DS Andy Wainwright Murder, murder, murder. Change the ****in' record!
Played by Paddy Considine 
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
7th most-quoted character in Hot Fuzz (2007): in 7 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nicholas Angel (5), Danny Butterman (4), DC Andy Cartwright (4)
Scenes with DS Andy Wainwright
7 scenes DS Andy Wainwright I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright
[sarcastic]
Yeah, cause we all sell apples round here, don't we?
Your dad sells apples, Andy.
And raspberries.
DS Andy Wainwright I bet you can't wait to jump into Sergeant Popwell's grave.
I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.
[DC Andy Wainwright drinks some of his beer, leaving a white trail over his large mostache]
You've got a moustache.
DC Andy Wainwright
I know.
Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?
I've experienced my fair share, yes.
You cook any fools?
Nicholas Angels
What?
Did you shoot anyone?
DS Andy Wainwright He shot a crackhead with a Kalashnikov.
The offender had the Kalashnikov.
Everybody and their mums is packin' round here.
Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright Farmers.
Who else?
Farmers' mums.
What, just like Tim Messenger?
Yes!
DS Andy Wainwright George Merchant?
Yes!
Eve Draper?
Yes!
DS Andy Wainwright Martin Blower?
No, actually.
DS Andy Wainwright and DC Andy Cartwright
Really?
'Course he **** was! [Danny puts money in the swear box] Thank you Danny!
Murder, murder, murder. Change the ****in' record! [DS Wainwright puts money in the swear box] Thank you Andy.
Come on Sergeant, you've gotta accept that it was just another nasty accident.
What are you suggesting?! That Leslie Tiller tripped and fell on her own shears?
Seargent Tony Fisher
Ben Fletcher fell on his pitchfork the other week.
Yeah, accidents happen all the time. What makes you think it was MURDER?
BECAUSE I WAS THERE!!!
DS Andy Wainwright There's a point. Why were you there?
I was buying... Constable Butterman a Japanese peace lily for his birthday.
What absolute 'orseshit!
I chased a suspect from the scene! Innocent people don't run!
Seargent Tony Fisher
Maybe it was our ol' friend the Cactus Theif?
Oh yeah, he was a prickly customer, weren't he? Ha ha!
AM I GOING COMPLETELY MAD?!
DS Andy Wainwright Seeing how you're such a big fan of murder!
WHAT THE F--
Sergeant Angel?
YES! [calms down] Sir?
DS Andy Wainwright We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr. Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Knicker-less Ass-wipe and ****-stable Fanny Butterbum.
Mary Porter
Roy, somebody call the police!
FREEZE! [the entire Sandford Police force storm into the pub] Officers, arrest this man. Danny, step away from the sergeant.
No, Dad.
Danny, you will do as you're told.
I'm not taking orders from you anymore!
Wait, wait! You can arrest us if you like, you can throw us in prison and go back to being blind, submissive slaves...or you can be real police officers and help us bring an end to this absurd story!
DS Andy Wainwright [to Nicholas]
**** are you on about?
Have you ever wondered why the crime rate in Sandford is so low, and yet the accident rate is so high?
No. Yeah. What?
You've been brainwashed, Tony. Brainwashed into naivety by an old man with a murderous obsession!
This is ridiculous!
No it's not, Dad. It's all very un-ridiculous, and it's only now that I'm starting to realize how un-ridiculous it all is!
SILENCE, DANNY! Think of your mother.
Mum is dead, Dad. And for the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad. If she could see what you've become, I think she'd probably kill herself all over again.
Sorry, I am completely lost.
Sandford is a lie, Doris! For the last twenty years, the village has been controlled by Frank and the NWA. They've lulled everyone into thinking this is a perfect village and killed anyone who's threatened to change that. [long pause]
I reckon he's got something there now.
He says he reckons you've got something there.
I know.
You're not seriously going to believe this man, are you? ARE YOU?! HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!
DS Andy Wainwright Maybe...it's time to give it up, sir.
[furious]
YOU INCOMPOTENT FLAT-FOOTS! [Frank shoots down the chandelier, using the confusion to make his escape]
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon and hold everything down.
Fair Enough
Officers, let's go!
What about Dad?
He'll come around again. Want anything from the shop?
Other characters in Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel
Simon Pegg
Danny Butterman
Nick Frost
Simon Skinner
Timothy Dalton
Inspector Frank Butterman
Jim Broadbent
DC Andy Cartwright
Rafe Spall
Sergeant Tony Fisher
Kevin Eldon
Joyce Cooper
Billie Whitelaw
Met Sergeant
Martin Freeman
PC Doris Thatcher
Olivia Colman
Sgt. Turner
Bill Bailey
PC Bob Walker
Reverend Phillip Shooter
Dr. Robin Hatcher
Stuart Wilson
