Tied for 5th most-quoted character in UHF (1989): in 4 of its 65 quotes
Scenes with Kuni
4 scenes
How could you do this to me? I knew this was gonna happen.
You're right, Bob. I'm sorry. What can I say? I-I'm a miserable worthless hunk of slime. Here, I want you to take this crowbar and just bash my head right in. Go ahead. Really. Just BASH my head right in.
George, you know I can't do that. You still owe me 5 bucks.
Kuni Hiya, George!
Beginner's class today, huh?
Kuni Yeah! They're so stupid! [A karate student is thrown out the window, it smashes and he falls to the pavement] STUPID!!!
You idiot! Can't you do anything I tell you to do?! Does this look like a Number 2 pencil?!
No... but... I just thought --
You thought?! I don't [snaps pencil in two] pay you to think!
Kuni Today, One of these lucky contestant wins his or her weight of fish. Right here on......
A Audience
WHEEL! OF! FISH!
Kuni Okay, Let's play the game! We start with yesterday's winner, Mrs. Phyllis Weaver.
Kuni [On the game show, "Wheel of Fish", Phyllis Weaver has just spun the wheel and landed on a red snapper]
Ahhh, a red snapper. Mmmmm, very tasty. Okay, Weaver, listen carefully. You can keep your red snapper...[Hiro-San emerges, carrying a table with a box]...or you can go for what's in the box that Hiro-San is bringing down the aisle right now!!! What's it gonna be? [Phyllis Weaver decides between the Red Snapper and the box. The audience points to the box]
PW Phyllis Weaver
I'll take the box. The box! [the audience applauds]
Kuni You took the box! Let's see what's in the box! [Hiro-san opens the box, and the audience gasps: the box is completely empty!] Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!
Kuni (and other karate experts) SUH-PLIIEES!!
