Holden **** Jay and Silent Bob. **** them up their stupid asses.
5th most-quoted character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001): in 10 of its 134 quotes
Most scenes with: Chrissy (4), Jay (4)
Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupation are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out, "When Lord? When the **** can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! ****! When, Lord when? WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME?"
More lines from Holden
5 quotes Holden Holden Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.
Holden [quoting Chasing Amy]
"Well, look at these morose mother****ers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal..." Bong.
Holden Nothing. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies.
Holden They're not talking about you. They're talking about fictional characters. FIC-TION-AL CHAR-ACT-ORS! Am I getting through to you at all?
Scenes with Holden
4 scenes Holden If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
What buzz?
Holden The Internet buzz.
What the **** is the Internet?
Holden The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
Do they say who's ****in' playing us in the movie?
Holden No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.
Who?
Holden You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?
You mean that ****in' movie with Mork from Ork in it?
Holden Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".
Word, bitch, Phantoms like a mall****er.
So all we's gotta do is stop this ****in' movie from getting made!
Holden Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, **** ****? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that?
[Holden, Jay, and Bob look into the camera]
If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have...
Holden Uh, three by my count, but close.
Right. My bad. Three days to stop that **** movie from getting made. Come on, Silent Bob. We're going to Hollywood!
Other characters in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Chrissy
Ali Larter
Jay
Jason Mewes
Whillenholly
Chaka Luther King
Chris Rock
Justice
Shannon Elizabeth
Banky
Jason Lee
James Van Der Beek
James Van Der Beek
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon
Diedrich Bader
Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck
Brodie
Jason Lee
Jason Biggs
Jason Biggs
Brent
Seann William Scott
Chaka's Production Assistant
Jamie Kennedy
Dante Hicks
Brian O'Halloran
Randal Graves
Jeff Anderson
Sheriff
Judd Nelson
Silent Bob
Kevin Smith
Cock-Knocker
Mark Hamill
Matt Damon
Matt Damon
Missy
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith
Sissy
Eliza Dushku
Reg Hartner
Jon Stewart
Scooby Doo
Willam Black
Scott Mosier
