Kumail Nanjiani movie quotes

View Quote (high pitched helium voice) We did it!

View Quote Let's fly!

View Quote This isn't working.

View Quote I read in an interview with Hugh Grant, he said he doesn't smile because it makes his face look fat. So I didn't smile in pictures for many years.

View Quote Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants.

View Quote Apparently, there are good and bad comas. And the kind that they put her in, the medically induced ones, are definitely the good kind of coma. Like you know how there are good and bad carbs? Gremlins, those can be good or bad.

View Quote I pledge loyalty eternal to you, Agent M.

View Quote Nice save.

View Quote I'm not losing another queen.

View Quote Yoshi: What bird stuff can you do?
Plimpton: Well, what bear stuff can you do? [Yoshi roars at him] You win this round.

View Quote Plimpton: What kind of polar bear works on their tan?
Yoshi: Well, what kind of bird... [gets up] Wait, are you even a bird?
Plimpton: Of course I am.
Yoshi: Well, can you fly?
Plimpton: No.
Yoshi: Can you swim?
Plimpton: No.
Yoshi: Well, what can you do?
Plimpton: I can run.
Yoshi: I can run. What bird stuff can you do?
Plimpton: Well, what bear stuff can you do? [Yoshi roars at him] You win this round.

View Quote Yoshi: Hey, big bird, you doin' okay?
Plimpton: No, nothing about me is okay. My father was right about me. I should've been an omelet.
Yoshi: Pff! I know how you feel. My dad said he was going out for a pack of seals one night...and never came back. Guess we got something in common after all, Plimpton.
Plimpton: What is this feeling? I'm all warm and fuzzy inside.
Yoshi: That's friendship, bro.
Plimpton: Huh. Not bad, bro.
Kevin: [sniffling] I'm not crying, you're crying. [bawls]

View Quote I mean, my mom is weird, and collects seashells. Your dad levels cities and attacks innocent people. So, they've all got their quirks, you know.

View Quote (After the ninjas and Garmadon finally retrieve the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon)
Garmadon: You know, L-loyd, after spending all this time with you and, seeing the amazing ninja warrior you've become...
Lloyd: Yeah?
Garmadon: You know, I've realized that... we don't need to fight each other, when we can fight alongside each other.
Lloyd: Really?
Garmadon: Yeah. L-loyd, will you go back to Ninjago with me, as father... (Lloyd gasps excitedly) and, General number one?
Lloyd: (shocked and confused) Wait, what? Your... your General number one?
Garmadon: Exactly!
Lloyd: But... but you just said how you regretted letting me go.
Garmadon: Because you'd make the perfect General number one. We're an amazing team, L-loyd. You, me, the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon. We'd be unstoppable!
Lloyd: No. I don't want to be your General number one.
Garmadon: But just imagine it. We can rule Ninjago, together! (Lloyd becomes horrified as he realize his father is still incapable in changing his evil ways) Come with me, L-loyd. We have so much lost time to make up for! And since I'll no longer be attacking the city, no one will hate you anymore! And I'll never forget your birthday again, because we'll celebrate your birthday every day! And think of all the things I could teach you: tie a tie, ride a bike, conquer a city! (taking the chest from Lloyd) And if we leave now, we can unleash the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon on Meowthra and conquer Ninjago together. Come on!
Lloyd: Dad, please don't.
Garmadon: (bumping into Cole) Huh?
Lloyd: Come back to Ninjago with me and save the city.
Garmadon: What?
Lloyd: You'll be a hero.
Garmadon: But that's not who I am, L-loyd. People would never see me as a hero.
Lloyd: But it doesn't have to be this way. This is your chance to make a change.
Garmadon: (feeling betrayed) I didn't want it to be this way either, but here we are.
Lloyd: Dad, please, don't go.
Garmadon: If I couldn't change then, what makes you think I could change now?
(Surrounded by Cole and Zane, Garmadon attacks them both)
Lloyd: No, no!
(The fight over the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon rages on between Garmadon and the ninjas)
Zane: Stop!
Kai: Oh, no no no no!
Nya: No, hey!
Garmadon: (kicking Nya away) Back off!
Kai: (furiously attacking Garmadon) Hey, that's my sister!
Garmadon: Get off my face!
Kai: (throwing Garmadon against the ground) Bam!
Jay: (taking the chest from Garmadon and runs) I got it!
Garmadon: Give that back! (Garmadon angrily knocks Jay over by kicking the stool towards him, making him drop the chest)
Lloyd: (picking up the chest) I can help you. We can do it together!
Garmadon: Just give me the box and we can talk about it.
Lloyd: I can't. You'll just leave! (Lloyd loses hold of the chest after Garmadon kicks him)
Nya: (catching the chest) I got it!
Zane: (noticing Garmadon coming at Nya) Look out!
Nya: (passing the chest to Cole) Cole!
Garmadon: Ha! Gotcha!
Cole: Nice try. (passing the chest to Zane) Zane!
Zane: We're like the Harlem Globetrotters.
Kai: Here! Here! Here here here here here! (Zane passes the chest to Kai) Ba ba-da ba! (Garmadon kicks the chest away from his hands) Hey!
Lloyd: (seeing Nya catching the chest again) Over here, over here!
Garmadon: Get outta my way!
Nya: (throwing the chest high for Lloyd, catch it!
Kai: Run, Lloyd, run!
Zane: Catch it, Lloyd!
Lloyd: I got it! I got it!
(Lloyd fails to catch the chest in the nick of time)
Zane: Preditable but regrettable.
Jay: Ughhh!
Nya: Bummer, man.
Garmadon: Oh, L-Loyd. (Garmadon slides, tipping some of the ninjas over and snatching the chest)
Lloyd: Dad!
Garmadon: (before leaving the temple) I should have taught you how to catch. (He locks his son and the ninjas inside)
Lloyd: No!
(Garmadon flies away in the helicopter he and the ninjas had built last night, unaware of the rumbling ground he caused about to make the temple fall apart)
Garmadon: So long, L-loyd.