Dan quotes from Willy's Wonderland (2021)

View Quote [Liv's friends pull up in the truck]
Chris: Liv, you in there?
Liv: Oh, shit. Yeah, I’m in here. Can you help me out?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Aaron Powers: Okay, calm down, dude. No need to be a superhero.
Chris: [bumps the door] Oh!
Aaron: Oh, my God.
Chris: Oh, damn it! Oh!
Aaron: [opening the door] Nice one, genius. The door was unlocked.
Chris: How am I supposed to know that? [they all enter the trailer]
Aaron: Oh, shit. Let me see if we can find something to get you out of that.
Bob: She gave you a bucket? Bitch is wicked.
Chris: Liv, you okay?
Liv: Are you okay?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…
Aaron: I found a screwdriver.
Bob: What the hell are we gonna do with a screwdriver? Have y’all never worn handcuffs before?
Aaron: Oh, shut up.
Dan: Why not just look for the key?
Chris: [looks in the refrigerator] What the hell am I looking in the fridge for?[closes the refrigerator] God, these eggs are definitely bad. [as Kathy unlocks the handcuffs, using a hairpin] We need, like, a saw or a pliers or something.
Bob: Pliers? Can’t find no key in here.
Chris: Shut up and find something.
Bob: You shut up! You ain’t had no handcuffs on.
Liv: [clears throat] Gee, thanks for the help, guys.
Chris: Cool. We good.
Dan: Yo.
Liv: Come on. We’re late. I saw the bait already.
Chris: Where?
Liv: Well, he was with Jed in his truck. Probably locked inside Willy’s by now.
Bob: Well, let’s roll out. I wanna see that bitch burn.
Kathy: Yeah, burn, baby, burn.
Liv: Wait, guys, this isn’t for your entertainment, okay? It’s for doing what’s right.
Bob: It’s gotta be a little entertaining. Look, I wanna see them freak bastards die for what I see ’em do.
Aaron: Shut up, dude. What have you seen them do?
Bob: Remember that one time I was…
Liv: Okay, shut up. Guys. If we’re doing this, we’re gonna do this as a mission, not a field trip. Are you with me or not?
Chris: Yeah, we’re with you, Liv.
Aaron: Whatever you say.
Bob: Yeah.
Liv: All right. Let’s do this.
[Liv turns to flip the trailer off, and closes the door]

View Quote [All of Liv Hawthorne's friends are on the roof]
Chris: We go in, fast, we split up, and as soon as we find Liv and this janitor dude, we’re out.
Aaron: Hmm.
Chris: What, Aaron?
Aaron: We just don’t need any more Batman bullshit, all right?
Chris: Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I know. It’s only going to make it less safe for everyone else.
Dan: You mean kinda like Liv just did?
Chris: Excuse me?
Aaron: Say what you gotta say.
Bob: Speak up. Now’s the time, Dan. You ain’t gonna say it?
Chris: Do you guys have something in mind?
Bob: Hell, yeah, we do. Everything you telling us not to do, that’s exactly what your dream girl got us up here doing. And now we probably all getting **** up because of it.
Kathy: Bobby.
Bob: What? Am I lying? No, I’m not. It’s the truth.
Chris: Fine. I’ll just go myself.
Bob: Oh, whatever, Chris. When are you getting it through your thick-ass skull, huh? Kissing that ass ain’t gonna get you that ass, playboy. It’ll more than likely get you killed, and ain’t nobody, [to Kathy] except for you, baby, [to Chris] worth none of this bullshit you got us up here doing. So you know what? I’m out this bitch. [to Kathy] Baby, let’s go.
[Chris attacks Bob. They fight]
Aaron: No, Chris! Chris!
Bob: Oh, shit!
[Chris screams as the roof caves in. He and Bob fall through the roof into the ball pit]
Kathy: Bobby!
[All scream as the roof caves in. They fall through the roof into the ball pit. Chris groans]
Bob: God damn!
Chris: Everybody okay?
Aaron: Yeah.
Chris: Nice of you guys to join us.
Liv: [enters the dining area] Wait, what are you guys doing here?
Chris: Oh, my God. Liv, you’re alive.
Liv: I thought we all agreed you were supposed to stay outside and help us find a way out.
Chris: Yeah, uh…
Liv: Now, how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?
Chris: I tried to keep ’em on the roof, but they wouldn’t listen.
Bob: It’s your fault we were on the roof.
Chris: It’s my fault?
Bob: It was your fault.
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to play.
Liv: Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. [walking up to Siren Sara] Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.
Chris: Liv.
[Liv attempts stab Siren Sara in the face with her pocket knife, but the Janitor grabs her]
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Play, play, play every night and day.
Liv: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Chris: Hey, what the hell, man?
Liv: What are you… dude!
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all Friends. We like to sing.
Chris: Put her down, okay?
[The Janitor releases her]
Liv: I’m trying to help you, you dumbass! Seriously? I’m trying to help him understand that he’s gonna die in here, but he won’t listen to me.
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Sing, sing, sing. It’s a wonderful thing!
Aaron: Wait a second. Wasn’t there eight of them?
[Everyone turns to the six remaining animatronics]
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to run.
Aaron: Oh, that’s badass.

