Oliver Platt movie quotes

View Quote [To Rochefort] Rochefort... isn't that a smelly kind of a cheese?

View Quote Come, D'Artagnan, we're saving the king!

View Quote This axe was a gift to me from the Czarina of Tokyo.

View Quote Mark: He blew off the Calloway meeting.
Lisa: I don't care about that. Ineed to speak with John. Listen, you wouldn't believe what's going on here.
[animals noises]

View Quote Mark: Johnny. John, Gene has got some qualms about the new proposal. I'd like you to talk to him about it.
John: No room for qualms, Gene.
Mark: No room for qualms.
John: No qualms.
Gene: No, there's just one or two--
John: Qualms are bad.
Mark: No, qualms are bad. Listen to Johnny. Qualms are bad.
Gene: I have qualms I'd like to discuss. You know what it is? I'm just afraid that if we let a big company like Calnet take us over, you know, we're not gonna be us anymore. You know? We-we-W?we'd be them.
John: Let me explain something to you, Gene. Them has the best hospitals, and them has the best laboratories, and them is gonna pay us a very big, giant amount of money.
Mark: I swear. I swear to God that when I think about the money, I get teary.
John: It's huge.
Mark: I get all-- Look at me.
John: You see, those are real tears in his eyes.
Mark: So, Saturday morning we're sitting down with the Calnet people. I'll see you all there. I'm very excited about it.
John: Hey, wait, whoa, whoa. Saturday morning? I'm supposed to take my family to the country this weekend.
Mark: Well, don't.
Gene: You see, it's happening already.
Mark: What?
Gene: John, you're being forced to neglect your family.
Mark: Gene, relax. No such thing. Mrs O'Brien?
Mrs. O'Brien: Yes.
Mark: How are you? Is your tummy still...?
Mrs. O'Brien: Uh-huh.
Mark: Oh. Okay, Saturday morning, guys. Gene, no tank tops, please. No tank tops.
John: Mrs. Parkus.
Mrs. Parkus: Yes, Doctor?
John: Mrs. Parkus. Have you eaten shellfish again?
Mrs. Parkus: Just soft-shell crab.
John: And what's the middle word?
Mrs. Parkus: Shell.
John: Exactly.

View Quote John: Diane, please call down to radiology and get me the x-rays on Mr. Galvin. Also, check with Mrs. Rivers and see if she can switch her appointment to 3:15. I may need to call in Gene for a consultation.
Diane: Yes, Doctor.
John: Gene, can you check your schedule and see if you can do a 3.15 consult?
Gene: Sure.
John: Good. And Mark, did you get back the tests on Mr Freeman?
Mark: I think they're coming in this afternoon, Johnny.
John: Good. Keep me informed, okay?
Male Pigeon: Hey, Doc, do you think I should get my beak done?
John: Fssh!
Male Pigeon: Hey!
John: Call somebody from maintenance we need to put some for permanent screens up, or set some traps. This is a doctor's office, not a zoo.
Mark: He's back. We're gonna be rich.

View Quote Good thing I didn't flatline. My 350-pound babysitter would be chasing me for the half-eaten pastrami sandwich I stole from her.

View Quote [talking about the experiment] I did not come to medical school to murder my class mates no matter how deranged they might be.

View Quote Randy Steckle: [while David Labraccio is flatlining] What is it that hangs in the air, palpably? Is it hope? Is it fear? Is it the musky mist of death?
Joe Hurley: Shut up, Steckle.
Randy Steckle: No, you shut up.

View Quote Ark AI: Impact warning. Thirty degrees west. Forty-five degrees east. Target elevation, 29,035 feet.
Carl Anheuser: Twenty-nine thousand feet? What the hell is at 29,000 feet!?
Captain Michaels: We're headed straight for the north face of Mount Everest, Mr. Anheuser and if we do not start our engines, we will not survive the impact.

