Miss Irvine quotes from The Witches (1990)

Played by Jane Horrocks

View Quote Mr. Jenkins: Thought I'd like to say hello to a fellow philanthropist.
Miss Ernst: You collect stamps?
Mr. Jenkins: Charitees. This RSPCC.
Miss Ernst: What is this RSP...?
Miss Irvine: [whispers] Cruelty to Children!
Miss Ernst: Oh, of course, you give money for the little... [gags] children. And... we of course... we also give money for the little... [Irvine holds out a basin for he. Jenkins throws some change into it]

View Quote Henrietta: Poisoned sweets? We'll wipe them out like weasels!
Grand High Witch: Who spoke?
Miss Irvine: [points at Henrietta and laughs] She did!
Henrietta: It's brilliant!
Grand High Witch: Poisoned? And you don't mind getting caught, exposed, vilified?
Henrietta: [nervously] Well, I just thought...
Grand High Witch: Mindless bumpkin! You blithering bogvumper! [Henrietta winces in fear] No wonder that England is swarming with...
[Eva takes a deep breath to keep her cool]
Grand High Witch: [now calm] Everything you sell that day will have to be treated with my very latest and very greatest magic formula.
[Eva holds out a tiny purple vial, Formula 86]
Grand High Witch: [points and shouts to enunciate at Henrietta] Witches work only with magic!

View Quote Miss Ernst: What are you doing here?
Miss Irvine: The banquet, Miss Ernst.
Miss Ernst: No, no, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for...
Mr. Jenkins: Hello!
Miss Ernst: ...tomorrow's flight. Yes. [Waves to Mr. Jenkins] Have a good flight.
Miss Irvine: But, it's our banquet!
Miss Ernst: You are not here to enjoy yourself, you are here as my staff! Go to your room, NOW. [to the Witches at the table] Ladies...
Miss Irvine: [long pause after Eva Ernst walks off] I quit.

View Quote Marlene: [entering the room as they leave] Evening, madam. Just popping in to turn down your bed.
Miss Ernst: How is the room service here?
Miss Irvine: Diabolical.
Miss Ernst: Good.
Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?
Miss Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.
[as they walk downstairs the elevator chimes]

View Quote Miss Ernst: You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs! [Grabs her wig with one hand and pulls her face mask down to her eyebrows with the other] The doors- are they locked and bolted?
Miss Irvine: Locked and bolted, your Grandness.
Miss Ernst: Good. Help.

Other characters in The Witches (1990): Miss Ernst · Helga Eveshim · Luke Eveshim · Grand High Witch · Bruno Jenkins · Woman in Black · Mr. Stringer