Beeks Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.
Billy Ray Valentine
Eddie Murphy · 25 quotes
Louis Winthorp III
Dan Aykroyd · 14 quotes
Mortimer Duke
Don Ameche · 14 quotes
Randolph Duke
Ralph Bellamy · 14 quotes
Coleman
Denholm Elliott · 7 quotes
Ophelia
Jamie Lee Curtis · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Mortimer Duke & Randolph Duke (11), Billy Ray Valentine & Louis Winthorp III (8), Billy Ray Valentine & Randolph Duke (7)
Trading Places quotes
Page 1 of 4 Beeks
Bunny
And she stepped on the ball.
Corrupt Cop [Takes some PCP out of a baggie and tastes it]
That's PCP! Phenycyclidine. Angel dust! You ever seen what this stuff does to kids? You're looking at 5 to 10 mandatory... Louis!
Even Bigger Black Guy
It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.
Harvey Monkey? MONKEY! I'm a **** gorilla, you clown!
This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!
Officer Reynolds
[to Louis]
Strip, you little shit, before I tear you a new asshole!
[noticing Louis watch her undress]
By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.
Big Black Guy You beatin' 10 cops. How come I don't see no bruises on you?
'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking mother****er! So get outta my face!
It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman
NO!
[Billy Ray is in jail]
I wish my bitches would get here. I ain't got time to be sitting in this cell with you.
Big Black Guy Where are your bitches, Mr. Big-Time Pimp?
[to Cellmate #2]
Didn't I tell you that the phone in my limousine is busted, and I can't get in contact with my bitches?
Cellmate #2 [to Big Black Guy]
Yeah! The phone in the limo was busted. What is ya, ignorant?
[watches Louis clean his shotgun]
You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Why not?
'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.
Merry New Year!
Beeks That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!
No thanks, guys, I already had breakfast this morning.
This is not a meal, Valentine. We are here to try to explain to you what it is we do here.
We are commodities brokers, William. Now, what are commodities? Commodities are agricultural products. Like coffee, that you had for breakfast, … wheat, which is used to make bread, … pork bellies, which is used to make bacon - which you might find in a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. [Billy Ray turns and gives a long look at the camera] And then there are other commodities, like frozen orange juice, … and gold. Though, of course, gold doesn't grow on trees like oranges. [He chuckles] Clear so far?
Good, William! Now, some of our clients are speculating that the price of gold will rise in the future. And we have other clients who are speculating that the price of gold will fall. They place their orders with us, and we buy, or sell, their gold for them.
Tell him the good part.
The good part, William, is that, no matter whether our clients make money or lose money, Duke & Duke get the commissions.
Well? What do you think, Valentine?
Sounds to me like you guys a couple of bookies!
What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.