

Ow! Okay, what are you...? Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are YOU doing here?!

The Lorax

Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep.

What? Exactly. And sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away.

Lorax

I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done.

"No harm done"? "No harm done"? Okay. [sees fish bathing in soap] Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. [sees a bird laying an egg] Ew. Did you just...In my bowl?!

Lorax

Why do you even own this? You don't have a mustache.

Okay, that's it!

Lorax

What? I thought we made a deal last night.

Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees.

Lorax

And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving! What's for breakfast? [looks into the fridge to find the big Bar-ba-loot eating entire cubes of butter] Breakfast is overrated. [closes the fridge door]

You know what? I got work to do. [quickly changes outfit] Yep! I got to go into town and sell my Thneed!

Lorax

You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?

"Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. [He walks over to the Bar-ba-loots sleeping on the table and brushes them all off] It has a million uses! [He reaches under the table and pulls up Lou who is now wearing the Thneed as underwear] Look at this. It's a swimsuit! [Then he points to the muddy animal tracks on the floor.] Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! [He uses it to wipe up the mud tracks] But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! [Then he goes to the fish swimming a glass filled with water. Shoves the Thneed into the glass. SLUUUURP! It instantly soaks up all the water, leaving the irritated fish standing in the dry glass.] It also works as a hat. [He plops the Thneed onto Lorax’s head. SPLURCH! It’s sopping wet and drips all over him. The Lorax gives the Once- ler a look] Of course, you probably want to wring it out first.

Lorax

Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing.

Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo.

Lorax

You're bringing a guitar?

Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! [He holds up the Thneed defiantly.] Yeah. [He slams the door, waking up a Swommee-Swan, who HONKS.]

So, who invited the giant furry peanut?

Lorax

You callin' me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose!

Ha! [advances on him]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

Lorax

That's a woman...?ǃ

You know what? You can just shut your mustache! My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal, and I mean no harm. But I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees in to Thneeds which everyone wants because everyone needs! [The Lorax falls backwards and hits the ground.] And nothing, no, NOTHING is going to stop me!

Lorax

That's it. The very last one. That may stop you.

What a dump.

Hey, Aunt Grizelda!

Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long!

No, Brett, that’s actually not a… Okay.

Go long! Go long!

I got it! I got it! Got it!

He totally ran into that tree!

Ow!

Oncie, is that you?

Mom!

There he is! There’s my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right?

Hey! I love this guy!

But you always said I wouldn’t amount to anything, remember?

Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you!

I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you’re all here, you all work for me, and that’s cool. So, let’s get to work.

Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you please stop throwing that bear?!

The Lorax

Time out. Back up. Stop. Don’t move an inch. Nobody’s moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye.

So, who invited the giant furry peanut?

The Lorax

You callin' me a peanut, huh?! I'll go right up your nose!

Ha! [advances on him]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

The Lorax

That's a woman?

Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let’s not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend…

The Lorax

Acquaintance.

Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees.

The Lorax

That’s right. And on behalf of the trees, get out!

Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I’m going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay?

The Lorax

Bigger?

Yeah, this isn’t some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It’s going to be huge!

The Lorax

Which way does a tree fall?

Uh, down?

The Lorax

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

The Lorax

So how are things?

What are you doing here?

The Lorax

Happy yet? You filled that hole deep down inside you, or do you still need more?

Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote "powers" to stop me?

The Lorax

I told you, that's not how it works.

Right, I forgot - you're a fraud! I need you to get out! Now!

The Lorax

Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be?

You know what? You can just shut your moustache! [begins inching towards the Lorax, who backs away] My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal, I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds! And nothing is going to stop me!

The Lorax

Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you.
[Now the Once-ler sadly realized what he had done horribly]

The Lorax

You done good, Beanpole. You done good. [short pause as he hugs his old friend for a moment, then chuckles] By the way, nice mustache.