Andrew Knightley
[whilst debating what to call the blanks]
Nothing suggested in the last three minutes has been better than 'smashy smashy egg man'.
Played by Nick Frost 
The World's End (2013) · 26 quotes
The World's End (2013) · 26 quotes
How can you tell if you're drunk if you're never sober?
More lines from Andrew Knightley
3 quotes Andrew Knightley
Andrew Knightley
[Facing an army of blanks] (Tearing open his Shirt like the Hulk)
UUUGHGH!!! I **** HATE THIS TOWN!
Andrew Knightley
[repeated line to Gary]
It's pointless arguing with you.
Scenes with Andrew Knightley
9 scenes
Gary King
We had ourselves a little idea.
Andrew Knightley
Did you now?
Gary King
Yeah, we're gonna go back to Newton Haven.
Andrew Knightley
Why?
Gary King
For some unfinished business.
Andrew Knightley
...That's a joke right?
Gary King
Five guys? Twelve Pubs? Fifty pints?
Andrew Knightley
Sixty pints.
Gary King
[Laughing]
Oh hoo, steady on, you **** alky!
Andrew Knightley
I haven't had a drink for 16 years, Gary.
Gary King
You must be thirsty then. We can go back, see the guys, chew the fat, and it will be just like it always was, except this time, we are gonna finish this thing once and for all.
Andrew Knightley
You have a very selective memory, Gary.
Gary King
Thanks.
Andrew Knightley
You remember the Friday nights. I remember the Monday mornings.
Gary King
Yeah, that's why we're going back on a Friday! [Makes silly face]
Andrew Knightley
Why do you think none of us live in Newton Haven anymore?
Gary King
I dunno...
Andrew Knightley
Because it is a black hole. It's boring. It always was, and it always will be!
Gary King
It's only boring 'cause we're not there!
Andrew Knightley
It's pointless arguing with you.
Gary King
Exactly! So come!
Gary King
And we're back! Just like the five musketeers!
Steven Prince
Three musketeers wasn't it?
Peter Page
Four, if you count d'Artagnan.
Gary King
Well, nobody knows how many there were, really, do they, Pete? I mean, history is a sketchbook.
Oliver Chamberlain
You do know that "The Three Musketeers" was a fiction, right? Written by Alexandre Dumas?
Gary King
A lot of people are saying that about the Bible these days.
Steven Prince
What, that it was written by Alexandre Dumas?
Gary King
Don't be daft, Steve! It was written by Jesus! Anyway, five sounds much better. I think they missed a trick only having three, 'cos if they'd had five, then two could have died, and they'd still have three left!
Andrew Knightley
Are we there yet?
Gary King
Let's do this!
Steven Prince
Wow, you really have a selective memory, don't you?
Gary King
Somebody else was saying that!
Andrew Knightley
Me.
Gary King
No, I would have remembered.
Steven Prince
We need to be able to differentiate between them, them and us.
Peter Page
Yeah, I think the pronouns are really confusing.
Gary King
I don't even know what a pronoun is.
Oliver Chamberlain
Well, it's a word that can function by itself as a noun which refers to something else in the discourse.
Gary King
I don't get it.
Andrew Knightley
You just used one.
Gary King
Did I?
Andrew Knightley
"It", it's a pronoun.
Gary King
What is?
Andrew Knightley
It!
Gary King
Is it?
Andrew Knightley
Christ!
Sam Chamberlain
Andy, what's happening?
Andrew Knightley
Gary thinks we should keep up with the crawl because they know what they're doing, but they don't know that we know what they're doing, and basically no one else has a better idea, so **** it.
Gary King
Jesus, I do something right for a change, and you ****ers get on my case!
Andrew Knightley
Wow, that is the first time I've ever heard you admit being wrong!
Gary King
I said I did something right!
Steven Prince
Yeah, "for a change"!
Gary King
So?
Andrew Knightley
Meaning the rest of the time, you're wrong?
