Josh Birnbaum, step on up! Get on the scale, son! All right! [high-fives Josh]
Tony Perkis Jr
Ben Stiller · 22 quotes
Lars
Tom Hodges · 13 quotes
Gerry
Aaron Schwartz · 8 quotes
Josh
Shaun Weiss · 6 quotes
Roy
Kenan Thompson · 5 quotes
Pat
Tom McGowan · 4 quotes
Julie
Leah Lail · 3 quotes
Nicholas
David Goldman · 2 quotes
Sam
Joseph Wayne Miller · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Tony Perkis Jr & Josh (3), Josh & Gerry (2), Gerry & Roy (2)
Heavyweights quotes
Page 2 of 4[introducing himself to camp audience]
Can you smell it? There's a life force in here tonight. Do you feel it? Hmm? I look around this room, and I see potential.
[over the loudspeakers]
Time to wake up, campers! Today is evaluation day. The key word here is 'value.' Do you have any? Not yet! But before summer's over, this camp's gonna be filled with skinny winners!
"Skinny weiners?" You hear that, guys?
[all the boys laugh]
The candy belongs to Seymour Butts.
Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? WHO'S SEYMOUR BUTTS?!!
Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!
You picked the wrong man to mess with.
Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!
Now let's play a game to help us learn each other's names.
"Lars? What kind of name is that? Where you from?"
"... Far away."
[gulps heavily]
"Kids: at age twelve, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk. Pounds are gonna fly, and fat is..... outta here, mister! And we're gonna do it TOGETHER!"
"Oh, my, god."
Kid
(Tony runs down aisle high-fiving unwilling kids)
"I wanna go home!"
"Step on the scale!"
"Alrighty."
"Step off the scale."
Anybody who brings candy to this camp isn't your friend. He's a destroyer.
Attention campers, the topic for tonight's discussion is, "Liposuction: Option or Obsession."
Attention Campers; Lunch has been canceled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.
Being an only child, educated entirely by private tutors my whole life, I'm looking forward to interacting with children for the first time.
Come on... you devil log!
Good morning, Campers. Today is evaluation day. The key word here is value. Do you have any? Not yet. But by the time camp is over, you will all be a bunch of skinny winners.
HEY, DON'T PEE IN THE WAHTER! Don't drink the wahter, he peed in it!