Willy Weasel quotes from Willy's Wonderland (2021)

Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! [singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend. [speaking] That's right. [singing with other animatronics] Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy's is hoping you will stay. [speaking] Forever! [singing with other animatronics] It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! [speaking] Proudly serving families since 1984.

We’re All Friends. We Like to Play. Play, play, play every night and day. We’re All Friends. We Like to Sing. Sing, sing, sing; it’s a wonderful thing! We’re All Friends. We Like to Run. Run, run, run to the beat of the drum. We’re All Friends. We Like to Dance. Dance, dance, dance like there’s ants in our pants. [speaking] Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet? Well, what are you waiting for? [singing with other animatronics] The Super Happy Fun Room is super happy fun. Join us in the Fun Room, where you’ll be number one. Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs, soda and candy too. The Super Happy Fun Room.

And remember, friends, the party never ends! [offscreen, singing with other animatronics] At Willy's Wonderland!

Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! [singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, [offscreen, as Carl Hawthorne and Judy Hawthorne are in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's growls] and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [offscreen, speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [offscreen, singing with other animatronics, as Carl and Judy run in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's snarls. Willy Weasel growls] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.

Carl! [She runs into the dining area. Willy Weasel fights her while little Liv watches from the janitor's closet]

It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.

[Blood splatters on the T.V.]

Jed

You want God to laugh, you tell him your plans. [laughs]

Tex

Howdy there, partner. My name is Tex, same as the state. Got the handle Macadoo. Welcome to Willy’s Wonderland.

Jed

Yeah, he don’t talk much.

Tex

And I respect that. I enjoy a man of few words. [Janitor looks at the graffiti] Well, business is not what it used to be, but I am fixing to reopen and make Willy’s better than ever. Anyway, enough horseshit. Here’s my offer. You spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland and I will pay to have your car fixed. I go on in tomorrow, you come out of there, and your ride will be ready for you right there. Deal? [The Janitor stares at the "Willy's Wonderland" sign] If not, I got places to be. [Tex chuckles] All right. All right. [He chuckles] Let’s go inside.

Jed

Good luck, mister.

Tex

Watch your step. Check this out. [He turns on the T.V.]

Hey, kids, it’s Willy the Weasel. Welcome to my wonderland. Come on down and meet the gang. We’ve got Arty the Alligator, Siren Sara, Cammy the Chameleon, Gus Gorilla, Knighty Knight, Ozzie the Ostrich, and Tito the Turtle.[singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone. It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone.

Tex

We had some great times. Kids laughing, smiling, eating hot dogs, opening presents. You know the story, right? Well, some of these little bastards start crawling over the characters, they get hurt. A couple of lawsuits later from Mommy Safety Organizations and wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, we’re out of business. Shut us right down. [opens the janitor's closet] Damn thing always gets jammed. [sighs, turning on the light] Yeah. This stuff oughta do the trick. Broom, mop, bucket, drain snake, Windex, rags, whatever you need, we got it. [presents a Willy's Wonderland shirt] Oh, lookee here. Congratulations. You are officially on staff. [sighs] Well, pal, it’s gonna be dark soon. I’ll be back in the morning with that car of yours dapper and ready to drive or my name is not Tex Macadoo. [chuckles] Help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen. It’s on the house. And be sure to take breaks. Always good to pace yourself. That’s it. Good luck.

Chris

We go in, fast, we split up, and as soon as we find Liv and this janitor dude, we’re out.

Aaron

Hmm.

Chris

What, Aaron?

Aaron

We just don’t need any more Batman bullshit, all right?

Chris

Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I know. It’s only going to make it less safe for everyone else.

Dan

You mean kinda like Liv just did?

Chris

Excuse me?

Aaron

Say what you gotta say.

Bob

Speak up. Now’s the time, Dan. You ain’t gonna say it?

Chris

Do you guys have something in mind?

Bob

Hell, yeah, we do. Everything you telling us not to do, that’s exactly what your dream girl got us up here doing. And now we probably all getting **** up because of it.

Kathy

Bobby.

Bob

What? Am I lying? No, I’m not. It’s the truth.