Gary King
Not necessarily. [Everyone groans in annoyance]
Gary King
If I'm not me, then how do I know that carved into that beam above your head are the words "King Gary"?
Andrew Knightley
[looking into the beam]
But it doesn't say "King Gary".
Gary King
Yes it does!...Doesn't it?
Andrew Knightley
No...it says "King Gay".
Gary King
[annoyed]
Well...some **** scrubbed out the "r"!
Steven Prince
[laughing]
That was me.
Gary King
Why?
Peter Page
[s****]
King Gay!
Andrew Knightley
[Gary prepares to drink his final beer at the World's End, until Andy knocks it out of his hand]
You've had enough!
Gary King
This is The World's End, man!
Andrew Knightley
I know! [the two fight and Gary falls to the ground]
Gary King
Leave me alone, what do you care, anyway?!
Andrew Knightley
Of course I **** care! There is a reason I'm angry at you!
Gary King
I know why you're angry at me, okay, but it's not my fault that you crashed that car!
Andrew Knightley
That's not the point! You let me down, man. You were Gary King. Gary **** King! I would have followed you to the end! I **** have!
Gary King
[angry]
Well then stop following me! [Gary kicks Andy in the groin and runs for the bar. Andy grabs him and they brawl] It's just one more! Let me have this! You've got everything you want!
Andrew Knightley
What are you talking about?!
Gary King
You've got your perfect job and your perfect house and your perfect wife!
Andrew Knightley
You think it's so perfect?! She left me, Gary. She took the kids to her mum's three weeks ago. Said I'm not present enough. I am trying to win her back- God knows I am losing- but I will continue to fight, because that is how we survive! For ****'s sake, Gary, I just punched my wedding ring out of a robot's tummy!
Gary King
Exactly! You, you fight for what's important!
Andrew Knightley
And what is so important about the Golden Mile?!
Gary King
IT'S ALL I'VE GOT!
Andrew Knightley
[The pair fight on until Andy exposes Gary's wrists and sees they are bandaged, realizing Gary has attempted suicide]
You need help, Gary.
Gary King
I got help. You know what "help" was? Help was a lot of people sitting in a circle talking about how ****in' awful things had got. That is not my idea of a good time.
Andrew Knightley
And this is?!
Gary King
They told me when to go to bed! ME!
Andrew Knightley
Gary, mate... How can you tell when you're drunk if you're never sober?
Gary King
[angry and upset]
I don't want to be sober! It never got better than that night! That was supposed to be the beginning of my life! All that promise and **** optimism... That feeling like we could take on the whole universe! It was all a big lie. Nothing happened.
Andrew Knightley
You don't need to do this, Gary.
Gary King
Yeah, I do.
Gary King
[after rejecting eternal youth from the Network]
There's only one Gary King!
The Network
Then you have made your choice, Gary King of the humans!
Gary King
Yeah I have! Because, frankly, who the **** are you to come down here and tell us what to do?!
The Network
We are the Network! And we are here for your betterment! In the last 23 years, have you not marveled as information technology has surged forward?
Gary King
No.
The Network
Earth has grown smaller, yet greater as connectivity has grown! This is our doing! And it is just the beginning!
Gary King
Ohhh **** off you big lamp!
The Network
You are children, and you require guidance! There is no room for imperfection!
Gary King
Hey, Earth isn't perfect, all right? And humans aren't perfect, and guess what? I ain't perfect!
The Network
Therein lies the necessity of this intervention, must the galaxy be subjected to an entire planet of people like you?
Andrew Knightley
Whoah, whoah...whoah whoah whoah whoah whoah...who put you in charge, huh? Who are you to criticize anyone? You may think Gary is a bit of a ****, and he is a bit of a ****, but he's MY ****!
Gary King
Oh thanks, mate.
The Network
But he is a detriment to himself just as Earth is a detriment to the galaxy!
Andrew Knightley
What did you say?
The Network
You act out the same cycles of self-destruction again, and again! At this point, your planet is the least civilized in the entire galaxy!
