"Congratulations, Mr. Simms. You are the fattest boy in camp."
Tony Perkis Jr
Ben Stiller · 22 quotes
Lars
Tom Hodges · 13 quotes
Gerry
Aaron Schwartz · 8 quotes
Josh
Shaun Weiss · 6 quotes
Roy
Kenan Thompson · 5 quotes
Pat
Tom McGowan · 4 quotes
Julie
Leah Lail · 3 quotes
Nicholas
David Goldman · 2 quotes
Sam
Joseph Wayne Miller · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Tony Perkis Jr & Josh (3), Josh & Gerry (2), Gerry & Roy (2)
Heavyweights quotes
Page 1 of 4"Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.
"Do it to it, Lars!"
"Smellman"
Alice Bushkin Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope.
Harvey Bushkin [the whole crowd is in disbelief]
Sometimes, in life, things don't work out the way you planned, and in those situations, sometimes you file chapter 9 bankruptcy. [struggling to get his voice] We worked our whole life, and what do we have to show? Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! [sobs]
Alice Bushkin Harvey, please stop. [to the crowd] Okay, kids, out with the old, and in with the new. [sobbing and gasps can be heard in audience] Now, your new owner is gonna introduce himself in a minute. But, you know what I would like? Please, could you give us just one more Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?
Crowd
[in a somber tone]
Hiya.
Alice Bushkin God bless all of you.
Harvey Bushkin [pair walks away. Harvey comes back to the mic to say one last thing]
One word of advice, NEVER LET ANYONE SIGN YOUR CHECKS!
Don't tell anyone, but I uh…snuck in some Oreos. Just in case.
That was very sneaky of you, Gerry. Chipmunks! Download! Now!
[Gerry looks around as the campers stockpile candy in hiding places]
It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? No way! I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!
Mrs. Garner
Gerry!
Roger Johnson
Now that's not kind, Gerry.
Maury Garner We're doing this for your own good. We gotta nip this thing in the bud.
I'm fine. This is a joke, right?
[parents and Roger shake their heads no] [to his dad]
You're fatter than I am, why don't you go to the camp?
Mrs. Garner
You show your father some respect.
Maury Garner [to Roger]
First I think we should have a little pow-wow, and then we will call you with our decision.
I'll give you my decision right now. I'm not going.
[cut to a jetliner taking off]
Lars, shouldn’t you be watching the kids?
I have them on the "body" system.
The "body" system?
Yeah, the body system.
Boys
[holding hands]
BUDDY!
BODY!
Boys
BUDDY!
BODY!
Boys
BUDDY!
Oh! 'Buddy'!
Oh my gosh... is that Tim?
Tim [dancing around the bonfire, shirtless and covered in chocolate sauce, and chowing down on a bag of marshmallows]
WHOOOOO!
..He looks like a human S'more.
Dawson Shut up! Hey Lars, guess what? We're in charge now. You know what we found out? We found out that if you don't have a job, you get deported! So Lars, buddy, you with us, or against us?
I'm with you.
Just go!
And what did we learn today?
Gerry, I'm just so tired of being the fat guy.
I know, Pat, but you don't want to be those guys. They're jerks, forget them.
[stands up and yells]
Yeah, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WASHBOARD STOMACHS, AND YOUR OILY MUSCLES, I DON'T *WANT* THEM!
Funny, Josh. But really man, what happened? Talk to us.
Oh man. Oh geez.
Josh…now…good.
Good? Wha...what do you mean?
Must be...
Headed to fat camp?
No...why do you say that?
'Cause you’re fat. [points to man seated beside Gerry] That your dad?
No...w-why do you say that?
'Cause he's fat too!
Well, so are you.
I know, that's why I'm going to fat camp. I'm Roy.
I'm Gerry. Yeah, I guess I am going.
I knew it! And that's your dad too, right?
Hell no!
Well you're gonna love camp, man. Camp is awesome. Plus, nobody picks on you because YOU’RE not the fat kid, EVERYBODY'S the fat kid. Just stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man!