Matilda (1996) · 72 quotes
Tied for 10th most-quoted character in Matilda (1996): in 5 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Matilda (4), Trunchbull (4), Lavender (4)
Entire confection.
My mommy thinks they're sweet.
In that room right over there. Would you like me to pick you out one with lots of pictures in it?
Hortensia You squirts better skedaddle. I'm not kidding. The Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who's trying to hide.
I've got 9:18.
Are you ready to get sticky with Mickey?
Matilda had always wanted to go to school, because she loved to learn. She tried to imagine what her new school would be like.
Go ahead.
She pictured a lovely building surrounded by trees, and flowers and swings. Well, there was a building… And children, so regardless of what Crunchem Hall looked like, she was happy to be there. After all, any school's better than no school at all, isn't it?
Hey, wait up!
You, detention. You're too small. Grow up quicker. Heads up. Shoulders back. Stomachs in. Stand up straight.
Hey!
Sorry.
Detention for you.
That's okay. It's much better than being out there.
Is that my teacher?
Too pink!
No. That's the principal, Miss Trunchbull.
You've gotta be kidding.
Uh-uh.
Hortensia You squirts better skedaddle. I'm not kidding. The Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who's trying to hide.
Stomach in! Change those socks! Too pink!
I'm Matilda.
Lavender. [she shakes hands with Matilda]
Hortensia I'm Hortensia.
Hi.
She doesn't really hit children with that riding crop, does she?
Hortensia No. It's mostly for scare. What she does is worse. Like yesterday, in the second grade, the Trunchbull makes a weekly visit to every classroom, to show the teachers a thing or two about handling kids. And Julius Rottwinkle ate two M&Ms during her lesson.
And she caught him?
Hortensia Of course.
Aaaaaahhhhhhh!
Was Julius okay?
Hortensia After being thrown out the window? Of course he wasn't okay. He lived, if that's what you mean.
The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics: Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. The hammer throw was her specialty.
So she does this all the time?
Hortensia Better than being put in "The Chokey".
The Chokey?
Hortensia Yeah, the Chokey. [the camera zooms in on the Chokey as Hortensia explains] It's a tall, narrow hole in a wall behind a door. You have to stand in a drippy pipe with jagged edges, and the walls have broken glass with nails sticking out.
She puts kids in there?
Hortensia I've been in there twice. Sometimes she leaves you in there all day.
Hortensia They didn't believe me. I mean, would your parents believe it?
Sixty lines after school: "I must obey Miss Trunchbull."
Out of my way!
Here she comes.
Amanda Thripp.
Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
What are those? [referring to her pigtails]
Hanging down by your ears.
Are you a pig, Amanda?
Do I allow pigs in my school?
My mommy thinks they're sweet.
Your mommy... is a twit! You are chop those off before school tomorrow or I will...
But, I don't...
Come on! But! "But"? Did you say "but"?
Hortensia Hammer throw.
Definitely.
I'll give you "but"!
Good loft.
Excellent release.
Hortensia Think she'll make the fence?
Gonna be a close one.
Quiet! Get to class before I throw you all in the Chokey.
Hop to! Hippity hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room immediately. SIT! [kids sit down]
What's up?
Beats me.
Bruce Bogtrotter. [students gasp as screen zooms to Bruce] Would little Brucey come up here, please?
Uh-oh. He lives on my block.
This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! [its rod at Bruce] Do you deny it? Confess.
Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
This one was mine, and it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.
My mom's is better.
It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog. [taunting him with the piece of cake] Here we go. Smells chocolatey, eh? Now, eat it.
I don't want any, thank you.
EAT IT!
She wouldn't give him cake.
It's poison.
Something's up.
Yes, ma'am.
You must have some more.
No, thanks.
But you'll hurt cook's feelings. Cookie. [Cookie uncovers the whole cake, from which a slice had been cut] She made this cake just for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake. And you will not leave this platform until you have consumed the entire confection!
Entire confection. See ya at lunch.
Thank you, Cookie.
Rotten kids. [walks away]
You wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it!
Without a doubt.
Hortensia Bruce looks real bad.
Give up?
Hortensia Yeah, you can do it!
Go, Bruce!
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! [excited clamoring]
Silence!
Yes! Yes! Yeah!!!
Silence! Stop! Silence! Stop!
YEEEEEAH! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Shut up! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Any children who object will go straight into the chokey together!
With the FBI watching her father and the Trunchbull terrorizing her school, it was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends.
A frog, a frog, a frog!
What is it, Lavender?
A frog!
Hortensia It's a chameleon.
It's a newt. [reading from a book] "Any of the small semi-aquatic salamanders from the genus Triturus".
How could you keep going, you useless, flaming CAR?! Wormwood! [screen pans to Lavender getting inside and Matilda opening her mouth surprised, looking at Trunchbull] Sell me a lemon?! You're heading for the chokey, young lady!
Chokey?
Teach you a lesson!
What lesson?
You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!
My father?
The guy with the stupid haircut!
I'm nothing like my father.
