Julie quotes from Blockers (2018)

Lisa

You’re probably gonna miss these mornings that we spend together, right?

Stop. You’re gonna make me cry. And I don’t want to cry, because it’s prom night. And it’s supposed to be, like, the most magical night of your life, and, you know, I’m just so anxious about it.

Lisa

Well, call me if you feel anxious. Or maybe FaceTime me, if it wasn’t too loud. I mean, if it was too loud, you could just… we could wave or whatever. (chuckles) That’d be funny. And then I can do… You know what I was thinking? You should send me photos throughout the night. Like, not… not, like, all night long, but if you could do it like every 30 minutes or so, then I can put together one of those iBooks. That would be so fun.

Yeah.

Lisa

That would be a really… I don’t think you would regret that. (chuckles)

Hmm. Mom?

Lisa

Mmm-hmm.

Are you gonna be okay when I go to college?

Lisa

Who, me?

Yeah.

Lisa

Me? (laughs) What? Pl-Please. Don’t even get me… (laughs) Don’t even… Please!

Okay, bye, Mom!

Lisa

Okay, bye!

I love you!

Lisa

Okay, I love you. (She is watching her when she heads off)

Kayla

Julie! Sam!

Hey, girl!

Kayla

Whoa!

Kayla

I almost died.

Prom night!

I’m so, so excited!

Kayla

Me, too.

Mmm. I love you.

I love you, too.

All right.

We’re so gross.

I know.

People are looking at us.

I don’t care.

We better get “Cutest Couple” in the yearbook. (She slaps him and he looks at each other mockingly)

Oh…

Lisa

Julie, is that you?

Lisa

That is some horseshit.

Lisa

Wow. You look so beautiful! (gasps) Turn around. (Julie turns around) Wow.

Lisa

Oh, my goodness. Wow.

So what’s the big plan for after prom? Uh, we’re just going to Austin’s.

Lisa

You really like him, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean… Yeah, he’s cool. It’s not like serious or anything.

Lisa

His mom told me het got into UCLA. That’s nice.

Yeah, I mean, it’s good. You remember that time when, like, I thought about going to UCLA?

Lisa

Yes. That would’ve been crazy. That would’ve been the worst mistake ever.

I don’t think it would’ve been that huge of a mistake.

Lisa

Uh, yes, it would have. (laughs) University of Chicago is perfect. It’s 45 minutes away. So that way you’re gone but you’re not gone, gone.

But I’m gone.

Lisa

Right. But not, like, gone.

Right, but, like, I’m going to college and, like, I’m not gonna live at home. So, I’m like, I’m gone.

Lisa

Mmm-hmm.

Why are my boobs so big?

I don’t even know! Wait, wait, wait.

Kayla

Oh, my gosh, thank you.

You guys, you guys. Wait, this is, like, the best lighting with the Valencia filter, so wait, wait.

Kayla

Oh, God. All right. Here we go.

Yeah, okay, that’s enough.

Kayla

One more.

Sam

We’re good.

Kayla

Oh, my God, we need to get this party started. Ooh, okay, Julie.

Hmm?

Kayla

I got you something. (She gives her a bag of coconut oil) It’s coconut oil. For lube. I hear it works just as well and it makes blowjobs taste like Almond Joy.

Thank God it doesn’t taste like Mounds. I’d rather eat 10 dicks than one Mound. Thank you. That’s so sweet!

Oh, my God. I’m so excited.

Kayla

Me, too. You have to text me, like, right away.

Oh, my God, we’re gonna be doing it at the same time.

Kayla

Oh, my God. We have to talk about it tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re gonna know every detail.

Kayla

There’s gonna be so much to talk about.

Sam

Guys? Hey, guys! I want in on this sex pact.

Are you sure? You don’t have to do this just because we are.

Sam

No, that’s not why. I want to have sex. Yeah. That’s something all 3 of us have in common.

Mmm-hmm.

Sam

Chad is gonna tap that ass with his penis, and I doubt we’ll have anal the first time, but…

Kayla

All right!

This is gonna make tonight even more perfect.

Sam

Yeah.

Kayla

It’s gonna be the three of us!

Sam

Yes!