Gary King
What did he say?
Andrew Knightley
He's saying we're a bunch of ****-ups!
Gary King
HEY! It is our basic human right to be ****-ups! This civilization was founded on ****-ups and you know what? That makes me proud!
Andrew Knightley
Yeah! And me!
Gary King
What is it they say? "To err is..."
Andrew Knightley
"To err is human."
Gary King
"To err is human!" So...errr...!
The Network
We do not believe you speak for all humanity! You are but two men! Two DRUNK men!
Steven Prince
[enters from above]
THREE drunk men!
Gary and Andrew
Stevey-baby! [all laughing]
The Network
ENOUGH! ENOUGH, HUMANS!
Gary King
Oh, you are in trouble now! It's only the **** three musketeers!
The Network
You are revolting against the wisdom of countless solar systems!
Gary King
Yeah, we are revolting!
Andrew Knightley
Wait, you just said you're not here to conquer! Can I just ask, how many people did you have to replace in Newton Haven?
The Network
That is irrelevant.
Andrew Knightley
Is it? [to the blank congregation] Hands up! Who here is human?!
Man 1
I'm human.
Gary King
One!
Man 2
And me.
Gary King
That's two!
Basil
I am, but I don't know for how long.
Gary, Andrew, & Steven
Basil!
Basil
Shh! [disappears]
Steven Prince
So what's that, three?
Andrew Knightley
You had to replace an entire town?
The Network
Not the entire town.
Gary King
Well everybody apart from old Nutball, and the shifty twins!
Steven Prince
That's a good name for a band, Gary, you should write that down!
Gary King
I will!
Andrew Knightley
What about all the ones you replaced, like Peter and Oliver?
Steven Prince
Yeah! What happened to the empties?!
Basil
[offscreen]
I told you not to ask that!
The Network
Redundant vessels are recycled, mulched and converted into fertilizer where upon they are returned to the earth to promote verdancy and growth. It is a highly efficient means of organic renewal!
Gary King
Mulched?!
The Network
It is a relative few in light of our long-term plan!
Steven Prince
You mean a few hundred thousand turned to **** compost!
Andrew Knightley
Well what about the other places? The penetration points! [Gary makes a sex motion with his finger] Are they as successful as Newton Haven? Because I'm guessing we're not the only glitch in your system!
The Network
It is true, the Network has been experiencing some difficulties.
Gary King
I think you bit off more than you can chew with Earth, mate!
Andrew Knightley
Yeah because we are more belligerent, more stubborn, and more idiotic than you can possibly imagine! I am not just talking about Gary!
Gary King
Yeah, there's more than one Gary King!
Network
But you said-
Gary King
I **** KNOW WHAT I **** SAID!
The Network
YOUR RELIANCE ON PROFANITY IS A MEASURE OF YOUR IMMATURITY AS A MAN AND AS A SPECIES!
Gary King
Why don't you just get in your rocket and **** off back to Legoland, you ****s!
Steven Prince
Yeah! Stop **** Starbucking us man!
Gary King
Yeah!
The Network
It is our duty to challenge you!
Gary King
Just leave us to our own devices, you intergalactic arseholes!
The Network
You misunderstand!
Gary King
Shut up!
The Network
We are trying-
Gary King
Nobody's listening!!
The Network
If you'd only-!
Gary King
FACE IT! We are the human race, and we don't like being told what to do!
The Network
[pause]
Just what is it you want to do?!
Gary King
We wanna be free!
Andrew Knightley
Yeah!
Gary King
We wanna be free to do what we wanna do!
Andrew Knightley
Yeah.
Gary King
We wanna get loaded!
Steven Prince
Yeah!
Gary King
And we wanna have a good time! And that's what we're gonna do!
The Network
[pause]
It's pointless arguing with you... [Begins shutting down] You will be left to your own devices.
Gary King
Really?
The Network
Yeah...**** it. [Shuts down]
