Rowan Atkinson movie quotes

View Quote I've been dropped into the Kalahari desert, carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a pack of sherbert lemons, and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan.

View Quote Do you or do you not have tattooed on your bottom the words "Jesus is coming - look busy"?

View Quote A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, sensitive hearing and a whole bunch of bigger brains.

View Quote [at the virtual rollercoaster ride talking to David] Brace yourself!

View Quote Kevin Langley: I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about naked women. What about you?
Mr. Bean: Whistler's Mother.
Kevin Langley: Well, whatever turns you on.

View Quote [David and Bean walk outside the exhibition room; David feels miserable]
David Langley: Hey, do you drink, Bean?
Mr. Bean: No.
David Langley: Good, neither do I.

View Quote Mufasa: Scar!
Scar: Why if it isn't my big brother descending from on high to mingle with the commoners.
Mufasa: Sarabi and I didn't see you at the presentation of Simba.
Scar: That was today? Oh, I feel simply awful. (scratches claws against a rock like nails on a chalkboard, irritating Zazu) Must've slipped my mind.
Zazu: Yes, well, as slippery as your mind is, as the king's brother, you should have been first in line!
Scar: I was first in line. Until the little hairball was born.
Mufasa: That hairball is my son and your future king.
Scar (sarcastically): Oh, I shall practice my curtsy. (turns to leave)
Mufasa: (becoming angry) Don't turn your back on me, Scar.
Scar: Oh no, Mufasa. Perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me.
(Mufasa roars and leaps in front of Scar)
Mufasa: Is that a challenge?!
Scar: Temper, temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.
Zazu: Pity. Why not?
Scar: Well, as far as brains go, I've got the lion's share. But when it comes to brute strength... I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool. (skulks away)
Zazu: (to Mufasa) There's one in every family, sire - two in mine, actually - and they always manage to ruin special occassions.
Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?
Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.
Mufasa: (grinning) Zazu!
Zazu: And just think! Whenever he gets dirty, you could take him out and beat him.
Mufasa: (laughs)

View Quote (the hyenas confront Simba, Nala and Zazu, who have wandered into the elephant graveyard)
Shenzi: Well, well, well, Banzai, what have we got here?
Banzai: Mmm...I don't know, Shenzi. Uh, what do you think, Ed?
Ed: (crazy laughter)
Banzai: Just what I was thinkin'. A trio of trespassers!
Zazu: And quite by accident, let me assure you. A simple navigational error.
(Zazu turns to leave but is stopped by Shenzi)
Shenzi: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. I know you. You're Mufasa's little stooge.
Zazu: I, madam, am the king's Majordomo.
Banzai: (to Simba) And that would make you...
Simba: Future king!
Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?
Simba: Puh. You can't do anything to me.
Zazu: (nervous) Technically, they can. We are on their land.
Simba: But Zazu, you told me they're nothing but slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers!
Zazu: Ix-nay on the upid-stay...
(Banzai angrily interrupts)
Banzai: Who you callin' "upid-stay?!"
Zazu: (tries to hurry Simba and Nala away) My, my! Look at the sun, it's time to go!
Shenzi: (gets in their way) What's the hurry? We'd love you to stick around for dinner.
Banzai: Yeah, we could have whatever's "lion" around!
(The hyenas laugh)
Shenzi: Ohh, wait, wait, wait, I got one, I got one! Make mine a "cub" sandwich!
(Ed makes noises and points to where Simba, Nala and Zazu were)
Shenzi: What, Ed? What is it?
Banzai: Hey, did we order this dinner to go?
Shenzi: No. Why?
Banzai: 'Cause THERE IT GOES!!!
(they turn to see Simba, Nala and Zazu fleeing)

View Quote Banzai: (to Scar) We got a bone to pick with you!
Shenzi: [to Banzai] I'll handle this. (to Scar) Scar, there's no food and no water--
Banzai: Yeah, it's dinner time, and we ain't got no stinkin' entrees!
Scar: [exasperated] It's the lionesses' job to do the hunting...
Banzai: But they won't go hunt.
Scar: Oh... eat Zazu.
Zazu: Oh, you wouldn't want me! I'd be so tough and gamey and... eww...
Scar: Oh, Zazu, don't be ridiculous. All you need is a little garnish.
Banzai: (aside, to Shenzi) I thought things were bad under Mufasa.
Scar: (suddenly angry) What did you say?!
Banzai: I said Muf... (Shenzi nudges him) I said, uh... "Qu? pasa?"
Scar: Good. Now get out!
Banzai: Yeah but, we're still hungry.
Scar: (yelling) Out!
(The hyenas quickly flee the cave)

View Quote (Tucker and English approach a cliff)
Tucker: What are you doing, sir?
English: Regulation 75-1, never question a senior agent in the field (jumps off the cliff) .