View Quote Liv: I know the bullshit story they told you. That if you clean up the place tonight, they’ll pay to have your tires fixed by morning, right? It’s a lie. They’ve said the same story to countless other over the last 20 years. They baited you. You’re here to be a human sacrifice. You’re here to be eaten and killed. Do you understand that? This town has a dark history. And it all starts with this horrible place. You know, Willy’s may seem like a happy-go-lucky child’s play place, but it’s much, much more than that. Willy’s was built in 1996, the brainchild of Jerry Robert Willis. If that name sounds familiar to you, it should. Jerry was one of the last century’s most sick and sadistic serial killers. Jerry spent most of the time cultivating similar sickos. I mean, these were the most depraved people you could ever imagine. Often, Jerry and his crew would whisk away unsuspecting families to the Super Happy Fun Room. Once inside, the families would be treated to a birthday cake and a private show by Willy Weasel. The shows would always end the same way. [Willis, in the Willy costume, stalks behind the birthday boy. He slashes his claws at the boy and kidnaps the boy's sister while their parents flee] After numerous missing persons reports and suspicious smells coming from the inside of Willy’s, the law felt it was time to investigate. [Sirens wail outside the restaurant] Jerry and his gang refused to be taken alive. After the police finally entered the Super Happy Fun Room, they discovered that Jerry and his crew had performed a satanic suicide ritual. Instead of surrendering, the killers decided to take their own lives. Those familiar with satanic rituals speculate that the suicide ritual was some sort of a Katra transfer of energy where the memory and consciousness of the living relocate into non-living entities. In this case, the animatronic robots. Ten years later, Willy’s reopens with a new owner, Tex Macadoo. He tries to keep the current public unaware of its horrific past. Things are wrong from the start. [A little girl hugs Gus Gorilla. Gus Gorilla grabs her] There’s reports that the creatures would move on their own. [A fat little boy is about to touch Siren Sara's breasts] Some would say things they weren’t programmed to say.
Siren Sara: [giggles] You really wanna ****, fatty?
[the fat little boy gasps]
Liv: [as Willy Weasel bites a little boy in the right shoulder] And others would kill and feast on customers. [The little boy cries] After several ghastly incidents, Willy’s closes its doors again. But Tex still doesn’t bulldoze it to the ground. Why, you may ask?
Aaron: Because Willy got to him.
Dan: Convinced him to make a deal with the devil. Along with all those other backwoods inbreds in this sorry town.
Chris: Speaking of backwoods inbreds, where’d Bob and Kathy go?

View Quote Liv: [to the Janitor] Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying?
Willy Weasel: [offscreen] Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls.
Aaron: Oh, shit.
[Liv Hawthorne and her friends run out into the dining area]
Willy Weasel: I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. [singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. [their voices distort] It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone... [singing] Six little chickens at the end of the line. Six Little Chickens at the end of the line. One happy weasel says, "It's dinnertime!" Six little chickens gonna be just fine! Six little chickens in the weasel's den. Four little Roosters & A Couple of Hens. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Six Little Chickens at the END of the line! Six Little Chickеns. [speaking] Watch Out Now! [singing] Six little chickens [speaking] Herе comes the weasel! [singing] Six little chickens runnin' outta time WHOOPS!... Five little chickens at the END of the line!
[Knighty Knight stabs Aaron in the back from behind, impaling him. Aaron groans as his stomach bleeds]
Chris: [offscreen] Shit!
Dan: What the… holy ****! [grunts, slipping on Aaron's blood. Aaron falls flat on his back]
Liv: [pushing Knighty Knight away] Go. Leave. Leave! [to Chris] Chris, go. [Liv's friends flee. Aaron breathes heavily] I’m sorry.