ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Dax: Get your wings off my uncle.
[Gwen yells as she runs over towards the pigeons]
[as Uncle Dan is fighting with the pigeons over the sandwich and the Mallards trying to get them away]
Mack: Dax, Gwen, wait. Stay away from my family. Back away! Back away! Back away! Get out of here, you trashy, trashy VERMIN!
[the word "vermin" echoes voices in which the pigeons gasp]
Chump: (from the tunnel) Who said that?! I asked WHO SAID THAT?!
[The leaves blown from the tunnel. The pigeons and Uncle Dan point to Mack. Chump approaches from the tunnel.]
Chump: [to Mack] Come here, bumpkin. [The pigeons carry a frightened Mack towards her] Say it again.
Mack: Uh, which part?
Chump: "Trashy, trashy vermin".
Mack: Let the record reflect I just meant to say, "trashy vermin". [chuckles] Which I’m not saying that’s good, but I wasn’t doubling down on “trashy”, vermin.
Chump: [uses her claw as a toothpick] You ducks make me sick, you know that? You’re fed all day by the humans in the park, but that’s not enough for you. No, no, no. You got to come to our territory. You got to steal our food. And then you insult us?!
Mack: What? No, no, no, no, I wasn’t.
Chump: NAME?!
Mack: Uh, Mack.
Chump: Well, Uh, "Mack", I’m the Chump, and I’m the leader of this group of hardworking birds you just called vermin. [hawks and spits, then the pigeons]
Mack: Okay, okay, okay, okay. So listen, Chump…
Chump: [gets angry] What did you just call me?
Mack: Sorry, I thought your name was Chump.
Chump: Yeah, Chump, yeah. That’s my name. Why?
Mack: Right. So, listen, Chump…
Chump: [gets angrier] WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
Mack: I'm sorry, is everybody else hearing "Chump", or--?
Chump: What did… WHAT?!
Pam: [cuts them off] Okay, okay. I think there’s a slight misunderstanding here. Excuse me. Will you excuse me? Coming through. Uh-huh. Thank you. Okay. Hi there, I'm Pam. I'm sharing my life with him, so I’m painfully aware of all the stupid things that come out of his mouth.
Mack: Hmm? Oh, yeah, that’s true. She is.
Pam: But I assure you, he meant no harm. And to show our gratitude for your understanding in this matter, how about we share the sandwich 50-50?
[pause; Chump groans, turns her back and looks back at her]
Chump: 80-20.
Pam: 60-40.
Chump: 70-30!
Pam: 65-35!
Chump: 68-32!
Pam: 67-33!
Chump: You got yourself a deal.
Pam: [to Dan] Uncle Dan, cut the sandwich.
Dan: [looks at the sandwich] Uh... You don’t want to try 50-50 again?
Pam: Uncle Dan!
Dan: All right, all right.
[Uncle Dan cuts the sandwich and feeds the non-licked half to the pigeons]
Chump: You, I like.
Pam: Thank you, Chump.
Chump: Sorry for busting your bills over here, but, uh (sniffles) I get sensitive, is all. Us pigeons we got big hearts, too. Ain't that right, Guys?
Pigeon with an onion ring: Oh for sure.
Pigeon named Greg: We just want to be loved...
Pigeon with an olive in it's mouth: and respected.
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