Danny Butterman Pub?
Played by Nick Frost 
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Hot Fuzz (2007): in 34 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nicholas Angel (19), DS Andy Wainwright (4), DC Andy Cartwright (3)
Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
More lines from Danny Butterman
11 quotes Danny Butterman Danny Butterman What a ****.
Danny Butterman He's ****-ugly.
Danny Butterman Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone 'ahhh'?
Danny Butterman By the power of Grayskull!
Danny Butterman Forget it, Nicholas. It's Sandford.
Danny Butterman [while Nicholas is chasing a shoplifter through the supermarket, Danny is reading the taglines of the cheap action films in the half-price bin]
Supercop: Meet the cop that can't be stopped.
Danny Butterman [cue to hit the sirens and rev the engine]
Bring the noise!
Danny Butterman Yeah, Royeee!
Danny Butterman Yeah, mother****er!
Danny Butterman You're off the ****in' chain!
Scenes with Danny Butterman
22 scenes[encountering Danny Butterman, who Nicholas previously arrested for drunk driving, in uniform for the first time]
Why are you dressed as a police officer?
Danny Butterman Because I am one?
[after Nicholas has been shown around the police station]
Well, that's just about everything. Unless there's anything you're unclear about?
Yes, sir, why is everyone eating chocolate cake?
The Black Forest gatteux is on Danny as punishment for his little indiscretion.
Sir, I don't think driving under the influence can be called 'a little indiscretion.'
No, the gatteux is for misplacing his helment last week. Last night's incident will require something rather more serious.
Good.
Do you like ice cream?
I'm sorry sir, I don't follow.
Let's just say we won't be short of Chunky Monkey for the next month!
Danny Butterman Dad!
Now, since it's your first day and it's half past eleven, I'd say that's lunch.
I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright
[sarcastic]
Yeah, cause we all sell apples round here, don't we?
Danny Butterman Your dad sells apples, Andy.
And raspberries.
I bet you can't wait to jump into Sergeant Popwell's grave.
I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.
[DC Andy Wainwright drinks some of his beer, leaving a white trail over his large mostache]
You've got a moustache.
DC Andy Wainwright
I know.
Danny Butterman Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?
I've experienced my fair share, yes.
Danny Butterman You cook any fools?
Nicholas Angels
What?
Danny Butterman Did you shoot anyone?
He shot a crackhead with a Kalashnikov.
Danny Butterman [impressed]
Caw, where'd you get that?
The offender had the Kalashnikov.
Danny Butterman [impressed]
Caw, where'd he get that?
Danny Butterman What was it like bein' stabbed?
It was the single most painful experience of my life.
Danny Butterman What was the second most painful?
Danny Butterman Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
No.
Danny Butterman Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
No.
Danny Butterman Have you ever been involved in a high speed car chase?
Yes I have.
Danny Butterman Have you ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed car chase?
No!
[whilst giving a presentation to a gathering of school children]
Police work is as much about preventing crime as it is about fighting crime. Most importantly it is about procedural correctness in the exercising of unquestionable moral authority. Any questions?
Danny Butterman Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
[Angel gives Danny a filthy look]
Danny Butterman [surprised]
Mr. Treacher?
Yeah, why has he got that big coat on? He can't be cold, why the extra layer? Maybe he's trying to hide something.
Danny Butterman Mr. Treacher?
[Nicholas turns his attention to a young man in a purple track suite, who's cap is pulled down over the top of his face]
Okay, what about this guy? Why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny Butterman He's ****-ugly.
Or he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny Butterman BECAUSE he's ****-ugly.
[turning his attention to yet another suspicious character, this time a tall, muscular brute]
What's his story?
Danny Butterman Oh, that's Lurch.
Go on.
Danny Butterman He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket.
Uh-huh.
Danny Butterman Real name Michael Armstrong.
Mmm-hmm.
Danny Butterman Dad says he's got a child's mind.
Okay.
Danny Butterman He lives up Summer Street with his mum and his sister.
And are they as big as he is?
Danny Butterman Who?
The mum and the sister?
Danny Butterman Same person.
Danny Butterman [Discussing Point Break]
Have you ever seen Point Break?
No.
Danny Butterman Amazing bit in Point Break where they jump over fences.
Is there now.
Danny Butterman Patrick Swayze has just robbed this bank, and Keanu Reeves is chasin' him through peoples' gardens, and then he goes to shoot Swayze but he can't because he loves him so much and he's firin' his gun up in the air and he's like 'ahhh!'
Yep.
Danny Butterman Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone 'ahhh'?
No I have not fired my gun up in the air and gone 'ahhh'!
[Nicholas has chased down the young man in the purple track suit, named Peter Cocker, who has stolen some cookies]
You do not have to say anything, however it may harm your defence if you fail to mention when questioned something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say can be given in evidence.
Peter Cocker [Danny finally catches up to them]
Hi Danny.
Danny Butterman [gasping]
Hi Pete.
Do you know this man?
Danny Butterman Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's sister's brother's boy.
And it didn't occur to you to mention this before?
Danny Butterman Couldn't see his face, could I? Not made of eyes!
Danny Butterman What made you wanna be a policeman?
Danny Butterman What made you wanna be a policeman-officer?
I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer, except in the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog. It all started with my Uncle Derek; he was a sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode round in it every second I was awake, arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young but, it didn't stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
Danny Butterman Sounds like a good bloke.
Actually he was arrested for selling drugs to students.
Danny Butterman What a ****.
Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds. Needless to say, I never went near it again. I just let it rust. But I never forgot the sense of right and wrong I learned behind the wheel of that pedal car. I had to prove to myself that the law was proper, and righteous, and for the good of human kind.
Danny Butterman Shame.
How so?
Danny Butterman I think you'd have made a great Muppet.
Danny Butterman [preparing to watch an action movie]
Which one, Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Which one do you think I'll prefer?
Danny Butterman No, I mean which one do you want to watch first?
You are pulling my leg.
Danny Butterman Do you really think this is murder?
I just don't think we should rule it out, that's all.
[walking past them with Saxon the police dog]
I think you're talkin' a load of ol' shit.
Danny Butterman He thinks you're talkin' a load of of shit.
We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr. Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Nicolarse ass-wipe and ****stable Fanny Batterbomb.
Danny Butterman [smiling]
Hey, that's us!
Danny Butterman [after Danny accidentally shoots Doctor Hatcher on his rifle range at the church fete]
I can't believe I shot someone.
He's a doctor, he can deal with it.
Danny Butterman I've never shot anyone before.
Believe me Danny, it's not something you ever get used to.
Danny Butterman Yeah. Maybe we should go on the bouncy castle to take our minds off it.
Danny Butterman Want anything from the shop?
You've just been to the shop.
Danny Butterman Thinkin' of a different shop.
Stop! Stop this, please! Let us stop this mindless violence! Nicholas my son, you may not be a man of God, but surely you are a man of peace.
I may not be a man of god, Reverend, but I know right, and I know wrong, and I have the good grace to know which is which.
Oh... **** off, grasshopper! [produces two deringers from his robe sleeves and shoots Nicholas]
Danny Butterman NO! [shoots the Reverend]
Jesus Christ!
Danny Butterman NICHOLAS! [Nicholas looks up at him] I thought you was a goner.
DROP YOUR WEAPONS!
Danny Butterman Doctor Hatcher, no!
Shut up, Danny! I brought you into this world, I think its rather fitting that I should be the one to take you out of it. Now... drop 'em.
[Danny throws his shotgun to the ground and it fires, blowing off Hatcher's toe] OWWW!!!
You're a doctor. Deal with it.
Danny Butterman Yeah, mother****er.
Danny, let's roll.
Danny Butterman What you thinking?
Pub?
Danny Butterman How's Lurch?
He's in the freezer.
Danny Butterman Did you say 'cool off'?
No, I didn't say anything actually.
Danny Butterman Shame.
There was a bit earlier that you missed when I distracted him with a cuddly monkey, then I said 'playtime's over' and I hit him with the Peace Lily.
Danny Butterman You're off the ****in' chain!
Danny Butterman I'll drive!
SHOTGUN! PUNCH...THAT...SHIT!!!
We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr. Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Knicker-less Ass-wipe and ****-stable Fanny Butterbum.
Danny Butterman [smiling]
Hey, that's us!
Danny Butterman [The Sandford Police Service have been convinced of the truth about Inspector Frank Butterman and the NWA and are about to storm the supermarket, minus PC Bob Walker, who's holding everything down]
What you thinking?
Well...
Sgt. Tony Fisher
We should strike now, while we've got the element of surprise. Longer we wait, more time they've got to mobilize. I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place aisle by aisle. They won't be expecting that.
Very good. What he said.
Mary Porter Roy, somebody call the police!
FREEZE! [the entire Sandford Police force storm into the pub] Officers, arrest this man. Danny, step away from the sergeant.
Danny Butterman No, Dad.
Danny, you will do as you're told.
Danny Butterman I'm not taking orders from you anymore!
Wait, wait! You can arrest us if you like, you can throw us in prison and go back to being blind, submissive slaves...or you can be real police officers and help us bring an end to this absurd story!
Have you ever wondered why the crime rate in Sandford is so low, and yet the accident rate is so high?
No. Yeah. What?
You've been brainwashed, Tony. Brainwashed into naivety by an old man with a murderous obsession!
This is ridiculous!
Danny Butterman No it's not, Dad. It's all very un-ridiculous, and it's only now that I'm starting to realize how un-ridiculous it all is!
SILENCE, DANNY! Think of your mother.
Danny Butterman Mum is dead, Dad. And for the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad. If she could see what you've become, I think she'd probably kill herself all over again.
Sorry, I am completely lost.
Sandford is a lie, Doris! For the last twenty years, the village has been controlled by Frank and the NWA. They've lulled everyone into thinking this is a perfect village and killed anyone who's threatened to change that. [long pause]
I reckon he's got something there now.
Danny Butterman He says he reckons you've got something there.
I know.
You're not seriously going to believe this man, are you? ARE YOU?! HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!
Maybe...it's time to give it up, sir.
[furious]
YOU INCOMPOTENT FLAT-FOOTS! [Frank shoots down the chandelier, using the confusion to make his escape]
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon and hold everything down.
Fair Enough
Officers, let's go!
Danny Butterman What about Dad?
He'll come around again. Want anything from the shop?
Other characters in Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel
Simon Pegg
Simon Skinner
Timothy Dalton
Inspector Frank Butterman
Jim Broadbent
DC Andy Cartwright
Rafe Spall
Sergeant Tony Fisher
Kevin Eldon
DS Andy Wainwright
Paddy Considine
Joyce Cooper
Billie Whitelaw
Met Sergeant
Martin Freeman
PC Doris Thatcher
Olivia Colman
Sgt. Turner
Bill Bailey
PC Bob Walker
Karl Johnson
Reverend Phillip Shooter
Paul Freeman
Dr. Robin Hatcher
Stuart Wilson
