Carl Anheuser quotes from 2012 (2009)

Carl Anheuser

She's a smart girl, she'll understand.

Adrian Helmsley

That thing in Paris, we're not involved in any of that, are we?

Anheuser

"We"? Who's "we", what are you talking about? What we need to do is focus on the timeline.

Helmsley

So when do we let the country know?

Anheuser

What?

Helmsley

The people, sir. They need to know.

Anheuser

Well, of course they do. Listen, your job is to figure out when this is all gonna fall apart, my mission is to figure out how to retain some semblance of government after it falls apart, and until then, we don't have time for anything except for doing those jobs, okay? Now, you call me the moment you get any news from Yellowstone.

Helmsley

Yes, sir. [turns to go]

Anheuser

Cute girl, eh?

Helmsley

Sir?

Anheuser

The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.

Helmsley

I wasn't looking at her.

Anheuser

Better move fast, kid. The end is near.

Adrian Helmsley

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dr. Adrian Helmsley, chief science adviser to the late President Wilson.

Could you please turn up the volume, Mr. Hoffmann?

Helmsley

I know we've all been forced to make difficult decisions to save our human civilization, but to be human means to care for each other and civilization means to work together to create a better life. If that's true, then there's nothing human and nothing civilized about what we're doing here.

Carl Anheuser

Dr. Helmsley's passion is admirable, but I will remind you that we have very limited resources and extremely limited time.

Helmsley

Ask yourselves, can we really stand by and watch these people die? I read a quote two days ago. The author is probably dead by now, but he said: "The moment we stop fighting for each other, [glares at Anheuser] that's the moment that we lose our humanity."

Anheuser

And in order to save the human race, we have an obligation to stick to this plan, which every nation on this flotilla has signed up for.

Helmsley

We have to let these people in-

Anheuser

They're in God's hands now!!! [to comms officer] Officer, you turn that off. That is an order sailor. Turn it off!

Don't you dare touch that button, young man!

Anheuser

Have you completely lost your mind? Look at the clock! [points to countdown] We have barely 15 minutes left. Do you wanna be responsible for the extinction of the human race? Can you handle that, Adrian?

Helmsley

There's a young astrophysicist from India who's the reason we're all here.

Anheuser

Oh, for God's sake.

Helmsley

He's the one who discovered it all. He connected all the dots. We all owe him our lives. I just learned that he was killed with his family in a tsunami in eastern India. [gets more emotional] He was my friend, and he died in vain. Everybody out there has died in vain if we start our future with an act of cruelty. What would you tell your children? What will they tell theirs?

If my father were here, he would open the gates.

The people of Russia [looks to fellow heads of state] along with China and Japan, agree... to open the gates.

The United Kingdom, Spain, France, Canada, Germany and I believe I may also speak for the Italian prime minister, we vote to let these people come in.

Helmsley

Captain Michaels. Please.

This is the captain. In a few moments, we will open the gates and get you people in. Please step back and clear the platform. [crowd cheers]

Impact warning. Thirty degrees west. Forty-five degrees east. Target elevation, 29,035 feet.

Carl Anheuser

Twenty-nine thousand feet? What the hell is at 29,000 feet!?

We're headed straight for the north face of Mount Everest, Mr. Anheuser and if we do not start our engines, we will not survive the impact.