[Frank turns on the camera and the TV screen shows a photo of Rodrick pouring soda in a cup fountain with his party friends watching and is surprised]
Oh my God.
[turns to Rodrick, curious]
Rodrick, can you explain what you're doing in this photo?
Okay. How 'bout these? [scrolls through his camera showing more photos of Rodrick's house party; Susan is shocked and horrified as she puts her hand over her heart; then sets the camera down as it stops on the last photo of Greg and Rowley; angrily to Rodrick] I can't believe that you had a PARTY!
Greg, you told me it was a couple of kids, a band rehearsal!
Wait, Susan, you knew about this?
[shocked, to Greg]
Wha...? You told Mom?!
It slipped out, but I took it back!
My instincts told me you weren't being honest! I should've trusted my instincts!
Wait! You knew about this, but you didn't tell me about it?
I still protected you! I threw Mom off your scent!
Great job. She has no idea!
We are supposed to be a team against them!
They were getting along so well I let it blind me to the truth!
Why were you taking pictures?!
It was so crazy that morning, I forgot we took the pictures.
So I let it slide. And I am so sorry. Oh, God. It feels so good to get that out. [points to the bathroom door] I haven't been able to look at that bathroom door for 2 weeks!
I knew that door had a lock on it! And everybody was trying to make me feel like I was losing my mind!
Mr. Salz [Mr. Salz & Mrs. Kohan walk to the front door, about to leave]
We’re- We’re just gonna let ourselves out. I wouldn’t wanna write a column about this. [closes the door]
I'm going upstairs. To a bathroom that has a lock on it, and no one can tell me that it doesn't. [walks away]
[to her sons]
I have to go talk to your father. [sighs] I will deal with you boys, later. [walks off]
Rodrick, I really didn't tell her! I mean maybe, sort of, but I made a deal with her and we had a really good time and...
You're my brother. But you'll never be my friend. [walks upstairs]
[Greg opens his Xbox 360 game system to put a video game in, and finds a huge chocolate chip cookie stuffed in the disc tray]
WHAT?!!
Manny, what have you done?
[walks in]
What's going on? What'd you do to him?
Nothing, he ruined my video game.
[gasps]
He didn't anything on purpose, did you honey?
No, he didn't. He's only three.
I'm onwy thwee.
[Manny pokes his tongue out at Greg as Susan takes him away]
[Plainview Talent Show, The Heffleys walk in; Scotty Douglas, Rowley's assistant, runs through the hall to the bathroom] [chases after Scotty]
Scotty! Come on! [Scotty locks himself into the bathroom] Scotty, come on! You don't wanna let the magic fans down, do you?
Scotty [from inside]
Go away!
My assistant, Scotty, got stage fright. Now he doesn't want to do the show.
Maybe Greg would help out. He can be your assistant. What? No way.
What? Rowley is your best friend. This is important to him. You need to do this.
It's okay, Mrs. Heffley. Greg is just afraid that Holly Hills will think less of him.
[defensive]
Rowley. [turns to Susan] Mom, can we talk in private?
[desperate]
Scotty, please.
[Rodrick pulls up in front of Greg and Rowley in his van]
Get in.
Why? What are you doing here?
Mom said she'd pay "Mom Bucks" if I drove you home from school. [he and his friend laugh and high-five]
Get in. Now! [gets out and opens the back door for Greg and Rowley. Greg immediately notices that the back seats are gone]
What happened to the seats?
: Oh, I needed the room for my new equipment.
[Greg and Rowley hop into the van]
How'd you have the money for that?
Oh, you know..."Mom Bucks". [shuts the door]
There's no way. You only earned like... five.
GA Greg and Rowley
[As Greg and Rowley sit down on the floor, Rodrick starts the van and floors it] [screaming]
WHHHHHOOOOOOA!!! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!!!!!!!!
[The Heffley family in their cartoon drawings pull up in their car in the Rocket Rollers Roller Rink's parking lot] [steps out, looks up at the sign]
Seventh grader. Sounds a lot better than sixth grader.
[steps out of the car and closes the door; sighs]
This is a "Greg thing." I don't see why I had to come.
Because, Rodrick, this is a family event, and like it or not, you're part of the Heffley family.
Yeah. That and we already paid for your ticket.
[The Leisure Village Retirement Community, Frank pulls up in front of the entrance, leaving Greg and Rodrick there, where their grandfather comes to see them, mostly Greg] [narrating]
Things have never been worse. Our parents are super mad at us, so we have to spend the weekend at my Grandpa's boring retirement community. Holly Hills thinks I'm Fregley, and my relationship with Rodrick is at an all-time low. So, he's made it his mission to ruin my life. [walks with Rodrick and their grandfather towards his retirement hotel room, Rodrick kicks him from behind him, still sore about his punishment, angrily turns to Rodrick] Quit it!
[annoyed]
Why don't you tell Mom? You're good at that.
[narrating]
Grandpa doesn't like TV. Instead, he prefers to watch the lobby on the security channel.
I should be rehearsing right now.
Please, Grandpa. Please, can we watch a real TV show now?
Grandpa TV is just a bunch of fakers. This is real life.
