You're going to have that for life!
No shit!
Why would you burn him in the first place, Dunn?
'Cause it was funny...
Ape, I got a muffed-up ass butt!
I know, and you had the cutest butt ever and now you ruined it!
No, Dick Farm Dunn ruined it.
So the guys think they're coming here for a photo shoot, but little do they know we've got a shitload of bees we're gonna put through the sunroof and we've rigged the locks so they can't get out.
And when they do get out, we got some marbles waiting for them.
This is the Beehive Limo.
Oh I hate that, I hate it so bad! ****in' sucky!
Why do you hate it?
I'm bouncing in my ****in' head!
Ah... ****in' shit... what was that shit? It's ****in' in my eyes...
Oh! Oooo!
Uh... what the **** was that?
Oh my...
I ****in' don't understand... what the **** did you do to me? WHAT THE **** WAS THAT?!
Uh... are you...
You're ****in' me up man!
Let's go inside man!
Oh... **** DUDE... I... that was ****in' CRAZY!
Father, hello, Father.
You shut up, I told you to come here earlier!
I am sorry, Father.
You are late, you cannot be accepted.
I have disgraced you.
Where have you been, you little bastard?
I have been making a number two.
Oh.
Hey, can we get us some fries, please? Some time today. There you go. Take a sip. That'll put lead in your pencil, kid.
You got a light?
Shit.
Hey, little guy, is that a real cigarette?
Piss off, man.
Is it?
He said, "Piss off!"
Jesus.
Here, Gramps.
Thank you. Don't hog it all, you little prick. Give me that.
This is LA.
What?
This is LA.
Yeah? Don't do what?
We don't drink out in public.
You don't drink out in public?
No.
Well, maybe you should start, bub.
Yeah. Where are you guys from?
We're from your face.
Yeah?
Mind your own business, asshole.
What?
I said, "Mind your own business, asshole."
Okay, you'd better be quiet, buddy.
What are you gonna do?
You wanna step outside?
We're already outside, numb-nuts. He asked me if I wanted to step outside.
You are from LA, ain't you, boy?
Do you want to go around the block? Yeah, we'll go around the block. We'll go around the block and see your mother. This is bullshit. We're surrounded by ****s. All right, kid. It's time for Grandpa's massage. You get massages with happy endings? That's right. Say goodbye to the hippies. [They start walking away]
Bye, hippies.
Don't get beat up out here.
"Beat up out here"? [He follows them]
I don't have to worry about that in LA. Not with you skinny sons of bitches.
Okay, Old Man River. Watch your mouth.
I hear a lot of talking. You're letting that bulldog mouth overload that puppy-dog ass. Look at him. Look how tough he is. You allow your nine-year-old son to drink? It's my grandson. I don't give a ****.
Wow, now you swear in front of him? What kind of role model are you?
"What kind of role model are you"?!
Get the **** out of here and go back to Mississippi.
Step over this line. Just step over that line. [Man steps over line] Oh! You stepped over the line!
I didn't step over a line.
You stepped over the line. [Continues walking away with Slater] That long hair don't cover that red neck, boy.
Piss off!
Let's go. Go crawl back in your mama's ass!
I'm Johnny Knoxville, and I'm going to the moon!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
Later! [Presses the launch button, causing Johnny Knoxville and the rocket to blast off and fall into the lake]
This is the Toro Totter. It's me and Pontius vs. Dunn and Bam - and the last guy on the Totter is the winner.
It's gonna be a blood bath.
You alright?
Yeah, hold on.
What do you mean "hold on"? The bull's not gonna hold on!
Ah, my **** leg. Goddamn, these bulls are strong!
Doc, can you help us?
Uh, yeah, why not?
You crying?
Yeah.
The anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It feeds on large animals and can kill grown men within minutes. Wee-Man, probably in seconds.
Why would you say that right before we film?
This isn't the best idea ever.
Yes, it is.
What are thinking about, Preston?
I wish all of that water was gravy and all those cars were giant biscuits.
Are you hungry?
I was just saying...
Oh, all right!