Uncle Dan We're not gonna make it, are we? [Pam: Uncle Dan!] You can tell me, I don't mind! I'm a big boy! I'm a big duck!
Played by Danny DeVito 
Migration (2023) · 47 quotes
Migration (2023) · 47 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Migration (2023): in 11 of its 47 quotes
Most scenes with: Mack (5), Pam (5), Dax (5)
Wake me up when it's my turn to be eaten.
More lines from Uncle Dan
5 quotes Uncle Dan Uncle Dan What do they do? Rip you apart then eat you?
Uncle Dan Hey!
Uncle Dan I don't like heights.
Uncle Dan [upon spotting a sandwich]
Well, hello there.
Scenes with Uncle Dan
5 scenes
You and your flock can stay here as long as you like. I could show you around.
Kim
Hmm?
I mean, this is pretty much it, but...
Kim
[eats some kelp]
Mmm. Thanks. But we're just passing by on our way down south. We're gonna spend the winter there. Where are you guys going?
We spend winter here to avoid psycho killers like your-- [Dax dunks Gwen into the water]
Sorry. [points at Gwen] Wart.
Kim
Wait. So you don't go anywhere for the winter?
Uh, nope.
Kim
[gasps]
You should totally come with us!
What? [Gwen rises out of the water] Really?
[gasps for air, cough out the water]
Kim
[excitedly]
Yes! Your flock could totally join ours. Oh, my gosh, this will be so cool. Wait. Do you like tropical food? What's your take on bananas? [Gwen holds out her webbed foot to keep Kim away from Dax]
Oh. I don't...
Kim
Ah, you're gonna love 'em! [hands Gwen her seaweed] You hold this. I'll go ask my dad. Dad! Dad!
What just happened?
Kim
Dad!
I don't know, but you're in trouble. [wiping her webbed foot on Dax]
[in distance]
Dax! Gwen! [approaches to Dax & Gwen] Are you crazy? You can't just take off like that.
He made me do it!
What?!
And he talked to a girl.
A girl?
Gwen!
Yeah, and he told her he wants to marry her.
What? [covers Gwen with his wings] I didn't say that!
[slyly]
You said it with your eyes. [Dax angrily starts hitting her] Dad, he's hitting me! He's hitting me!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Enough! Enough!
Sibling cruelty!
[to Gwen sternly]
Enough. ([To Dax] Dax, you shouldn't hit your sister. [To Gwen] Gwen, you shouldn't lie about Dax saying anything what he hasn't said.) [grabs Dax and Gwen as Pam arrives] Okay. Hello. Hi. Hi. Big hellos. And we're good. Let's go. [starts to leave with Dax and Gwen in his wings]
Mack.
What? I said hi. I smiled. I made eye contact. I checked all the boxes. [Dax and Gwen frown in annoyance as Pam is about to yell at him until Kim and her family arrives]
Kim's Dad: Hey there. [Mack stops] I heard you want to join our migration. [Pam turns around in surprise]
Sorry?
Kim's Mom: Oh, we're going back to Jamaica. Have you ever been?
[Mack turns around suspiciously]
No. (We never been anywhere.) [Mack rolls his eyes]
Kim's Mom: Oh, it's just magical. I swear, there's even a luminous lagoon where the water glows. [Pam, Dax, and Gwen are amazed, but Mack frowns in annoyance]
Oh, wow. Oh, I really want to see that.
[gasps in horror softly]
Kim's Dad: [chuckles happily as his wife swims back in him] Well, then it is settled. Your whole flock can join us. [excitedly] This is gonna be great.
Oh, gosh. That's... [laughs as Mack starts to dramatically panic about this] I don't know what to say about it.
