Sgt. Tony Fisher
[upon being presented with an obvious murder scene]
So... you're saying this wasn't an accident?
Played by Kevin Eldon 
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Hot Fuzz (2007): in 8 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nicholas Angel (5), Inspector Frank Butterman (3), PC Doris Thatcher (3)
Scenes with Sergeant Tony Fisher
8 scenes Sergeant Tony Fisher Must have hit the sign at some speed. Took the whole top off.
I've had my top off in this lay-by. Ha ha!
Tits.
Sergeant Tony Fisher Most likely lost control here, left the road there, and ended up... here.
Sergeant Tony Fisher [after arresting Peter Cocker for shoplifting, he takes him back to the station]
Impressive Collar. Shame Mr. Skinner doesn't wanna press charges.
What do you mean, he doesn't wanna press charges?
[suddenly appears and starts offering the cookies that Peter stole to the police staff]
I'm simply suggesting that young Peter be given a second chance, before he becomes just another crime statistic. I'm sure he's going to learn a valuable lesson.
Sergeant Tony Fisher Stealing biscuits is... wrong?
Sergeant Tony Fisher [eagerly]
Oh, thanks!
And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?
Sergeant Tony Fisher [chuckles childishly whilst scoffing a cookie]
It's like the biscuits, isn't it? [chuckles]
Mr. Skinner--
Is everything all right?
Well sir, Mr. Skinner feels that it would be better not to prosecute an individual who has committed a blatant offence.
[whilst eating dessert]
Leave this with me. I'll make sure everyone gets their just desserts.
Music Cue
Oh no!
What, just like Tim Messenger?
Yes!
George Merchant?
Yes!
Eve Draper?
Yes!
Martin Blower?
No, actually.
DS Andy Wainwright and DC Andy Cartwright
Really?
'Course he **** was! [Danny puts money in the swear box] Thank you Danny!
Murder, murder, murder. Change the ****in' record! [DS Wainwright puts money in the swear box] Thank you Andy.
Sergeant Tony Fisher Come on Sergeant, you've gotta accept that it was just another nasty accident.
What are you suggesting?! That Leslie Tiller tripped and fell on her own shears?
Seargent Tony Fisher
Ben Fletcher fell on his pitchfork the other week.
Yeah, accidents happen all the time. What makes you think it was MURDER?
BECAUSE I WAS THERE!!!
There's a point. Why were you there?
I was buying... Constable Butterman a Japanese peace lily for his birthday.
What absolute 'orseshit!
I chased a suspect from the scene! Innocent people don't run!
Seargent Tony Fisher
Maybe it was our ol' friend the Cactus Theif?
Oh yeah, he was a prickly customer, weren't he? Ha ha!
AM I GOING COMPLETELY MAD?!
Seeing how you're such a big fan of murder!
WHAT THE F--
Sergeant Angel?
YES! [calms down] Sir?
Sgt. Tony Fisher
[after Sgt. Angel lays out a plan of action]
Very good. What he said.
Sgt. Tony Fisher
[George Merchant's House has blown up with him inside and he's been incinerated to death]
So, what do we reckon? Angel?
Huh?
Sgt. Tony Fisher
Help me.
Okay, we get a proper cordon up, we let the fire crews finish their stuff and then we get forensics in to do a thorough sweep of the house.
Sgt. Tony Fisher
Very good. What he said.
[The Sandford Police Service have been convinced of the truth about Inspector Frank Butterman and the NWA and are about to storm the supermarket, minus PC Bob Walker, who's holding everything down]
What you thinking?
Well...
Sgt. Tony Fisher
We should strike now, while we've got the element of surprise. Longer we wait, more time they've got to mobilize. I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place aisle by aisle. They won't be expecting that.
Very good. What he said.
Mary Porter
Roy, somebody call the police!
FREEZE! [the entire Sandford Police force storm into the pub] Officers, arrest this man. Danny, step away from the sergeant.
No, Dad.
Danny, you will do as you're told.
I'm not taking orders from you anymore!
Wait, wait! You can arrest us if you like, you can throw us in prison and go back to being blind, submissive slaves...or you can be real police officers and help us bring an end to this absurd story!
Have you ever wondered why the crime rate in Sandford is so low, and yet the accident rate is so high?
Sergeant Tony Fisher No. Yeah. What?
You've been brainwashed, Tony. Brainwashed into naivety by an old man with a murderous obsession!
This is ridiculous!
No it's not, Dad. It's all very un-ridiculous, and it's only now that I'm starting to realize how un-ridiculous it all is!
SILENCE, DANNY! Think of your mother.
Mum is dead, Dad. And for the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad. If she could see what you've become, I think she'd probably kill herself all over again.
Sorry, I am completely lost.
Sandford is a lie, Doris! For the last twenty years, the village has been controlled by Frank and the NWA. They've lulled everyone into thinking this is a perfect village and killed anyone who's threatened to change that. [long pause]
I reckon he's got something there now.
He says he reckons you've got something there.
I know.
You're not seriously going to believe this man, are you? ARE YOU?! HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!
Maybe...it's time to give it up, sir.
[furious]
YOU INCOMPOTENT FLAT-FOOTS! [Frank shoots down the chandelier, using the confusion to make his escape]
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon and hold everything down.
Fair Enough
Officers, let's go!
What about Dad?
He'll come around again. Want anything from the shop?
Other characters in Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel
Simon Pegg
Danny Butterman
Nick Frost
Simon Skinner
Timothy Dalton
Inspector Frank Butterman
Jim Broadbent
DC Andy Cartwright
Rafe Spall
DS Andy Wainwright
Paddy Considine
Joyce Cooper
Billie Whitelaw
Met Sergeant
Martin Freeman
PC Doris Thatcher
Olivia Colman
Sgt. Turner
Bill Bailey
PC Bob Walker
Reverend Phillip Shooter
Dr. Robin Hatcher
Stuart Wilson