Louis Winthorp III [[to Penelope, as he is leaving jail]
Those men wanted to have sex with me!
Played by Dan Aykroyd 
Trading Places (1983) · 49 quotes
Trading Places (1983) · 49 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Trading Places (1983): in 14 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Billy Ray Valentine (8), Mortimer Duke (3), Coleman (3)
He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.
More lines from Louis Winthorp III
2 quotes Louis Winthorp III Louis Winthorp III I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.
Scenes with Louis Winthorp III
11 scenes Louis Randolph. Mortimer.
Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis [laughs]
Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.
Pawnbroker Burnt my fingers, man.
Louis I beg your pardon?
Pawnbroker Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'.
Louis Hot? Do you mean to imply stolen?
Pawnbroker I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
Louis Fifty bucks? No, no, no. This is a Rouchefoucauld. The thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is the sports watch of the '80s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty five dollars retail!
Pawnbroker You got a receipt?
Louis Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad.
Pawnbroker In Philadelphia, it's worth 50 bucks.
Louis Winthorpe III Just give me the money. [looking in display case] How much for the gun?
[watches Louis clean his shotgun]
You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis Why not?
'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.
Louis My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!
Unless somebody stops them...
...or beats them to it. [all turn and look at him] Egg-nog?
Louis Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!
Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both
Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Oh, memories!
Louis [after giving the secret knock]
Who is it?
Open the door, man!
Louis [approaching the New York Commodities Exchange]
Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
Yeah, we got to kill the motherf... - we got to kill 'em!
Louis [after ruining the Dukes]
Happy New Year!
Hey! How'd y'all make out today?
How could you do this to us after everything we've done for you?
Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poor house at the same time. He didn't think we could do it. I won.
Louis [grinning]
I lost... One dollar.
Thank you, Louis.
Louis After you.
Certainly.
Louis Looking good, Billy Ray!
Feeling good, Louis!
[Louis attacks and starts choking Billy Ray, thinking he's responsible for ruining his life]
Oh, dear!
Louis You're a DEAD MAN, Valentine!!! [Coleman and Ophelia pull him off Valentine]
[Gasping]
It was an experiment! They used us as guinea pigs, man! [Louis calms down] The Dukes used us as guinea pigs, to see how our lives would turn out. They made a bet.
I'm afraid it's true, sir.
I believe him, Louie.
Louis The Dukes … ruined my life … over a bet. For how much?
A dollar.
Louis One dollar. Fine. That's the way they want it? No problem.
Where's Beeks? Where in the hell is Beeks?
Louis [to Billy Ray]
Beeks!
Dock worker #1
[Tramp steamer. Beeks is still gagged and bound in a gorilla costume, and caged with the male gorilla from the train]
Okay, one male gorilla.
Dock worker #2
Wait a minute. There's two of them in that cage.
Dock worker #1
One gorilla, two gorillas. Big deal. Whole bunch is getting sent back to Africa. It's a big scientific experiment. What do I know? Anyway, take a look. They're in love.
[The male gorilla grunts contentedly]
