Diedrich Bader movie quotes

35 quotes from 6 movies

Office Space (1999) as Lawrence

View Quote I gotta wake my ass up at 6am every morning this week--drive up to Las Colinas--yeah I'm doing the drywall at the new McDonalds.

View Quote Hey, Peter, man! Check out Channel 9! Check out this chick!

View Quote No. No man...Shit no. I believe somebody'd get their ass kicked for sayin something like that.

All 14 quotes from Lawrence »

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) as Rex

View Quote I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

View Quote Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!

View Quote At Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo! You need somebody watching your back AT ALL TIMES! Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? [gestures toward Napoleon]

All 9 quotes from Rex »

Surf's Up 2: WaveMania (2017) as Tank "The Shredder" Evans

View Quote Fight through the pain. It's part of your training.

View Quote [about his surfboard] This is Michelle. We've been together for about-- What is it, babe? --3 years now. I bought her at a garage sale. I saw her across the lawn and was like "Oh, yeah!". Don't get me wrong, I still ride other boards, y'know, but uh...but Michelle, she's special.

View Quote Tank: You should learn to surf from a real master. Right, gang?
Acolytes: Yes, sensei. [they fall like dominoes]
[a trophy falls on Tank's foot]
Tank: Ow! [hops away painfully]

All 5 quotes from Tank "The Shredder" Evans »

Open Season 2 (2008) as Rufus

View Quote Charlene: Oh, Rufus! [Points] There you are! How's my shinin' star?
Rufus: Why, Charlene, look at you! Don't you look prettier than a glob of butter on a stack of wheat cakes! Mm-mm-mm!
Charlene: Oh, goodness me! Thank you, Rufus. Oh, may I?
Rufus: Well, I'd be much obliged.
[Charlene sniffs Rufus' butt]

View Quote [Fifi is telling the story of him being scared by wild animals in bushes]
Fifi: I've lost 2 things that day: My innocence... and my squeaky toy.
Charlene: [Gasps] Oh, you poor, sweet thing!
Rufus: That is one sad tale.
Roger: I want a girlfriend!
Stanley: Don't interrupt now, please!

View Quote [During the musical number of "Close to You"]
Rufus and Charlene: [Singing] La la-la-la-la, close to you
[They put their faces together and stay like that]
Rufus: I love this song.

Surf's Up (2007) as Tank "the Shedder" Evans

View Quote A role model? No. But I consider myself somebody that everyone should look up to. Kids should try to pretend that they're Tank. I mean, they should try. [chuckles] Good luck, kids!

View Quote Tank needs fuel

View Quote I… I… Mom I… I wasn’t polishing, I was talking to my friends! (beat, turns to camera) I'm gonna be polishing later.

Meet the Spartans (2008) as Traitoro

View Quote My lord, he will tell Xerxes that Sparta is not for them, so whatever you do, don't be throwing him into the Pit of Death. (Leonidas does the exact opposite) Stop throwing people into the Pit of Death! Really!