Pa Grape Excuse me!
Ah!
How's it going?
Hey! What's up?
Who are you?
Pa Grape The who us?
Yeah.
Pa Grape Oh! We are, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
Oh! You know that's right!
Nothing.
Zilch.
Nada.
Voiced by Phil Vischer 
Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002) · 28 quotes
Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002) · 28 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002): in 12 of its 28 quotes
Most scenes with: Mr. Lunt (7), Jonah (6), Larry (5)
Scenes with Pa Grape
12 scenes Pa Grape Pa Grape Pa Grape What is that? What's compassion?
Oh! That's a hard question.
Mmmm Hmmm!
Pa Grape Well, Compassion is when ya see that someone needs help, and ya wanna help them!
Yeah! Remember when we did that one thing, with that one guy?
Pa Grape Oh do I ever.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Yes! Which way is Tarshish?
Angus
Right this way! You can't miss it!
Oh! Thank you!
God (Pa Grape)
[Jonah walks and headed to Tarshish. Suddenly, God's voice interrupts, which sounds suspiciously like Pa Grape.]
Jonah!
What? Who is it?
God (Pa Grape)
Jonah! Where are you going?
Oh! It's you, Lord. Um, I'm going to... I'm going...
God (Pa Grape)
Jonah!
I'm Sorry! I can't hear you!
God (Pa Grape)
Jonah!
I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala!
God (Pa Grape)
Jonah!
I... CAN'T... HEAR... YOU!
God (Pa Grape)
Jonah!
Pa Grape [Dream transition back to Jonah, tossing in his bunk. The hold of the ship is flooding and water is splashing Jonah's face. Pa Grape is trying to wake him.]
Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
No! I... I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pa Grape Come on! Wake up! We got trouble!
What?! What's happening?!
Pa Grape We're in a storm! Like I've never seen before! If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
We seem to have sprung a leak, traveling buddy!
Pa Grape Huh? Hey! What are you doing here?
Well, yes. But you see, my new friend and I are going to Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves! Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Pa Grape Why if it wasn't for this storm I'd make you walk the plank! And you! How can you sleep at a time like this?!
What's going on?
Pa Grape I'll tell you what's going on! We're all gonna be fish food if I don't get some help!
Well, what can we do?!
Pa Grape Oh! Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he'll have mercy on us and spare our lives! Hmm... Oy! Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here! Wait a minute! That's it! ALRIGHT YOU TWO, FOLLOW ME!
Pa Grape Huh?! I thought for sure...
Alright! I admit it! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
Pa Grape But, I... The worm!
I am a Hebrew, and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land, and I'm running away from Him! He told me to go to Nineveh, but I didn't listen! You know, I don't like those people.
Oh! Fish Slappers.
Yes! And so I ran! I ran, and I ended up here, and now everyone's in terrible danger all because of me! I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea!
Awww! You don't have to do that. We gotta plank. You can just walk off!
Yes, thank you. You're too kind.
Well... Should we pull him back in?
Pa Grape Uh... I don't see why not.
Something touched me! There's... There's something in the water!
Pa Grape [The whale approaches under the ship and Jonah.]
Hurry up! Hurry!
I'm hurrying!
Pa Grape Hold on, Jonah! Aim this time!
I was aiming!
Pa Grape I can never tell where you're looking.
You should talk!
Hurry! [Lunt throws the ring, it misses again.] FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape Pull it back in! Hurry!
Okay, okay! I got it!
Pa Grape [The Whale uses the water to sprinkle around]
Let me do that!
No, no! I'll throw it!
FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape Come on! Give it here!
I said I got it!
Excuse me, gentlemen! Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
[Larry tosses the ring. This time it's headed right for Jonah. The ring lands perfectly around Jonah and gasps. The pirates smiles of his achievement. The Pirates attempt to reel Jonah back in, but before they can do so, Jonah is swallowed by a giant whale. The pirates were shocked.]
Oops.
Pa Grape So from inside the whale, Jonah prayed and asked God to forgive him for not obeying. He told God that if he got another chance, he would go to Nineveh, even though he didn't like those people very much.
