The Royal Tenenbaums quotes

105 total quotes

Chas Tenenbaum
Eli Cash
Etheline Tenenbaum

Margot Tenenbaum
Multiple Characters
Richie Tenenbaum
Royal Tenenbaum

View Quote Raleigh tells me you've been spending six hours a day locked up in here, watching television and soaking in the tub.

View Quote Royal: Everyone's against me.
Pagoda: It's your fault, man.
Royal: I know, but dammit, I want this family to love me. How much money you got?
Pagoda: I don't have.
Royal: What? You're Broke? You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna pay for this room?
[Pagoda shrugs]
Royal: Alright, I'll think of something.

View Quote I know you Asshole!

View Quote Eli: What'd you say?
Richie: Hmm? I didn't say anything.
Eli: When? Right now?

View Quote Eli: I'm very sorry, Margot.
Margot: It's okay. We're not actually related anyway.
Eli: True.

View Quote Royal: You always put raising the kids before everything else.
Etheline: I tried to. Lately I'm feeling like I might not've done such a good job.

View Quote Royal: Can we get somebody over here to kill these mice for us?
Margot: No. They belong to Chas. Or anyway he invented them.
Royal: Get him to stick them in a ****ing cage or something.

View Quote Eli: You never even gave me the time of day till I started getting good reviews.
Margot: Your reviews weren't that good.
Eli: But the sales are.

View Quote Eli Cash: You never gave me the time of day until I started getting good reviews.
Margot Tenenbaum: Your reviews aren't that good.

View Quote Eli: How's Richie?
Margot: I don't know. I can't tell.
Eli: Yeah, me neither. He wrote me a letter. He says he's in love with you.
Margot: What are you talking about?
Eli: That's what he said. I don't know how we're supposed to take it.

View Quote Royal: Which one are you?
Ari: Ari
Royal: Uzi, I'm your grandfather.

View Quote Eli: I'm not in love with you any more.
Margot: I didn't ever know that you were.
Eli: Let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.

View Quote [Royal tells his children of his impending divorce]
Richie: Is it because of us?
Royal: Well, of course, certain sacrifices had to be made as a result of having children. But lord, no.

View Quote [immediately after wrecking his car] Where's my shoe?

View Quote To tell you the truth, I haven't slept with a man in eighteen years.