[interrupts]
Wait! Wait, wait, wait. [chuckles nervously as he approaches to Kim and her family] I say there's a big misunderstanding here. Unfortunately, we're just slammed this winter. Aren't we, Pam? 'Cause we've got the thing, and then the... We got the thing after that. So, you know what? We can't go. [his family becomes dumbfoundly shocked] But you guys go. [turns around to leave] Have a great time. And, you know, tell the glowing water we said hi. [looks forward grumpily as he leaves]
Kim's Dad: Uh, well, maybe next year, then?
[dishonestly as he swims back]
You got it. Next year!
Kim's Dad: [little annoyed at Mack] Uh, well, I guess it's time for us to go. [Kim and her flock start to leave the pond]
Kim
Thanks. [chuckles] Have a nice... pond. [flies away to catch up to her flock]
I'm so sorry you can't have babies with her. [Kim and her flock disappear in the distance]
That... was so... [angered] rude!
I know. [imitates Kim as Pam angrily turns around to him] "Have a nice pond." Who says that? That's just poor parenting. [Pam rolls her eyes in annoyance]
Me?!
Yes, you.
Okay. So I got a little carried away. [continues to do home improvement on his family tree home] But migration? [throws a ball of mud on his family tree & presses it] What a stupid idea.
Why? Because I found a safe place for...[smiles slyly]...us to live and we're... [hugs his family tree] ... happy here?
I-I want us to get out and see the world.
Me, too, Dad.
Yeah. I want to go to Jamai... Jam... J... where they make jam. [Dax & Pam happily looks back at Mack]
You-you really want those things?
Dax & Pam
[happily]
Yes.
Yes.
Dax & Pam
[anxiously]
Yes!
Yes.
Dax & Pam
No! [frown in annoyance at him]
Yes! I mean... I mean no.
[growls angrily at them]
D-Do you know what can happen on a trip that long? [angrily approaches to grab Dax and Gwen] What sort of father would I be if I put my young fowl in harm's way for no reason except a chance at a Caribbean vacation?
A father who knows it's important for his kids to see other parts of the world! Mack, I don't want to miss out on life because you're afraid to leave this pond. This isn't about migration, it's about...adventure! Seeing what else life has to offer! Is that a little scary? Sure, but isn't it worth it?
No, Pam. Not really.
[sighs in sadness and turns to Mack]
You really need to open your eyes, Mack... before you miss it all. Come on, kids. [Pam, Dax and Gwen leave Mack to ponder about Pam's words, later at night, Mack starts to feel ashamed about his actions towards his family, then, he hears & feels snoring underneath his feet]
Hmm? [looks underneath himself in confusion] Huh? Huh? [screams & moves off to find out it was his Uncle Dan]
Uncle Dan [coughs]
Uncle Dan, what are you doing here?!
Uncle Dan [coughs]
Ugh, I don't know. I must have drifted from my nest again. [tries to get up] May you be a good boy and get me back there?
[barges into the tree while his family is sleeping]
Rise and shine, Mallards, we're burning daylight, up and at 'em, let's go, go, go! [feeds Dax and Gwen some berries] Here's breakfast!
Getting your soppy feathers out of bed, come on, we gotta get ready!
Nothing. Just, you know, for our big, super-fun FAMILY MIGRATION!
What?
HA! Bet you didn't see that coming.
A-are you serious?
Yep. An adventure into the totally unknown... [turns nervous] And I'm gonna love it.
Woah, woah, woah. Is this real?
What do you mean, "Is this real?"
We're really going?
Yes.
On a migration?
Mm-hmm.
To Jamaica?
Yeah.
Together?
Yes.
Like everyone?
Yes!
Including you?
YES! We're all going on a migration to Jamaica! In which language should I tell you--?
You're welcome.
Wait, wait, wait! [completes the family hug]
[after a brief moment, the family is interrupted by Dan, who has entered the tree and is chewing on the vines] [gasps, overjoyed]
Uncle Dan, you're coming too!
Gwen, no!
No, no, no, no...
We're going to Jamaica!
Dan No, I don't think so, kiddo.
Oh, please, Uncle Dan?
Dan Nah.
