Bruce Bogtrotter
Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
Played by Jimmy Karz 
Matilda (1996) · 72 quotes
Matilda (1996) · 72 quotes
Tied for 10th most-quoted character in Matilda (1996): in 5 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Matilda (3), Trunchbull (3), Lavender (3)
I don't know what you're talking about.
More lines from Bruce Bogtrotter
1 quoteScenes with Bruce Bogtrotter
3 scenes
Hop to! Hippity hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room immediately. SIT! [kids sit down]
What's up?
Beats me.
[hits rod against left hand twice]
Bruce Bogtrotter. [students gasp as screen zooms to Bruce] Would little Brucey come up here, please?
Uh-oh. He lives on my block.
This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?
Bruce
I don't know what you're talking about.
Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! [its rod at Bruce] Do you deny it? Confess.
Bruce
Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
This one was mine, and it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.
Bruce
My mom's is better.
It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog. [taunting him with the piece of cake] Here we go. Smells chocolatey, eh? Now, eat it.
Bruce
I don't want any, thank you.
EAT IT!
She wouldn't give him cake.
Girl
It's poison.
Something's up.
Bruce
Yes, ma'am.
You must have some more.
Bruce
No, thanks.
But you'll hurt cook's feelings. Cookie. [Cookie uncovers the whole cake, from which a slice had been cut] She made this cake just for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake. And you will not leave this platform until you have consumed the entire confection!
Cookie
Entire confection. See ya at lunch.
Thank you, Cookie.
Cookie
Rotten kids. [walks away]
You wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it!
Without a doubt.
Bruce looks real bad.
Give up?
Go, Bruce!
Students
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! [excited clamoring]
Silence!
Bruce
Yes! Yes! Yeah!!!
Silence! Stop! Silence! Stop!
Bruce
YEEEEEAH! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
[Agatha puts her arms out, then breaks the plate on Bruce's head, making him burp and the kids laugh]
Shut up! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Any children who object will go straight into the chokey together!
With the FBI watching her father and the Trunchbull terrorizing her school, it was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends.
[Lavender catches something while the children are hanging out at a creek]
A frog, a frog, a frog!
What is it, Lavender?
A frog!
It's a chameleon.
It's a newt. [reading from a book] "Any of the small semi-aquatic salamanders from the genus Triturus".
Bruce
[also reading]
"Some are brightly colored and secrete irritating substances."
How could you keep going, you useless, flaming CAR?! Wormwood! [screen pans to Lavender getting inside and Matilda opening her mouth surprised, looking at Trunchbull] Sell me a lemon?! You're heading for the chokey, young lady!
Chokey?
Teach you a lesson!
What lesson?
You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!
My father?
The guy with the stupid haircut!
I'm nothing like my father.
You're the spitting image. The apple never rots far from the tree!
[Trunchbull Matilda in the Chokey, makes her stay in there after school for an hour, and locks her inside.] [while Matilda is kicking and screaming in the Chokey wanting to be free the scene cuts from the Chokey to Matilda's classroom]
Miss Honey!!!!!
Miss Trunchbull teaches our class today, Lavender. Please get a water pitcher.
But, Miss Honey!!!!
Shh! No, quickly. She'll be here any second. Come on. Oh, make sure the water's cold, Lavender. [Lavender pours the glass with the newt into the pitcher]
Vinny, cover the fish. Put away the art projects. Put away anything colorful. Oh Charley, won't you get those crayons for me?
Most great ideas come from hard work and careful planning. Of course, once in a while, they just jump out at you.
Rayna. Rayna. Cover the birds and the beetles. Hurry! Hurry! I hear her coming! Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly.
[hits her rod against her hand while Lavender is holding a water glass and jug]
Don't breathe at all.
Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
Students
Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
SIT!!!! [hits rod against her hand again] Shoo. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects.
They should be got rid of as early as possible. Fsht! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all. [laughs]
[Miss Honey looks and sees that Matilda isn’t there. She mouths to Lavender to ask where Matilda is. Lavender puts her hands to her throat to signal that she's in the Chokey]
Do you agree, Miss Honey?
[Miss Honey nods yes as she leaves the room to free Matilda.] [turns back to the boy]
Now. You, front of the class!
[Miss Honey rescues Matilda and hugs her] [while grabbing a boy by the legs]
Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!
Yes, Miss Trunchbull!
Miss Honey, this might be the most interesting thing you've ever done! [Miss Trunchbull drops the boy] Sit down, you squirming worm of vomit!
Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.
Get up!! Can you spell?
Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
You couldn't spell 'difficulty' if your life depended on it.
She taught us with a poem.
A poem. How sweet. What poem would that be?
