Joyce Cooper It would appear the heavens have opened.
Played by Billie Whitelaw 
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Hot Fuzz (2007) · 111 quotes
Tied for 8th most-quoted character in Hot Fuzz (2007): in 5 of its 111 quotes
Most scenes with: Nicholas Angel (3)
Scenes with Joyce Cooper
5 scenes Joyce Cooper Joyce Cooper I hope you had a pleasant trip-- fascist!
Joyce Cooper [appears from behind a car during the climatic shootout, moments before firing a machine gun at Angel]
FASCIST!
Joyce Cooper I'm Joyce Cooper, and I trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist!
I beg your pardon?
Joyce Cooper [indicating her crossword]
"System of government, characterised by extreme dictatorship," Seven across.
Oh, I see. It's "Fascism."
Joyce Cooper "Fascism?" Wonderful. [checking her register] Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite. Bernard will escort you there.
[Nicholas glances at the sleeping Bernard]
Well, actually, uh, I could probably make my own way up. Hag!
Joyce Cooper [looking up]
I beg your pardon?
[indicating the crossword]
"Evil old woman, considered frightful or ugly". It's twelve down.
Joyce Cooper Oh! Bless you.
Joyce Cooper Now, quick announcement before we begin. Janet Barker has decided to call her boys Roger and Martin. And the christening will be a week on Saturday and we're all invited. Tom.
Tom Weaver
Thanks, Joyce. Now, you'll all be delighted to hear that the tenacious Sergeant Angel has been taken care of. Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying on the wet floor of his bathroom, having slipped and tragically broken his neck. So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant, we will now be able to concentrate on the eradication of our hoodie infestation.
Quite right.
Tom Weaver
After which, nothing will stand in our way.
Oh, I beg to differ, Mister Weaver.
Tom Weaver
Well, well, well, I see, we have visitors.
Sergeant Nicholas Angel. Sandford Police Service.
My, he is tenacious isn't he?
[revealing himself to the NWA]
I'm arresting you under suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder.
Tom Weaver
Oh come, come Sergeant!
You should be ashamed! Calling yourself "a community that cares"!
Oh, but we do care Nicholas!
Joyce Cooper It's all about the greater good!
NWA Members
[echoing in agreement]
The greater good...
How can this be for the greater good?
NWA Members
[echoing]
The greater good...
You see, much as I enjoyed your wild theories, Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being... an appalling actor.
NWA Members
[echoing]
Appalling...
You murdered him for that?
Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare.
What? ...Oh.
James Reaper
The dramatic society is an important feather in our cap.
We couldn't let Blower jeopardize that. Not when we had two semi-professionals waiting in the wings.
Let's not forget that Greg was an extra in Straw Dogs and Sherry portrayed a cadaver in Prime Suspect.
Yes, I know!
Annette Roper
Martin Blower was less concerned with the reputation of the village than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper!
And so Eve deserved to die too?
Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.
NWA Members
[echoing]
Annoying...
And George Merchant?
He had an awful house.
NWA Members
[echoing]
Awful...
Roy Porter
We begged him in vain to make his residence more in keeping with the village's rustic aesthetic.
And what about Tim Messenger? What was his crime?
Tim Messenger's tenure as editor of the "Sandford Citizen" has been unbearable!
James Reaper
Our once great paper had become riddled with tabloid journalism, not to mention persistent errors!
Roy Porter
He listed her age as 55!
Mary Porter
When actually I'm 53!
What about Leslie Tiller, one of your own? Her horticultural expertise helped put Sandford on the map!
Joyce Cooper Oh, she was ever so good.
Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame...but it seems she was set on moving away.
Tom Weaver
We couldn't have her sharing her green fingers with anyone else...
Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey!
If we can't have her, no one can.
How can this be for the greater good?
NWA Members
[echoing]
The greater good...
SHUT IT! These people died for no reason! No reason whatsoever!
I wouldn't say that. [Nicholas turns to see Frank dressed in the Policeman's uniform from the office at the station and is horrified] Hello Nicholas. I was like you once. I believed in the immutable word of the law, that is until the night Mrs. Butterman was taken from me. You see, no one loved Sandford more than her. She was head of the Women's Institute, chair of the Floral Committee. When they started the Village of the Year Contest, she worked around the clock. I'd never seen such dedication. On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travelers moved into Calahoon Park, and before you could say 'gypsy scum' we were knee deep in dog muck, thieving kids and crusty jugglers.
NWA Members
[echoing]
Crusty jugglers...
We lost the title, and Irene lost her mind. She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sandford Gorge. From that moment on, I swore that I would do her proud and whatever the cost, we would make Sandford great again.
Sir, this doesn't make any sense.
The adjudicators arrive tomorrow. We had to get everything ready.
This is the Best Village, Nicholas. You've seen the people. They're happy. Contented.
They're living in a dream world!
Sergeant Popwell thought much the same as you. I'm disappointed you can't see the bigger picture.
Well I'm happy to disappoint you, sir! And I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me. You are all going to have to come with me.
No Nicholas, I'm afraid it is you who is going to have to come with us...
Other characters in Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel
Simon Pegg
Danny Butterman
Nick Frost
Simon Skinner
Timothy Dalton
Inspector Frank Butterman
Jim Broadbent
DC Andy Cartwright
Rafe Spall
Sergeant Tony Fisher
Kevin Eldon
DS Andy Wainwright
Paddy Considine
Met Sergeant
Martin Freeman
PC Doris Thatcher
Olivia Colman
Sgt. Turner
Bill Bailey
PC Bob Walker
Reverend Phillip Shooter
Dr. Robin Hatcher
Stuart Wilson