[nervously]
Oh, too bad he doesn't wanna come, honey, we tried, what else could we do? Let's leave.
[determined to have Dan come with them, Gwen inhales]
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...EEEE...EEA...SE...!? [flops on the ground; weakly] Pretty please...?
Dan Woah... That did it! I can't refuse her. Look at her! Look at how cute she is.
Yes! Uncle Dan is coming! [chanting] Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan...
Dan [chanting along with Gwen]
Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan...
Oh, for real?
Dan [exiting the tree]
Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan, Uncle D, that's me!
Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan, YEAH!
Mack and Pam
[reluctantly]
Yay...
[The Mallards are caught in a rainstorm and have to take shelter underneath a boardwalk]
Hey, kids, don't worry. We're gonna be alright. Here we are together, we're on an adventure. I promised adventure, and this is exactly what I promised, huh?
Dan We're not gonna make it, are we?
Dan You can tell me, I don't mind. I'm a big boy. I'm a big duck.
No, Uncle Dan, Things are gonna be fine. Isn't that right, Mack?
Uh, I, uh... I mean yes, Mom's right, this is fun. This is the kind of thing we'll remember for years to come, we'll look back and laugh. [chuckles]
[a large talon comes down onto a rock, then another large talon appears beside it then walks over towards the front of the boardwalk, then a head peeks down revealing an elderly heron lady to the Mallards] [Mallards gasp]
A heron.
The one from Dad's story.
The ultimate duck killer.
Erin
Hello, little ducks.
She's bluffing.
Erin
So tell me, what's a nice little family of mallards doing down here all cold and wet?
Nothing, we're good. We're enjoying it.
Erin
But you must be freezing here.
Oh no, we're not.
Erin
Come. [pulls the Mallards out from underneath the boardwalk with her neck]
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
Erin
Let Erin take care of you in her comfy little nest. [laughs eccentrically]
Erin
In you go. Hup, hup, hup. Harry! Harry look. Look what I found. A nice little family of traveling mallards. Mallards.
[a thunder crash reveals Harry, an elderly male heron sitting in a chair]
Uh, okay. Nice meeting you all. Bye-bye.
Erin
In a rush, are you? [shuts the door]
Oh, we don't want to be a bother. [chuckles nervously] You look busy decaying.
Erin
You're not bothering at all. But maybe herons are not good enough for you, Mallards?
No, of course not. We're happy to stay. [chuckles then sighs]
Erin
Good! let me get your bed ready.
Dan What do they do, rip you apart, then eat you?
Dan I don't know how they do it. What's the method?
Dan [sighs]
Wake me up when it's my turn to be eaten.
What?
What are you doing, Pam?
I don't know. I just don't want to offend them.
Can't you see they want to eat us?
Well she can't eat us. She doesn't have teeth.
Well, what if she cuts us into pieces first?
[Erin pulls out a knife]
I don't want to be cut into piece... [she squeals when she doesn't finish her sentence]
Erin
I-I-I beg your pardon? [pulls out a pan]
Oh what's that? No, no. We were just saying your nest is just so charming. Weren't we kids? [chuckles]
Erin
[hangs the pan on her neck]
Oh, thank you. We moved here a few years ago. We used to migrate all the time like you. Harry was such an adventurer. Fierce predator too. He could catch any prey with a single swift peck.
Erin
[a flea comes buzzing between the Mallards and Harry quickly catches it near the frightened Mallards, Harry puts his head down with the flea still in his beak and leans back up in his chair as the flea buzzes erratically and sucks it into his esophagus, eating it]
Those were the good old days. Now Harry's too old. I'm the one who brings food back to the nest. [gazes down at the Mallards] But anyways, you must be exhausted, here's your bed. [take the pan off her neck and lays it down right in-front of the Mallards]
There's no way we're sleeping in that.
Erin
But it's our finest bed.
