Blockers (2018) quotes

View Quote All: (laughing)
Julie: I don’t even know! Wait, wait, wait.
Kayla: Oh, my gosh, thank you.
Julie: You guys, you guys. Wait, this is, like, the best lighting with the Valencia filter, so wait, wait.
Kayla: Oh, God. All right. Here we go.
Julie: Yeah, okay, that’s enough.
Kayla: One more.
Sam: We’re good.
Kayla: Oh, my God, we need to get this party started. Ooh, okay, Julie.
Julie: Hmm?
Kayla: I got you something. (She gives her a bag of coconut oil) It’s coconut oil. For lube. I hear it works just as well and it makes blowjobs taste like Almond Joy.
Julie: (sighs) Thank God it doesn’t taste like Mounds. I’d rather eat 10 dicks than one Mound. Thank you. That’s so sweet!
Julie: Oh, my God. I’m so excited.
Kayla: Me, too. You have to text me, like, right away.
Julie: Oh, my God, we’re gonna be doing it at the same time.
Kayla: (gasps) Oh, my God. We have to talk about it tomorrow.
Julie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re gonna know every detail.
Kayla: There’s gonna be so much to talk about.
Sam: Guys? Hey, guys! I want in on this sex pact.
Julie: Are you sure? You don’t have to do this just because we are.
Sam: No, that’s not why. I want to have sex. Yeah. That’s something all 3 of us have in common.
Julie: Mmm-hmm.
Sam: Chad is gonna tap that ass with his penis, and I doubt we’ll have anal the first time, but…
Kayla: All right!
Julie: This is gonna make tonight even more perfect.
Sam: Yeah.
Kayla: It’s gonna be the three of us!
Sam: Yes!

View Quote Austin: Mmm. I love you.
Julie: I love you, too.
Austin: All right.
Julie: We’re so gross.
Austin: I know.
Julie: People are looking at us.
Austin: I don’t care.
Julie: We better get “Cutest Couple” in the yearbook. (She slaps him and he looks at each other mockingly)

View Quote Hunter: This is so dumb. Okay? Yeah, our kids are gonna hate us because you’re gonna humiliate them.
Lisa: I’m not gonna humiliate Julie. We’re best friends. I’m the cool mom.
Mitchell: Hunter, don’t make me sit on your balls again.
Hunter: Stop, stop, stop it, stop, stop! This is how they’re gonna be remembered in high school, as the weirdos whose parents dragged them out of prom because they were afraid of their sexuality. It’s not something that should be feared, it should be celebrated. And… And… And we have to empower these young women. I mean, what year is it, guys? It’s 2018.
Hunter: Jesus Christ!
Mitchell: Oh, gross.
Hunter: Okay, you know what? That’s an unfortunate coincidence. Get a **** room!

View Quote Hunter: Ugh, it’s just a bunch of paint samples and swatches.
Mitchell: (whispers) Shh! Hunter! Quiet!
Hunter: Why do I have to be quiet?
Mitchell: Shit would not fly if Marcie found out.
Hunter: Who wears the pants in this house, dawg?
Marcie: I do.
All: Oh!

View Quote Julie: Oh…
Julie: (laughs)
Lisa: (Off-screen) Julie, is that you?

View Quote Julie: Okay, bye, Mom!
Lisa: Okay, bye!
Julie: I love you!
Lisa: Okay, I love you. (She is watching her when she heads off)

View Quote Kayla: (Off-screen) I’m in the bathroom.
Kayla: Thanks, I was looking for that.
Mitchell: You mind telling me what this is?
Kayla: Uh, fuzz.
Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah, fuzz. It’s what I thought it was and then on further investigation, it is clearly an unraveled filter of a cigarette. Kayla, are you a smoker?
Kayla: What? No. (She goes back to the bathroom) I’m not a smoker, Dad.
Mitchell: Hey, haven’t you seen the billions of ads that tell you not to do this stuff?
Kayla: Dad! You can’t teach someone not to try things. Okay? That’s what trying things is for. To teach you things. It’s a contradiction. It’s like telling me not to go for a triple on a base hit to the gap when I’ve made a good turn around first and I know that the right fielder has a weak arm.
Mitchell: Damn it, you’re smart.
Kayla: Okay. Yeah. All right. Time to get ready for school, Dad.
Mitchell: Okay, all right.

View Quote Kayla: Julie! Sam!
Julie: Hey, girl!
Kayla: Whoa!
Sam: (laughing)
Kayla: I almost died.
Julie and Sam: Prom night!
Julie: I’m so, so excited!
Kayla: Me, too.

View Quote Lisa: Hi, how are you?
Kayla: Hi.
Lisa: Hi! How are you? Hi, Marcie.
Marcie: (mouthing words)
Lisa: Oh. Uh-huh. Hey, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while.
Lisa: Yeah.
Mitchell: You know, I was worried when I never heard back from you about hot yoga. Called you a bunch of times. I ended up having to eat that two-for-one Groupon.
Lisa: Oh, yeah, I don’t really do the hot yoga thing. It’s just…
Mitchell: Well, we should catch up, though, right?
Lisa: Yeah.
Mitchell: Like a lunch, I don’t know.
Lisa: Yeah, maybe. Yeah, give me a call.
Mitchell: I’ve been calling you.
Lisa: Mmm-hmm.
Mitchell: It doesn’t work. It’s not effective.

