Junior quotes from Storks (2016)

View Quote [first lines of the film; narrating] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... [We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies] From their perch on Stork Mountain. [We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying] It was an honor and a privilege to serve. [We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.

View Quote If anyone finds out about this, I am dead meat! My hopes of becoming boss (will be) destroyed!

View Quote [to the penguins; as he and Tulip prepare for a quiet fight] Put down that baby!

View Quote That's insane! You need to deliver her!

View Quote An annoying person asked me once why I want to be boss. Well, I never knew why until today. Baby delivery is our true calling. This is not just a bunch of metal and glass and whatever that giant magical crystal thing is made out of. This is the heart of what Storks were put on this earth to do. This is our mission. We pride ourselves on customer service. Well this is a family that never got the baby they asked for. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. Always deliver!

View Quote Junior: [first lines of the film; narrating] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... [We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies] From their perch on Stork Mountain. [We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying] It was an honor and a privilege to serve. [We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.

View Quote Toady: [shows Junior a picture of a Goose on his phone] Check out my girlfriend! She's in Canada!
Junior: Yeah huh.
Toady: She migrated, she's not made up.
Junior: Okay.
Toady: [waving his phone around] Look at her, look at her! She exists, brah!
Junior: That's great.

View Quote Hunter: Junior, you know why I built my office entirely out of glass even though birds can't see glass?
Junior: I do not.
[two storks fly smack into the glass]
Hunter: Power move. 18 years ago, I saved all storks by getting out of babies and into package delivery. Now, this Monday at Storkcon, the board will announce they're kicking me upstairs.. I'm going to be named Chairman. Which means you are going to be named boss.

View Quote Junior: Excuse me! Orphan Tulip?
Tulip: Junior, you're talking to me?
Junior: Yes, Orphan Tulip!
Tulip: No, it's ju- Uh, it's just that you never talk to me.
Junior: Well, yeah, that's changing starting today, Orphan Tulip.
Tulip: Oh, uh, Tulip is just fine, Orphan hurts my heart.

View Quote Junior: Oh boy. Uh, Tulip, OK. I have news for you.
Tulip: Before you finish, for you to come to wish me a happy birthday, that's just the nicest, you know it's like a little rainbow. So, thank you. [sniffs] That's really nice. But, oh, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What were you gonna tell me?
Junior: Uh...Oh boy. I have wonderful news for you. You have been liberated.
Tulip: What does that mean?
Junior: Well, it means that you are [softly, faster] fired.
Tulip: What?
Junior: You're fir...[stuttering; grunting]
Tulip: Are you okay?
Junior: Excuse me. You're fi...You're fantasic!
Tulip: Really? Because I just blew up the most of the factory.
Junior: Oh yeah. What a twist. Um...Well, it means [a scene pans over the baby factory] Oh!

View Quote Tulip: [singing] Baby, what are we gonna call you, baby? This is crazy! We're delivering a baby!
Junior: No, we're delivering a package. Maybe we should name it instead of calling the package. We do not name the package, OK? We make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. And we get back to Storkcon, so, the board can name me boss.
Tulip: Whoa, it's so exciting! What can we expect from boss Junior?
Junior: [lowers Tulip's hand] Oh, you know it's top secret. [guffaws]
Tulip: You can tell me, come on.
Junior: It's gonna be big.
Tulip: Like, what? Like what? How big? Like, what are you gonna do?
Junior: I prefer we're gonna talk about it right now.
[both laugh]
Tulip: Do you not know?
Junior: What?
Tulip: Oh, my gosh, you don't know.
Junior: [offscreen] I know.
Tulip: [gasps] If you don't know, why do you want to be boss?
Junior: I know.
Tulip: You don't? [laughing with Junior] All man, you laugh when you're uncomfortable.
Junior: [laughing] No.
Tulip: Am I pushing your buttons?
Junior: Uh, no.
Tulip: Yes, I am.
Junior: Nah, no.
Tulip: [laughing] Beep, beep, Boop, boop, beep, beep...
Junior: No, those aren't even where my buttons would be if I had buttons.
Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...
Junior: Nice try.
Tulip: [robotic voice] I am programming you to tell me why you want to be boss.
Junior: [robotic voice] I love robots, so this is fun.
Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...
Junior: We're having a good time together.
Tulip: Why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss?
Junior: BACK OFF!!!
Tulip: AAAAAAGH!! [Junior gets Tulip back on the plane after her hat and goggles blew off]
Junior: Wow! Well, that was funny. You almost died. I guess the lesson we learned today is... don't ask me why I want to be boss, right? [chuckles] Okay, good talk.

View Quote Tulip: Look at the baby!
Junior: NO! Just a brief exposure to baby cuteness can ruin your life!
[both look at the pink-haired baby girl]
Tulip and Junior: Awww!

View Quote [Junior, Tulip and Diamond Destiny get across a bridge and cut it so that the Wolf Pack can't get across]
Junior: Suck it, wolves!
Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf bridge!
Junior: What is happening?
Tulip: The wolves are forming a suspension bridge.
Junior: How is that possible?
Tulip: I don't know.

View Quote Junior: We're not like a family; we're just a guy and girl trying to put a baby to sleep.

View Quote [Junior smacks into a glass pathway]
Junior: My old nemesis: glass!
Tulip: [gasps] Birds can't see glass!

View Quote Policeman: This is not code.
Nate: [Henry and Sarah gasp] What?!
Policeman: It's all have come down.
Junior: [Hunter opens the door; gasps] Hunter?
Hunter: You're fired.
Junior: [stammers] But, but-but-but...
Hunter: [mockingly] "But, but-but-but-but..." You are so idiotic. How were you not suspicious? [the screen zooms out to reveal a fake house in front of two warehouses]
Junior: I thought this was a gentrifying neighborhood.
Toady: Didn't expect to see you here, brah! Oh, yes, I did. I set it up.
Hunter: Seize the thing!
[penguins squeak and take Diamond Destiny]
Junior: Wait, no! Not the baby!
Hunter: Don't worry, she's gonna be fine. She's with penguins. There are whole documentaries about how great they are at baby-sitting!
[a scene where a penguin in a snowy storm, a walrus ate it and except the egg]
Hunter: And she'll be an excellent swimmer. And then when she's old enough, we'll return her to the human world.
Junior: That's insane! You need to deliver her!
Hunter: We can't let it get out that we accidentally made a baby! Our stock would plummet everything we've built. My entire company will fall apart. Those parents can never find out.
Toady: Okay we're ready to go. [as he puts a pink bonnet on a tied up Junior and puts a pacifier in his beak] Who's the baby now?
Hunter: Good enough.
[Diamond Destiny cries as she looks back at Junior as she gets abducted by the penguins as Junior muffled screaming]
[A penguin shuts the door]

View Quote Junior: Put down that baby!
Penguin: Shhh!
[points out the infant is asleep; a silent fight starts]