Chris

Fine. I’ll just go myself.

Bob

Oh, whatever, Chris. When are you getting it through your thick-ass skull, huh? Kissing that ass ain’t gonna get you that ass, playboy. It’ll more than likely get you killed, and ain’t nobody, [to Kathy] except for you, baby, [to Chris] worth none of this bullshit you got us up here doing. So you know what? I’m out this bitch. [to Kathy] Baby, let’s go.

Aaron

No, Chris! Chris!

Bob

Oh, shit!

Kathy

Bobby!

Bob

God damn!

Chris

Everybody okay?

Aaron

Yeah.

Chris

Nice of you guys to join us.

Liv

Wait, what are you guys doing here?

Chris

Oh, my God. Liv, you’re alive.

Liv

I thought we all agreed you were supposed to stay outside and help us find a way out.

Chris

Yeah, uh…

Liv

Now, how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?

Chris

I tried to keep ’em on the roof, but they wouldn’t listen.

Bob

It’s your fault we were on the roof.

Chris

It’s my fault?

Bob

It was your fault.

We’re all friends. We like to play.

Liv

Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. [walking up to Siren Sara] Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.

Chris

Liv.

Play, play, play every night and day.

Liv

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Chris

Hey, what the hell, man?

Liv

What are you… dude!

We’re all Friends. We like to sing.

Chris

Put her down, okay?

Liv

I’m trying to help you, you dumbass! Seriously? I’m trying to help him understand that he’s gonna die in here, but he won’t listen to me.

Sing, sing, sing. It’s a wonderful thing!

Aaron

Wait a second. Wasn’t there eight of them?

We’re all friends. We like to run.

Aaron

Oh, that’s badass.

Liv

Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying?

Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls.

Aaron

Oh, shit.

I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. [singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. [their voices distort] It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone... [singing] Six little chickens at the end of the line. Six Little Chickens at the end of the line. One happy weasel says, "It's dinnertime!" Six little chickens gonna be just fine! Six little chickens in the weasel's den. Four little Roosters & A Couple of Hens. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Six Little Chickens at the END of the line! Six Little Chickеns. [speaking] Watch Out Now! [singing] Six little chickens [speaking] Herе comes the weasel! [singing] Six little chickens runnin' outta time WHOOPS!... Five little chickens at the END of the line!

Chris

Shit!

Dan

What the… holy ****! [grunts, slipping on Aaron's blood. Aaron falls flat on his back]

Liv

Go. Leave. Leave! [to Chris] Chris, go. [Liv's friends flee. Aaron breathes heavily] I’m sorry.

Sheriff Lund

That G.D. S.O.B. [the Janitor waves at her] Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. [to the Janitor, at gunpoint] Hold it right there, boy. Inside, now! [marches The Janitor into Willy's Wonderland] Move! We had a good thing, but you just went and f@%#$d it all up. Look at me. Look at me when I’m talking to you. All you had to do was die. Was that so hard? No, you just had to go ahead and stay alive, and now we got five dead kids because of you! You might have taken apart a few electronics, but I got a feeling that you can’t stop a round. [to Willy Weasel] Willy! [to the Janitor] Willy needs to eat, and I’m gonna feed him. [to Willy Weasel] Willy, come and get it!

Hey, kids, do you know what time it is? [distorting] It’s birthday time. [singing with other animatronics, as he brutally slashes around the Janitor into the chest] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking, distorted, throwing him into the ball pit] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.[speaking, distorted] That's right. [singing with other animatronics, distorted, walking away] Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy’s is hoping you will stay... [speaking with other animatronics] Forever. [singing with other animatronics, distorted, as the Janitor climbs out of the ball pit] It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! [speaking, distorted, as the Janitor goes to the kitchen to tape two mop sticks together and put his Punch energy drinks into a bag] Proudly serving families since 1984.
[The Janitor goes back to the dining area, roaring. The two fight, the Janitor pummeling Willy's head before tearing it off. He holds it]

Oh, mierda. ("Oh, shit.")

And remember, friends, the party never ends! [offscreen, singing with other animatronics] At Willy's Wonderland!