Most scenes together: Kumar Patel & Harold Lee (20), Kumar Patel & Neil Patrick Harris (3), Kumar Patel & Freakshow (2)
Dr. Willoughby Do you actually believe that after the way you've just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?
No. I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
Dr. Willoughby But you have perfect MCAT scores!
Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.
Dude, that was so not extreme!
Cole I know, Extreme Sports Punk Number One.
What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Shit! Shit!
I most certainly did not!
Yes you did!
Did not!
Yes you did!
Oh, no, I didn't.
You did, you did.
You sure?
You said it!
Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching "The Gift". Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl, and I'm gonna see her boobs.
The things I would eat out of her ass--you have no idea!
Argh! That is a completely vulgar statement.
So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true.
Touch?.
...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
What is that? Some fortune cookie?
Both.
Are those my scissors?! Dude, I trim my noise hair with those.
Dude, I have been cutting my ass hair with them for the past six months.
Back off **** boy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D. **** boy? You just call me **** boy?
Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling 'cause you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D. You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough! **** boy! (raises index finger in sad attempt to flip Harold off)
Did Doogie Howser just steal my **** car?
Yes. I think he did.
Dude, I thought Neil Patrick Harris was a stand up guy! How was I supposed to know he'd **** us over?
Do you know the show Doogie Howser, M.D.?
Great show. God I love that show. Doogie.
Neil Patrick Harris stole my car tonight.
Hey! NPH wouldn't do that!
Dude, we're so high right now!
We're not low!
Dude, where's my car?
Where's his car, dude?
I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man.
Dude, ****in' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.
I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes.
I want the same except make mine diet cokes, Chuck.
I want that.
What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
We gotta go to White Castle.
Yes! Yes! I knew you had it in you dude!
