Heavyweights quotes

26 total quotes

Lars
Others
Tony Perkis Jr

View Quote "Congratulations, Mr. Simms. You are the fattest boy in camp."

View Quote "Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.

View Quote "Do it to it, Lars!"

View Quote "Smellman"

View Quote Josh: The candy belongs to Seymour Butts.
Tony: Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? WHO'S SEYMOUR BUTTS?!!
Josh: Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!
Tony: You picked the wrong man to mess with.
Josh: Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!

View Quote Lars: Now let's play a game to help us learn each other's names.
Josh: (Making fun of Lars accent) Ve already know each odder's names.

View Quote Roy: "Lars? What kind of name is that? Where you from?"
Lars: "... Far away."
Roy: [gulps heavily]

View Quote Tony: "Kids: at age twelve, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk. Pounds are gonna fly, and fat is..... outta here, mister! And we're gonna do it TOGETHER!"
Josh: "Oh, my, god."
(Tony runs down aisle high-fiving unwilling kids)
Kid: "I wanna go home!"

View Quote Tony: "Step on the scale!"
Josh: "Alrighty."
Tony: "Step off the scale."

View Quote Anybody who brings candy to this camp isn't your friend. He's a destroyer.

View Quote Attention Campers; Lunch has been canceled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.

View Quote Being an only child, educated entirely by private tutors my whole life, I'm looking forward to interacting with children for the first time.

View Quote Come on... you devil log!

View Quote Good morning, Campers. Today is evaluation day. The key word here is value. Do you have any? Not yet. But by the time camp is over, you will all be a bunch of skinny winners.

View Quote HEY, DON'T PEE IN THE WAHTER! Don't drink the wahter, he peed in it!