So did he get another chance?
Pa Grape Shouldn't you be lookin' our for yer tow truck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That can wait. Did Jonah get another chance?
Pa Grape Well, God saw that Jonah needed help, and he wanted to help him.
That's compassion!
But did he give him a second chance even though he didn't deserve it? You know, mercy?
Pa Grape After three days, Jonah noticed something strange happening.
City Official A decree from the King! Let everyone call urgently to God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Perhaps the God that brought this man out of the Great Fish, will give us a second chance!
King Twistomer
[Crowd cheers and everyone was happy. Jonah looks around, tugging against his ropes.]
And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
Pa Grape (Narrator) So the king and the people of Nineveh, said they were sorry, stopped the fish-slapping, and started being nice to people.
Alright! I did my job! So... fire! Brimstone! Whatever! You pick! Right over there! I'll just sit here under my weed and wait.
[Jonah sits back down and forces a smile, leaning up against the weed. Without warning, the weed and Jonah crash to the ground. Jonah sits up quickly and looks around.]
What? What happened?!
[Jonah spies worm, happily munching a mouthful of weed, and sees the partially chewed weed stump.]
What?! How could you?!
Hmm? All your whining made me hungry! It was just a weed.
Just a weed?! It... It was my shade! It was my friend! Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?!
[Jonah mourns for the weed like a fallen comrade, the worm can take it no more.]
Would you look at yourself?! You care more about that weed than about all the people in Nineveh!
Well, I...
Why are you here now? Instead of back in the belly of that whale?
Ah...
Because God is compassionate! He wanted to help you! And because he is merciful! He gave you a second chance!
Oh, yes, and I'm very grateful!
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God loves everybody! Not just you?!!! That maybe he wants to give everyone a second chance?!!!
Uh, well...
He saw that those people needed help, that they didn't know right from wrong, and he wanted to help them! And that is why he sent you!
Ah...
And when you told them what they were doing wrong they said they were sorry, they put down their mackerels and their halibuts, and they asked God for a second chance. And by golly, he gave them one! Don't you see? God wants to give everyone a second chance! And so should we!
Well... If they get a second chance, those fish-slappers, well, then... IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WERE DEAD! [flops onto the ground] OH! I WISH I WERE BACK IN THAT WHALE! [Jonah is a basket case, the worm looks at him in disbelief.]
You are pathetic. You know, patience runs very deep in my family. But not that deep. I'm out of here!
What? What are you doing?
I wanted to be big and important, just like you! But the world doesn't need more people who are BIG AND IMPORTANT, the world needs more people who are nice. And compassionate. And merciful. That's what I want to be. You can find yourself a new traveling buddy. Goodbye!
You can't just leave!
Can and have!
But, who will I talk to?! You can't just leave me here all alone! Hello?! Carlisle?! Reginald?! Carlisle?! Khalil?! Khalil?! KHALIL?! NOOOOO!!
Pa Grape The End! [The Pirates slide the Plexiglas divider shut between the two booths, then flashback in episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) in "Green With Jealousy", "Muckman Messes Up", "Return of the Shredder", "Super Irma", "Cry H.A.V.O.C.!", "A Thing About Rats", "Sky Turtles", "The Catwoman from Channel Six", "Poor Little Rich Turtle", "The Old Switcheroo", "New York's Shiniest", "It Came from Beneath the Sewers", "The Day The Earth Disappeared", "Shreeka's Revenge", "State of Shock", "Planet of the Turtleoids", "Turtlemanic", "Dregg on the Earth", "The Ninja Sword of Nowhere", "A Real Snow Job", "Divide and Conquer", "Enter: Mutagen Man", "Night of the Dark Turtle", "Beware the Lotus", "Night of the Rogues", "Donatello's Degree", "Ring of Fire", "Attack of the 50-Foot Irma", "The Turtle Terminator", "Turtle Tracks", "Pirate Radio", "Pizza by the Shred", "Four Musketurtles", "Mr. Nice Guy", "Rust Never Sleeps", "Turtles on the Orient Express", "Convicts from Dimension X", "Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady", & "Get Shredder!".]