Students
Mrs. D. Mrs. I. Mrs. F - F - I. Mrs. C. Mrs. U. Mrs. L - T - Y.
Why are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry! I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. What's funny? Come on. Spit it out. Speak up. I like a joke as well as the next fat person.
[She looks down and sees the newt. The children laugh]
It's a snake! It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who? Oh, Matilda. I knew it.
I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.
What did you say?
It's a newt, Miss Trunchbull.
Stand up, you villainous sack of goat slime! You did this!
No, Miss Trunchbull.
Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?
I didn't do it.
You didn't like the chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.
For what, Miss Trunchbull?
For this newt, you pissworm!
I'm telling you, I didn't do it!
Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right, and you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization. Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am God!
[Splash! The glass tips over and the newt lands on Trunchbull, she panics trying to shake it off, everyone in the class laughs]
You!
I didn't move!
You did this!
How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here?
I'll be watching you. Each and every one of you. When you turn the corner. When you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats. When you skip merrily to lunch. I'll be watching you. All of you, and especially you!
Thanks for not telling.
Best friends don't tell. She can really dance.
Do any of you recognize... this? Let's play a little game, shall we? Who was wearing a pretty red hair ribbon yesterday [tauntingly holding it in front of Matilda] and isn't wearing one today? Can you answer me that? Who does this disgusting ribbon belong to?!!? [Throwing it on the ground and spitting on it] I shall personally see to it, that the demented, slime-breathed, little Lilliputian who owns this DISGUSTING ribbon… will never see the light of day again! YOU!!!! [pointing at Matilda]
Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I--
[Trunchbull grabs Miss Honey's wrist and attempts to break it]
I broke your arm once before. I can do it again, Jenny.
[Miss Honey uses her other hand to get Trunchbull's hand off]
I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.
[Everyone gasps]
Shut your holes! You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you.
Students
[As Trunchbull grabs Matilda until one of students saw something]
Look! [A piece of chalk levitates, as Trunchbull turns around and sees the blinds opening and closing] The chalk! And the blinds!
Students
[The blinds are opening and closing, the chalk is writing on the board]
A G A T H A. [Trunchbull watches in horror as the chalk writes] THIS IS MAGNUS. GIVE MY LITTLE BUMBLEBEE BACK HER HOUSE AND HER MONEY.
Students
[Continue reading]
THEN GET OUT OF TOWN. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL GET YOU. I WILL GET YOU LIKE YOU GOT ME. THAT IS A PROMISE. [Matilda is using her powers to hit the Trunch with the erasers, after a while of being attacked by the erasers, The Trunchbull faints, Matilda opens the blinds with her powers, the students look at Miss Trunchbull’s unconscious body, however, unbeknownst to them, The Trunch opens one eye at the camera, and quickly turns her head towards the other students, scaring them in the process]
Aaaahhh!
Aaaahhhhhhh!
Aaaahhhhhh! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
[the Trunch throws a boy out the window. Matilda makes him fly back into the room]
Woo woo woo! Woo-Hoo! Woo! Woo-Hoo-Hoo! Woo!
[Trunchbull tries to run from the boy, but the boy pushes her on to the globe, Miss Honey silently tells Matilda to spin the globe, which she obeys, Trunchbull spins around in circles until she flies off and falls on to the floor] [the Trunch is disoriented from Matilda spinning her on the globe and gets back up feeling all dizzy, when the Trunch regains consciousness, she notices Lavender, and charges toward like an angry bull, until Matilda lifts her up as the Trunch crashes through the door and lands on the floor of the hallway, Matilda then uses her powers to summon the student’s lunchboxes to have the students pelt the Trunch with their food]
Woah!
It's the Trunch!
Bruce
[Miss Honey’s class starts to pelt food at Miss Trunchbull]
Wow!
Hey, you guys, look at this!
Bruce
Yes!
Let go.
[slowly levitates safely down to the ground]
Wooooooow. Cool. I didn't know I could do that.
Pretty good, huh?
[as students continue throwing their food from their lunch boxes at the Trunch, she antt to escape, but gasps in horror at the sight of a gargantuan crowd of other students in front of her, holding food, water balloons, and other objects, ready to hurl them at her, as the Trunch attempts to leave, the army of students assail the Trunch with their food, as she passes by Bruce, Bruce shoves chocolate cake into her mouth]
Bruce
Ha ha! Yeah!
[Trunchbull runs out of the school as the students chase her outside and continue to pelt her with food, while students from the second floor of the school throw water balloons and rolls of toilet paper at her from above, the Trunch retreats to her car, and cowardly drives away in reverse, the students cheer, finally ridding the school of the Trunch for good, while Matilda hugs Lavender]
And the Trunchbull was gone. Never to be seen or heard from, never to darken a doorway again.