You're the spitting image. The apple never rots far from the tree!
Miss Honey!!!!!
Miss Trunchbull teaches our class today, Lavender. Please get a water pitcher.
But, Miss Honey!!!!
Shh! No, quickly. She'll be here any second. Come on. Oh, make sure the water's cold, Lavender. [Lavender pours the glass with the newt into the pitcher]
Vinny, cover the fish. Put away the art projects. Put away anything colorful. Oh Charley, won't you get those crayons for me?
Most great ideas come from hard work and careful planning. Of course, once in a while, they just jump out at you.
Rayna. Rayna. Cover the birds and the beetles. Hurry! Hurry! I hear her coming! Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly.
Don't breathe at all.
Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
SIT!!!! [hits rod against her hand again] Shoo. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects.
They should be got rid of as early as possible. Fsht! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all. [laughs]
Do you agree, Miss Honey?
Now. You, front of the class!
Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!
Yes, Miss Trunchbull!
Miss Honey, this might be the most interesting thing you've ever done! [Miss Trunchbull drops the boy] Sit down, you squirming worm of vomit!
Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.
Get up!! Can you spell?
Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
You couldn't spell 'difficulty' if your life depended on it.
She taught us with a poem.
A poem. How sweet. What poem would that be?
Mrs. D. Mrs. I. Mrs. F - F - I. Mrs. C. Mrs. U. Mrs. L - T - Y.
Why are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry! I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. What's funny? Come on. Spit it out. Speak up. I like a joke as well as the next fat person.
It's a snake! It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who? Oh, Matilda. I knew it.
I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.
What did you say?
It's a newt, Miss Trunchbull.
Stand up, you villainous sack of goat slime! You did this!
No, Miss Trunchbull.
Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?
I didn't do it.
You didn't like the chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.
For what, Miss Trunchbull?
For this newt, you pissworm!
I'm telling you, I didn't do it!
Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right, and you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization. Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am God!
You!
I didn't move!
You did this!
How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here?
I'll be watching you. Each and every one of you. When you turn the corner. When you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats. When you skip merrily to lunch. I'll be watching you. All of you, and especially you!
Thanks for not telling.
Best friends don't tell. She can really dance.
Do any of you recognize... this? Let's play a little game, shall we? Who was wearing a pretty red hair ribbon yesterday [tauntingly holding it in front of Matilda] and isn't wearing one today? Can you answer me that? Who does this disgusting ribbon belong to?!!? [Throwing it on the ground and spitting on it] I shall personally see to it, that the demented, slime-breathed, little Lilliputian who owns this DISGUSTING ribbon… will never see the light of day again! YOU!!!! [pointing at Matilda]
Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I--
I broke your arm once before. I can do it again, Jenny.
I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.
Shut your holes! You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you.
Look! [A piece of chalk levitates, as Trunchbull turns around and sees the blinds opening and closing] The chalk! And the blinds!
A G A T H A. [Trunchbull watches in horror as the chalk writes] THIS IS MAGNUS. GIVE MY LITTLE BUMBLEBEE BACK HER HOUSE AND HER MONEY.
THEN GET OUT OF TOWN. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL GET YOU. I WILL GET YOU LIKE YOU GOT ME. THAT IS A PROMISE. [Matilda is using her powers to hit the Trunch with the erasers, after a while of being attacked by the erasers, The Trunchbull faints, Matilda opens the blinds with her powers, the students look at Miss Trunchbull’s unconscious body, however, unbeknownst to them, The Trunch opens one eye at the camera, and quickly turns her head towards the other students, scaring them in the process]
Aaaahhh!
Aaaahhhhhhh!
Aaaahhhhhh! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Woo woo woo! Woo-Hoo! Woo! Woo-Hoo-Hoo! Woo!
[Trunchbull tries to run from the boy, but the boy pushes her on to the globe, Miss Honey silently tells Matilda to spin the globe, which she obeys, Trunchbull spins around in circles until she flies off and falls on to the floor] [the Trunch is disoriented from Matilda spinning her on the globe and gets back up feeling all dizzy, when the Trunch regains consciousness, she notices Lavender, and charges toward like an angry bull, until Matilda lifts her up as the Trunch crashes through the door and lands on the floor of the hallway, Matilda then uses her powers to summon the student’s lunchboxes to have the students pelt the Trunch with their food]
Woah!
Hortensia It's the Trunch!
Hortensia Hey, you guys, look at this!
Yes!
Let go.
Wooooooow. Cool. I didn't know I could do that.
Pretty good, huh?
[as students continue throwing their food from their lunch boxes at the Trunch, she antt to escape, but gasps in horror at the sight of a gargantuan crowd of other students in front of her, holding food, water balloons, and other objects, ready to hurl them at her, as the Trunch attempts to leave, the army of students assail the Trunch with their food, as she passes by Bruce, Bruce shoves chocolate cake into her mouth]
Ha ha! Yeah!
And the Trunchbull was gone. Never to be seen or heard from, never to darken a doorway again.
