Grand High Witch
[the Grand High Witch is transforming into a mouse]
I'm not finished with you yet, old woman... Next time...
Helga Eveshim
No. Not next time. This time, it's your turn!
Played by Mai Zetterling 
The Witches (1990) · 30 quotes
The Witches (1990) · 30 quotes
When your father was a boy like you, and living with me here in Norway, I told him about witches too, so that he would always be aware. Now, the most important thing you should know about real witches is this - now listen very carefully! Real witches dress in ordinary clothes, and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses, and they work in ordinary jobs.
Scenes with Helga Eveshim
7 scenes Helga Eveshim
Helga Eveshim
Real witches are very cruel, and they have a highly developed sense of smell. A real witch could smell you across the street on a pitch-black night.
Luke Eveshim
She couldn't smell me. I've just had a shower.
Helga Eveshim
Oh yes, she could. The cleaner you are, the more a witch can smell you.
Luke Eveshim
That doesn't make sense.
Helga Eveshim
Oh, yes it does. A dirty child, it is the dirt she smells. A clean child, it is the child.
Luke Eveshim
Wow. I'll never have a shower again, and I'll have you for an excuse.
Helga Eveshim
Well, just not often. Only once a month is probably safe.
Luke Eveshim
So a witch could smell me right now?
Helga Eveshim
To me you smell of raspberries and cream. But to a witch, you would smell absolutely disgusting.
Luke Eveshim
What kind of disgusting?
Helga Eveshim
Like... dog's droppings.
Luke Eveshim
I don't believe it.
Helga Eveshim
You don't believe it? What's more, to a witch you would smell of FRESH dog's droppings.
Luke Eveshim
So if no one's seen the Grand High Witch, how are you sure she exists?
Helga Eveshim
[she looks at him]
Nobody's ever seen the Devil, but we know He exists, don't we?
Luke Eveshim
Yes.
Helga Eveshim
For all you know, a witch might be living next door to you.
Helga Eveshim
Oh, how I love English hotel teas! Cream cakes, and shortbread, and...
Luke Eveshim
No grandma.
Helga Eveshim
, :Luke Eveshim: No cream cakes.
Helga Eveshim
And no shortbread either; it's full of sugar. Soon I will be eating the same diet as your mice.
Helga Eveshim
Witches spend their time plotting to kill children, stalking the wretched child like a hunter stalks a bird in the forest.
Luke Eveshim
Did they hunt you? [she shows him her right hand with a missing finger] You said it was an accident...
Helga Eveshim
A very unpleasant accident.
Mr. Stringer
I'm sorry, madam, but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.
Helga Eveshim
How dare you say that when your rotten hotel is full of rats anyway?
Mr. Stringer
Rats? There are no rats in this hotel!
Helga Eveshim
I saw one this morning running along the corridor, into the kitchens.
Mr. Stringer
Madam, you only arrived in the hotel this afternoon.
Helga Eveshim
[scoffs]
Morning, afternoon, I saw a rat in your hotel, and if matters do not improve, I shall have to report you to the public health authorities.
Mr. Stringer
Look, madam, I'm not prepared...
Luke Eveshim
The cakes in the lounge are nibbled around the edges, too. I can show you.
Helga Eveshim
If you are not careful, the health people will order the whole hotel closed before everyone gets typhoid fever.
Mr. Stringer
You can't be serious, madam!
Helga Eveshim
I have never been more serious in my life. Now - will you or will you not let my grandchild keep his hygienic and perfectly harmless pet mice?
Helga Eveshim
[Helga stops Mr. Jenkins for eating the soup]
Don't touch it!
Mr. Jenkins
I told you she was a loony. She's an absolute nutter! [She takes the plate the spills the soup] Look at my bloody soup! All that stuff about Bruno!
Helga Eveshim
Bruno has been turned into...
Mr. Jenkins
He has NOT been turned into a... [notices that Bruno is a mouse]
Bruno Jenkins
Yes, I have! Hello, dad! [Mrs. Jenkins notices that her son is a mouse, screaming and faints]