[escorts her family and herself into the pan]
And it is perfect. Why Thank you. [chuckles] Wow huh? Hey feel this? Even comfier than our own nest.
Yeah, sure. It's greasier too. Oh, [pulls out a dead fish] looks like your last guest is still here. And dead.
Erin
You're welcome, sweethearts. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.
[turns the lights down/off]
Get your wings off my uncle.
[Gwen yells as she runs over towards the pigeons] [as Uncle Dan is fighting with the pigeons over the sandwich and the Mallards trying to get them away]
Dax, Gwen, wait. Stay away from my family. Back away! Back away! Back away! Get out of here, you trashy, trashy VERMIN!
[the word "vermin" echoes voices in which the pigeons gasp] (from the tunnel)
Who said that?! I asked WHO SAID THAT?!
[The leaves blown from the tunnel. The pigeons and Uncle Dan point to Mack. Chump approaches from the tunnel.] [to Mack]
Come here, bumpkin. [The pigeons carry a frightened Mack towards her] Say it again.
Uh, which part?
"Trashy, trashy vermin".
Let the record reflect I just meant to say, "trashy vermin". [chuckles] Which I’m not saying that’s good, but I wasn’t doubling down on “trashy”, vermin.
[uses her claw as a toothpick]
You ducks make me sick, you know that? You’re fed all day by the humans in the park, but that’s not enough for you. No, no, no. You got to come to our territory. You got to steal our food. And then you insult us?!
What? No, no, no, no, I wasn’t.
NAME?!
Uh, Mack.
Well, Uh, "Mack", I’m the Chump, and I’m the leader of this group of hardworking birds you just called vermin. [hawks and spits, then the pigeons]
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So listen, Chump…
Sorry, I thought your name was Chump.
Yeah, Chump, yeah. That’s my name. Why?
Right. So, listen, Chump…
I'm sorry, is everybody else hearing "Chump", or--?
What did… WHAT?!
[cuts them off]
Okay, okay. I think there’s a slight misunderstanding here. Excuse me. Will you excuse me? Coming through. Uh-huh. Thank you. Okay. Hi there, I'm Pam. I'm sharing my life with him, so I’m painfully aware of all the stupid things that come out of his mouth.
Hmm? Oh, yeah, that’s true. She is.
But I assure you, he meant no harm. And to show our gratitude for your understanding in this matter, how about we share the sandwich 50-50?
60-40.
70-30!
65-35!
68-32!
67-33!
You got yourself a deal.
Dan [looks at the sandwich]
Uh... You don’t want to try 50-50 again?
Uncle Dan!
Dan All right, all right.
Thank you, Chump.
Sorry for busting your bills over here, but, uh (sniffles) I get sensitive, is all. Us pigeons we got big hearts, too. Ain't that right, Guys?
Pigeon with an onion ring
Oh for sure.
Pigeon named Greg
We just want to be loved...
Pigeon with an olive in it's mouth: and respected.
Guys, Guys. I just met these birds who are totally lost, and I'd said we'd help them get home! What do you say?
Penguins
Hello.
[Gwen waves to a penguin] (clears throat)
Mack, you do know that penguins are from the South Pole?
I know! Isn’t that great?
Gwen and Dax
Yeah!
We’re going to the South Pole!
Uncle Dan (grumpy)
No, I’m not going. No way.
Oh, please, Uncle Dan. (straining) Please…
Uncle Dan Okay, okay. We’re going to the South Pole. Hmph!
Dax, Gwen and the Penguins: Yeah! Yeah!
Come on, Pam! We’re going to the South Pole!
Okay, so let’s talk itinerary. I say Costa Rica, Panama, Amazon River. Any other ideas?
Oh, oh! I want to see Titicaca!
Titicaca, Great!
[Title card appears. Credits roll.]
Other characters in Migration
More Danny DeVito characters
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
Narrator
The Lorax
Vincent Benedict
Bergman
George Shapiro
Philoctetes
Chief Wyatt Rash