View Quote Lisa: It’s okay, you’re gonna love it! Happy first day of school. Bye, sweetie.
Young Kayla: Hi!
Young Julie: Hi.
Young Sam: Hey, I’m Sam.
Young Julie: Hi, I’m Julie.
Lisa: Bye!
Young Julie: Bye, Mom!
Hunter: I’m Hunter. Sam’s mine, right there. The one with the glasses.
Lisa: I’m Lisa. That’s my Julie.
Mitchell: I’m Mitchell. (sniffles) Kayla’s hero.
Lisa: Oh. Are you okay?
Mitchell: Yeah, yeah. You crying? (Breaking his voice) No, man. It’s a big day, that’s all. You know, can I have a tissue, please?
Lisa: Yeah, yeah.
Mitchell: Thank you.
Lisa: It’s a big day for all of us.
Hunter: Yeah.
Mitchell: Thanks. (exhales)
Lisa: (sighs and chuckles)
Hunter: I think our daughters are friends. And I think that means we’re friends.
Hunter: Should we go get a drink?
Lisa: You okay?
Hunter: Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah.
Hunter: Do you guys wanna go get a drink?
Mitchell: Ah, they made it. (sniffles)
Hunter: You guys wanna go grab a drink real quick?
Lisa: Is he asking us if we wanna go grab a drink?
Mitchell: I’m really hoping it’s coffee.

View Quote Lisa: That is some horseshit.
Lisa: Wow. You look so beautiful! (gasps) Turn around. (Julie turns around) Wow.
Lisa: Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Julie: So what’s the big plan for after prom? Uh, we’re just going to Austin’s.
Lisa: You really like him, huh?
Julie: Yeah. Yeah, I mean… Yeah, he’s cool. It’s not like serious or anything.
Lisa: His mom told me het got into UCLA. That’s nice.
Julie: Yeah, I mean, it’s good. You remember that time when, like, I thought about going to UCLA?
Lisa: Yes. That would’ve been crazy. That would’ve been the worst mistake ever.
Julie: I don’t think it would’ve been that huge of a mistake.
Lisa: Uh, yes, it would have. (laughs) University of Chicago is perfect. It’s 45 minutes away. So that way you’re gone but you’re not gone, gone.
Julie: But I’m gone.
Lisa: Right. But not, like, gone.
Julie: Right, but, like, I’m going to college and, like, I’m not gonna live at home. So, I’m like, I’m gone.
Lisa: Mmm-hmm.
Julie: Why are my boobs so big?

View Quote Lisa: You’re probably gonna miss these mornings that we spend together, right?
Julie: Stop. You’re gonna make me cry. And I don’t want to cry, because it’s prom night. And it’s supposed to be, like, the most magical night of your life, and, you know, I’m just so anxious about it.
Lisa: Well, call me if you feel anxious. Or maybe FaceTime me, if it wasn’t too loud. I mean, if it was too loud, you could just… we could wave or whatever. (chuckles) That’d be funny. And then I can do… You know what I was thinking? You should send me photos throughout the night. Like, not… not, like, all night long, but if you could do it like every 30 minutes or so, then I can put together one of those iBooks. That would be so fun.
Julie: Yeah.
Lisa: That would be a really… I don’t think you would regret that. (chuckles)
Julie: Hmm. Mom?
Lisa: Mmm-hmm.
Julie: Are you gonna be okay when I go to college?
Lisa: Who, me?
Julie: Yeah.
Lisa: Me? (laughs) What? Pl-Please. Don’t even get me… (laughs) Don’t even… Please!
Julie: (chuckles)

View Quote Mitchell: How are we supposed to find them in this place? It’s got, like, 20 rooms.
Hunter: I’m sorry, what the **** are you talking about? “Twenty”? It’s got, like, 200! What? Twenty?
Lisa: Grand Lux Suite is on the top floor.
Hunter: Go, go, go! Move! Hurry, Lisa!

View Quote Mitchell: Ready, Kayla?
Kayla: Yep.
Mitchell: And now, standing at 5’ 7”, 5’ 9” if you count the heels, straight out of Great Lakes High School, the prettiest girl in all of prom, Kayla Mannes.
Marcie: (whoops and laughs)
Mitchell: Oh. Just high-fives from now on.
Kayla: Okay.
Marcie: Oh, honey, I never thought I’d see you in a dress!
Mitchell: Technically it’s not a full dress. Some material is missing from the middle there.
Marcie: Okay. You look great.
Kayla: All right, yeah, I think it’s time to go.
Marcie: Yes. Yeah. Honey, we gotta go.
Marcie: Honey?
Kayla: Dad, are you okay? It’s like when he watched Frozen.
Marcie: Come on.

View Quote Mitchell: What the hell is that?
Lisa: I have no idea.