Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

142 total quotes

Cal Naughton, Jr.
Glenn
Jean Girard
Lucius

Multiple Characters
Reese Bobby
Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger Bobby
Walker Bobby

View Quote Bill Weber: Ricky Bobby wins! You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes! It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but, man, that was something!

View Quote Speed News Announcer: Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his prize-winning horses, who are also gay.

View Quote Opening title card: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed. - Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936.

View Quote Ricky: Cal, you could say that 10,000 times, and it still wouldn't be enough.
Cal: It fires me up, man.
Ricky: I know, say it one more time.
Cal: Shake and Bake!
Carley: Whoo!
Ricky: Doesn't that feel good?
Cal: Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs...it's awesome!

View Quote Walker: Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
Texas Ranger: I don't even know what that means, but I love it!

View Quote Jean: Monsieur "Booby", by defeating me today, you have set me free. And for that, I thank you. [He offers his hand to Ricky]
Ricky: [shoving Girard's hand away] I will never shake your hand. Ever. But I will give you this...[he passionately kisses Girard]
Jean: Sir...you taste...of America.
Ricky: Thank you. [Girard leans in for another kiss] Noooo...once was good. Once was good.

View Quote Ricky: [after Reese offers to help him go fast again] Fine. I'll do it. But I ain't callin' you Daddy.
Reese: Well, what are you gonna call me then?
Ricky: [later] All right, Professor Dickweed, what's the plan?

View Quote Cal: Hey, when you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time, how do you control the volume on the T.V.?
Ricky: Why would you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time?
Cal: 'Cause I like to party.

View Quote Ricky: No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop!
Jean: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

View Quote Chip: Ricky, remember: The fieldmouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. [maniacal laughter]
Cal: That's kinda creepy, ain't it?

View Quote Mike Joy: Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push, has a huge Fig Newtons sticker on his windshield.
Darrell Waltrip: I think NASCAR'll give him the black flag for that.
Mike Joy: He sold the windshield!
Ricky: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.

View Quote Jarvis: Cal, you should probably pay attention. I think he's passing you.
Cal: Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious?
Jarvis: No, he's actually passin' you! That's happenin' right now!

View Quote Glenn: So, I was talking to Nana on Saturday. Her birthday's coming up, and I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88...
Kyle: Get her a coffin.

View Quote Susan: Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. I painted the car, I...we had sex.
Reese: You did?
Susan & Ricky: Yeah.
Reese: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.

View Quote Ricky: Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden, fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...
Chip: He was a man! He had a beard!
Ricky: I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?! I win the races and I get the money! I work too hard for your bull, Chip.