Velma
Jinkies! Fred? Come in, Fred. Fred, can you hear me?
Fred
Fredster here, Velms.
Velma
Shockingly, Daphne's been captured again. That's okay. When the Luna Ghost rounds the corner with Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby will pop out of the barrel--
Fred
And you'll activate the conveyor belt, spilling the vat of oil onto the floor.
Velma
Just remember my plan.
Velma
Daphne? Are you okay?
Daphne
I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.
Fred
Uh, where's Shagster?
Shaggy
Like, I'm right here, man.
Scooby
Me, too.
Shaggy
Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again, huh?
Scooby
Yeah! He-he-he-he!
Pam, any comments for us?
This is a victory for any celebrity who wants to make a quality, ecologically-friendly action figure.
Fred, what's the secret of your success?
Fred
Teamwork. I do a tremendous amount of teamwork... and I always have a plan. Come on.
Velma
Yeah, my plan.
Fred
I knew from the beginning there was never a phantom. The Luna Ghost is, in fact...
Old Man Smithers?
The creepy janitor?
Fred
Smithers wanted revenge after you refused to go out with him.
How could you, Pamela? I am a lover boy of George Clooney-an proportions.
Fred, how was the ghost able to fly?
Velma
I can answer that. Watch. [she and Fred reveal what Smithers was wearing under his costume.] These balloons fill with a highly potent helium synthesis, giving the Luna Ghost his weightless appearance.
I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog! I'll get you for this!
Scooby
Scooby-dooby-doo!
Daphne
Some plan. That ghost pawed me for an hour and a half.
Fred
Daph, look, it's not our fault that you always get kidnapped.
Daphne
I do not always get kidnapped. I can't believe you'd say that to me.
Velma
Oh, please. You come with your own ransom note. [Daphne steals her glasses] Hey, my glasses!
Daphne
Who's helpless, now?
Velma
I'm gonna kill you, Daphne!
Fred
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [checks his ascot] Watch the ascot!
Shaggy
Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. [Daphne hands Velma's glasses and Velma snatches them back] I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana. Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble-gum-flavored ice cream, and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.
Scooby
Mmm-mmm!
Shaggy
That sounds pretty good, doesn't it, Scoob?
Scooby
Uh-huh.
Velma
You know what, Shaggy. You've really put it into perspective for me.
Shaggy
Thanks.
Velma
I quit.
Shaggy
No.
Daphne
No way. You-you can't quit. I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds. And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl.
Fred
Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!
Velma
I'm outta here.
Daphne
Good riddance.
Shaggy
Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, you guys, don't do this. Please, don't go.
Scooby
Do I quit?
Shaggy
No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.
Scooby
What now, Shaggy?
Shaggy
I guess we'll all just do what we do best, Scoob.
Carol! Hey Carol, how's the island?
Are you tricking on me?
Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three--
Back off my grill, son.
CAROL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Mondavarious
I'm terrified. And if the young people come off the barge, the people I love the most, they are in danger.
Velma
I'm gonna solve this one first.
Fred
Not before I solve it first.
Mondavarious
Well done.
Daphne
You guys are gonna look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.
Fred
I couldn't get to my body. I didn't know where else to go, I panicked! It's not easy to steer when you're pure spirit! [looks down and becomes impressed.] Hey.... I can look at myself naked!
Velma
Oh, brother!
Fred
Hey good looking!
Daphne
Fred! You egocentric...
Shaggy
Please! Tell me you guys are you!
Daphne
Fred keeps touching me!
Daphne
We did it!
Fred
Yes we did. [the two kiss; Daphne suddenly breaks off]
Daphne
Fred, cut it out!
[both smile]
Scrappy-Dappy-Doo!
Scooby
Hey!
Ghosts don't stand a chance with me. Let me at 'em! I'll rack 'em! I'll sock 'em!
Fred
Scrappy, for the thousandth time, there's no such thing as ghosts.
Sure, there are. And when I find them, I'll give them a dose of puppy power! [starts peeing on Daphne] Ta-da!
Daphne
Oh, god! He's peeing on me!
Ooh.
Velma
That little egomaniac had flipped his lid.
Fred
Scrappy, I told you, no urinating on Daphne!
It was an accident!
Fred
You were marking your territory!
You don't have the scrote for this job, pally! Now listen up, losers. The time has come to appoint me your unquestioned leader. Either that, or I'm outta here!
Scooby
Hmm...
What's the idea? [gets kicked off the Mystery Machine van, rolls away] You can't do this to me! People adore me! [kicks the suitcase] Ow! I’m as cute as a Powerpuff Girl. I'll get my own TV show.