[as Jonah (Archibald Asparagus) is praying in his tent.]
A new message? Yes, wha-what's that? People being unkind? Lying? [gasps] Stealing? Oh dear, sounds like a standard turn and repent to me. Alright, name the town. I'll be on my way 1st thing in the morning. Where is it? Jericho? Damascus? What? Nineveh? I'm not aware of any Ninevehs in Israel. No, I don't think- Oh. [sees Nineveh on the map] You mean that Nineveh?
Pa Grape [off-screen; narrating]
That Nineveh wasn't in Israel at all. It was the capital of Assyria, and it was the biggest, meanest city around! Now the people of Nineveh were particularly mean to Jonah's people, the Israelites. They lied, they stole. But worst of all, they slapped people with fishes! [One of the Ninevites does so to a gourd.] They even slapped each other with fishes. [Two peas are shown doing just that.] They didn't know the difference between right and wrong. The Ninevites were so mean in fact, that most Israelites, including Jonah, wished God would just wipe Nineveh off the face of the earth! [A fire from heaven destroys Nineveh; leaving one pea. He rants before the fire destroys him too, off-screen; narrating] Needless to say, Jonah was shocked that God would want him to deliver a message to his enemies.
You don't want me to go there! You don't know what Nineveh is like! Perhaps you've never been there! Well of course you haven't! A God like you would never go to a place like Nineveh, and for that matter neither would a prophet like me. [laughs] Oh.
I wanted to be big and important, just like you! But the world doesn't need more people who are big and important, the world needs more people who are nice, and compassionate, and merciful! That's what I want to be. You can find yourself a new travelling buddy. Goodbye!? [Khalil resumes walking with the new title song "God's Not Dead (Like A Lion)" Composer and Writer Michael Tait and Kevin Max Performed by The Newsboys as Jonah stares in disbelief]
You can't just leave!
Can and am. [Reginald begins to walks away as well, leaves Jonah all alone]
But who will I talk to?! You can't just leave me here all alone?! Hello? Carlyle? Reginald? Carlyle? Khalil? Khalil? KHALIL?! NOOOOO!!
Pa Sour Grape That's [back in the present day; to everyone] the end. [closes the slider door, the Veggie Kids is initiated confusion and disappointedly/disappointion with the anticlimactickallies endingly la a Josh and the Big Wall, Text (Arial Bold White): "Veggie Kids have initiated confusion and disppointed with the anticlimactick endingly on restaurants.", includes Mike and Robert]
Dakota Richards
[in home]
I'm very disappointed in you, Percy, Annie, Junior and Laura.
Mom (Kelly Cronkhite)
[in home]
Oh, no. Dakota James, what do you think you're doing?! That's not supposed to be initiated disappointed ending here upon at the restaurants for Veggie kids, Dakota!
Pa Sour Grape Yep.
Mom (Kelly Cronkhite)
[in home]
Dakota, no, that's not a Josh, that's a Jonah!
That's how it ends?
Pa Grape Yep.
But what did Jonah learn?
The question, my friends, is not "what did Jonah learn". The question is — what did you learn?
Well, I learned that we need to help people who need help. And we need to give second chances, even if they don't deserve them. But what's that got to do with us?
Pa Grape Hey, tomato?
Huh?
Pa Grape Your friend there, the big asparagus. If I'm not mistaken, he didn't do such a good job helping you with the map.
Oh, it was a disaster! He said he was sorry and that he'd do better next time, but no way! Uh-uh! I… Oh. Mercy. I guess everyone deserves a second chance.
Pa Grape Yep. Now get out of here before crab legs get cold.
You know, that still wasn't a very good way to end a story.
Pa Grape Well, whaddya want? A big musical number?
Well, yeah!
Pa Grape Who do they think I am, Twippo?
Yes? [???]
Veggie Kids
[cheers]
TWIPPO!!