View Quote [Adrian Helmsley defies Anheuser to make his case to the other Arks taking in the people still stranded outside]
Adrian Helmsley: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dr. Adrian Helmsley, chief science adviser to the late President Wilson.
German Chancellor: Could you please turn up the volume, Mr. Hoffmann?
Helmsley: I know we've all been forced to make difficult decisions to save our human civilization, but to be human means to care for each other and civilization means to work together to create a better life. If that's true, then there's nothing human and nothing civilized about what we're doing here.
Carl Anheuser: Dr. Helmsley's passion is admirable, but I will remind you that we have very limited resources and extremely limited time.
Helmsley: Ask yourselves, can we really stand by and watch these people die? I read a quote two days ago. The author is probably dead by now, but he said: "The moment we stop fighting for each other, [glares at Anheuser] that's the moment that we lose our humanity."
Anheuser: And in order to save the human race, we have an obligation to stick to this plan, which every nation on this flotilla has signed up for.
Helmsley: We have to let these people in-
Anheuser: They're in God's hands now!!! [to comms officer] Officer, you turn that off. That is an order sailor. Turn it off!
Professor West: [aims cane] Don't you dare touch that button, young man!
Anheuser: Have you completely lost your mind? Look at the clock! [points to countdown] We have barely 15 minutes left. Do you wanna be responsible for the extinction of the human race? Can you handle that, Adrian?
Helmsley: There's a young astrophysicist from India who's the reason we're all here.
Anheuser: Oh, for God's sake.
Helmsley: He's the one who discovered it all. He connected all the dots. We all owe him our lives. I just learned that he was killed with his family in a tsunami in eastern India. [gets more emotional] He was my friend, and he died in vain. Everybody out there has died in vain if we start our future with an act of cruelty. What would you tell your children? What will they tell theirs?
Laura Wilson: If my father were here, he would open the gates.
Russian President: The people of Russia [looks to fellow heads of state] along with China and Japan, agree... to open the gates.
German Chancellor: The United Kingdom, Spain, France, Canada, Germany and I believe I may also speak for the Italian prime minister, we vote to let these people come in.
Helmsley: Captain Michaels. Please.
Capt. Michaels: [contemplates, then reaches for radio mike] This is the captain. In a few moments, we will open the gates and get you people in. Please step back and clear the platform. [crowd cheers]

View Quote Carl Anheuser: [about Laura Wilson] She's a smart girl, she'll understand.
Adrian Helmsley: That thing in Paris, we're not involved in any of that, are we?
Anheuser: "We"? Who's "we", what are you talking about? What we need to do is focus on the timeline.
Helmsley: So when do we let the country know?
Anheuser: What?
Helmsley: The people, sir. They need to know.
Anheuser: Well, of course they do. Listen, your job is to figure out when this is all gonna fall apart, my mission is to figure out how to retain some semblance of government after it falls apart, and until then, we don't have time for anything except for doing those jobs, okay? Now, you call me the moment you get any news from Yellowstone.
Helmsley: Yes, sir. [turns to go]
Anheuser: Cute girl, eh?
Helmsley: Sir?
Anheuser: The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.
Helmsley: I wasn't looking at her.
Anheuser: Better move fast, kid. The end is near.

View Quote Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books.

View Quote Kelly Scott: His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?
Hector Cyr: Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.

View Quote Kelly Scott: Did you want to be killed by it?
Hector Cyr: You think I'm that nuts?
Kelly Scott: Hector, what you just did, there had to be some sort of death wish going on.
Hector Cyr: In ancient Malenesia people suspected of crime's would be thrown to the crocodiles. Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge.
Kelly Scott: Oh, so that was you wanting to be judged out there?
Hector Cyr: Maybe I was, and so what? Is that too arbitrary? Better to be measured by my wealth? Better for me to get my self-esteem looking into the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket? There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes. There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes...
Kelly Scott: Jesus, Hector cut the shit.
Hector Cyr: Aw, **** it.