View Quote Monastery chief: MI7. Wants you on the first flight back to London.
English: (in a sad tone) Master. Am I ready?
(The music builds up)
Chief: No.

View Quote Quartermain: This way. Haven't got all day. Don't! (too late; English presses "Enter" on a nearby laptop, firing a disc. The disc flies across the aisle and slices the entire head clean off of a dummy, which an agent catches) Would you stop meddling, English? (guides English over to a luxurious car) Here she is.
English: Ahh, the Rolls-Royce Phantom. Truly the Rolls-Royce of automobiles.
Quartermain: Armour plating, all the bells and whistles. Say "bonnet."
English: Bonnet.
Car's computer: Command accepted. (the bonnet opens)
Quartermain: Voice activation recognizes only you. Rolls has fitted one of their experimental engines, the nine-litre V16. Goes like the wind... only quieter.
English: Beautiful.
Quartermain: Keep up. (leads English to a table laid out with gadgets that all look completely innocent) Here's what you'll be taking to Hong Kong.
English: Ah, yes.
Quartermain: (holds up a socket extension) A satellite receiver, (holds up a comb) tracking device, (holds up a pack of gum) Semtex chewing gum... (English grabs a small digital camera) Ah! Now, what did I just say? (English clicks the shutter, firing a mini-dart out of the lens. The dart goes directly through the rump of a dummy and into the buttocks of an agent. The other agents laugh and English chuckles sheepishly) That's the new P2 digital dart gun.

View Quote [imitating Sabine after she insults a car overtaking them] Espèce de canard!

View Quote Waitress on Train: Un caf?
Mr. Bean: Oui.
Waitress on Train: Du sucre?
Mr. Bean: Non.
Waitress on Train: You speak very good French.
Mr. Bean: Gracias.

View Quote Sabine: [after finding out Mr. Bean is wanted by the whole of France, angrily] Who are you? Where are you going?
Mr. Bean: [takes out picture of Cannes and points to it] To the beach.

View Quote Mondavarious: I'm Emile Mondavarious, the owner of the amusement park.
Velma: You seem less...
Shaggy: Spooky!
Velma: Than we'd have guessed.

View Quote Brad: Carol! Hey Carol, how's the island?
Carol: [with an angry tone] Are you tricking on me?
Brad: Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three--
Carol: [suddenly lifts up Brad in air] Back off my grill, son.
Brad: [screaming in pure terror while Mystery Inc. gets shocked] CAROL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
[She throws Brad in front of Mystery Inc. and Mondavarious, then walks away with the other kids; Brad crawls away in fright]
Mondavarious: I'm terrified. And if the young people come off the barge, the people I love the most, they are in danger.
Velma: I'm gonna solve this one first.
Fred: Not before I solve it first.
Mondavarious: Well done.
Daphne: You guys are gonna look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.

View Quote Velma: What's the problem, exactly?
Mondavarious: I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. Now listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and those departing?
Daphne: They look like sober, well-behaved college kids.
Mondavarious: Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell.

View Quote Elsie: [Marlene is crying hysterically] Is she sober?
Mr. Stringer: Yes she's sober! I've been with her all aftern... When... I... Uh... I saw her w... Yes, of course she's sober! Don't be stupid!

View Quote Mr. Stringer: I'm sorry, madam, but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.
Helga Eveshim: How dare you say that when your rotten hotel is full of rats anyway?
Mr. Stringer: Rats? There are no rats in this hotel!
Helga Eveshim: I saw one this morning running along the corridor, into the kitchens.
Mr. Stringer: Madam, you only arrived in the hotel this afternoon.
Helga Eveshim: [scoffs] Morning, afternoon, I saw a rat in your hotel, and if matters do not improve, I shall have to report you to the public health authorities.
Mr. Stringer: Look, madam, I'm not prepared...
Luke Eveshim: The cakes in the lounge are nibbled around the edges, too. I can show you.
Helga Eveshim: If you are not careful, the health people will order the whole hotel closed before everyone gets typhoid fever.
Mr. Stringer: You can't be serious, madam!
Helga Eveshim: I have never been more serious in my life. Now - will you or will you not let my grandchild keep his hygienic and perfectly harmless pet mice?

View Quote Marlene: [to Mr. Stringer] I'll see you later then.
Mr. Stringer: [hesitates] We're short-staffed tonight. I might be a little late.
Marlene: [smiles] I can wait. [Mr. Stringer goes to kiss her until he sees small brown fur on her neck making him leave in disgust] What is it? [Marlene looks in the mirror and squeals in horror]