Alyson Stoner movie quotes

View Quote (Sees Tess coming; sarcastically) Great, something wicked this way comes!

View Quote Hey, you must be hands five and six.

View Quote Oh, I don't (care)! But when I tell everyone, I want to get the story straight.

View Quote Tom: [to Football players] Get my kids and meet me at the house. Ready? Break!
[The football players begin to catch the Baker kids, one by one, and Tom sees Sarah in the bounce house]
Tom: Sarah Baker! Off now!
Sarah: No way!
Tom: Don't make me come up there!
[Sarah becomes shocked about her father trying to catch her in the bounce house and Tom goes into the bounce house to catch her, but ends up failing to catch her and the football players knock someone with an air tank and the air tank presses on the bounce house, causing it to over-inflate. Tom realizes the bounce house is about to explode]
Person in the bounce house: Oh, my God! It's gonna blow!
[The bounce house explodes as Tom, Sarah and the other people are launched into the air. The football players catch Sarah and the other kids. Dylan sees Tom falling towards him and screams as Tom lands on him, offscreen. Cut to Dylan being carried on a gurney at the hospital, with a black eye, chipped tooth and broken arm]
Dylan: It was my best birthday ever, Coach.
Tina: [angrily] Your children are never playing with Dylan again!
Tom: Sorry about your arm, Dylan.
(As Tina and Dylan head to the Hospital room and leave Tom, Tom hears his cell phone and gets a call from Shake)
Tom: Hello, Shake.
Shake: Any idea what this could do to my program? Don't speak. Listen. I don't want the players at your house, and I don't want your kids in the department.
(Tom turns off his cell phone and becomes depressed and sees the Newspeople)
Newsman: There he is! Coach! Coach! How will this impact Saturday's game? Coach, what do you have to say to reports that you're simply spreading yourself too thin?

View Quote [Tom has the kids gathered in the living room for having fights at school and not doing any chores around the house]
Tom: [angrily] All right, enough is enough. You're slacking on your chores, you're fighting at school, things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded.
Mike: What's grounded?
Tom: What's grounded? I'll tell you what grounded is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed, and that's it.
Sarah: But that--
Tom: Oh, yes, Sarah, I know, that sucks, but that's the way it is!
Jake: Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?
Tom: That's exactly what it means.
Kim: But we bought his presents already!
Tom: YOU ARE GOING TO MISS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [the kids are shocked into silence] Now, go to bed! [he Baker kids head their rooms, upset]

View Quote Sarah: [After knocking on the door to tell the other children the plan] I'm going to Dylan's birthday party. Who's with me?
The Baker Kids: Yeah!
(The children climb out of the window and bring presents to Dylan to enter the party without Tom noticing that they climbed out of the window and went to Dylan's birthday party)
Tina: Hi...oh! (the Baker kids gave each present to Tina)
Mark: Brazilian Mud Viper. She gets one live rat a week. (gives it to Tina).
Jake: Hey, Dylan. Wanna play catch with the football I got you?
Dylan: Uh, my nanny'd have to check with my dad... who'd have to check with my mom who would say it was an inappropriate use of free time.
Jake: Hmm. Sounds like a yes to me. Go get it, Mike.
(Mike runs to the present counter to get Jake's present, which knocks the snake that was in Mark's present)

View Quote Lorraine: [after Sarah asks her for some make-up help] Now, let's start with some lip gloss. [unleashes the lip gloss]
Sarah: PINK? Can't we put on like a skin color?
Lorraine: Hold still.

View Quote Tom: All right. From now on, no seeing the Murtaughs, no talking to the Murtaughs, no thinking about the Murtaughs!
Sarah: Can't we just compete and still like, see them?
Tom: No! Right now, I am not a father, I am a coach. And we're gonna be training twice a day, every day, starting outside in 10 minutes. No later.

View Quote Tom: So, Sarah, Eliot seems okay. I see why you like him.
Jake: Somebody's turning red.
Sarah: Shut up! You know, thanks a lot, Dad.
Tom: What did I say?
Kim: Men can be so clueless.
Kate: Honey, men are clueless. I'll go talk to her.
Lorraine: Mom, let me do this, okay? Trust me, I've got experience in the area of parental harassment. Hey, I totally know how you feel. How are you? Dad can be pretty hands-on, in-your-face sometimes, huh?
Sarah: Just leave me alone.
Lorraine: A, I'm never trying to help her again. And B, I cannot wait to move to New York.