Met Sergeant You have to come back. The figures have gone a bit... squiffy in your absence, it has to be said.
Played by Martin Freeman 
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Tied for 8th most-quoted character in Hot Fuzz (2007): in 5 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nicholas Angel (4)
Scenes with Met Sergeant
5 scenes Met Sergeant Met Sergeant Hello, Nicholas.
Hello, Sergeant.
Met Sergeant How's the hand?
Still a bit stiff.
Met Sergeant It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job, that's what I did.
I like to think my office is out on the street.
Met Sergeant Indeed you do. Your arrest record is 400% higher than any other officer, which is high time such skills were put to better use. We're making you Sergeant.
I see. Where?
Met Sergeant In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
But that's... in the country?
Met Sergeant Yes! Lovely.
Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?
Met Sergeant No.
Can I remain here as a PC?
Met Sergeant No.
Do I have any choice in this?
Met Sergeant No!
Sergeant, I kinda like it here.
Met Sergeant Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.
In twenty years or so, yes.
Met Sergeant Well done you.
Chief Inspector
I know what you're going to say, Nicholas, but the fact is you've been making us all look bad.
I'm sorry, sir?
Chief Inspector
Of course, we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.
Met Inspector
It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
Met Sergeant You can't be the Sheriff of London.
Chief Inspector
If we let you carry on running around town, you'll continue to be exceptional... and we can't have that. You'll put us all out of a job.
With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector
Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account... and that's what the team is gonna make of this!
[Nicholas gets up and storms out, only to see all of his colleagues happily standing underneath a banner reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']
Met Inspector
(sliding into the desk, next to the Met Sergeant)
Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
It's still a bit stiff.
Met Inspector
And how are things at home?
I'm sorry, sir?
Met Inspector
(jovially)
How's Janine?
Met Inspector
Right, well, then where are you living?
Met Sergeant (leans over to Met Inspector; quietly)
He's staying at the Section House, sir.
Met Inspector
With the recruits?
Met Sergeant (looks into Nicholas's eyes)
Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.
Met Inspector
Well then, you're packed already. Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing position with a delightful cottage in a lovely little place that has I think has won Village of the Year...I don't know how many times. It'll be good for you.
Met Inspector
"Yes"?
Met Sergeant (arrogantly)
"Yes, thank you"? (He laughs briefly.)
(Nicholas says nothing. The Met Inspector and Met Sergeant are grinning at him.) (shakes his head slowly)
No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...
Met Inspector
You want to...take this higher? (points up)
Met Inspector
You want me to bother the Chief Inspector about this? [indicates the phone]
Yes.
Met Inspector
You want me to get the Chief Inspector to come all the way down here?
Yes, I do.
Met Inspector
Okay. [shrugs reluctantly, reaches for the desk phone, then shouts, off to his right] Kenneth!
[The Chief Inspector immediately enters from a sliding glass door, to the left of Nicholas and to the right of the Met Sergeant and Met Inspector.]
Chief Inspector
What do you say, Nicholas?
Met Inspector
We have been trying to reach you for days.
Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy.
Met Sergeant We need you back. The figures have gone a little squiffy in your absence, it has to be said.
Chief Inspector
Come back to London. Sandford’s hardly a fitting place for such an exceptional officer.
Yeah. Well, the thing is, sir... [looks back at the model village] I kind of like it here. Besides, we have to do a considerable amount of paperwork.
Other characters in Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel
Simon Pegg
Danny Butterman
Nick Frost
Simon Skinner
Timothy Dalton
Inspector Frank Butterman
Jim Broadbent
DC Andy Cartwright
Rafe Spall
Sergeant Tony Fisher
Kevin Eldon
DS Andy Wainwright
Paddy Considine
Joyce Cooper
Billie Whitelaw
PC Doris Thatcher
Olivia Colman
Sgt. Turner
Bill Bailey
PC Bob Walker
Reverend Phillip Shooter
Dr. Robin Hatcher
Stuart Wilson
