He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was fourteen.
5th most-quoted character in The Royal Tenenbaums (2001): in 16 of its 107 quotes
Most scenes with: Royal Tenenbaum (4), Richie Tenenbaum (4), Etheline Tenenbaum (3)
Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp.
More lines from Chas Tenenbaum
3 quotesPlease don't come in this room.
Uzi! Look alive!
Scenes with Chas Tenenbaum
12 scenesChas? What's going on?
We got locked out of our apartment.
Well, did you call a locksmith?
Uh huh.
Well, I don't understand. Did you pack your bags BEFORE you got locked out?
It's not safe there.
What are you talking about?
The apartment. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed.
But there are no sprinklers here either.
We might have to do something about that too.
I need help...
Me, too.
You know, Rachel's buried there too.
Who?
My wife.
Oh. That's right, isn't it? Well, we'll have to swing by her grave too.
I got a pretty bad case of cancer.
How long you gonna last?
Not long.
A month? A year?
About six weeks. Let me get to the point, the three of you and your mother are all I've got and I love you more than anything.
[Chas scoffs and mock laughs] Oh ho! Ho ho!
Chas, let me finish here! I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
No.
Do you speak for everyone?
I speak for myself.
Well you've had your say, now it's someone else's turn.
What'd you think, Dad?
Didn't seem believable to me.
He has permission to sleep over.
Well, did you at least think the characters were well developed?
What characters? It's just a bunch of little kids dressed up in animal costumes.
Good night, everyone.
Well, sweetie, don't get mad at me. That's just one man's opinion.
Who's your father?
His name is Royal Tenenbaum.
You told us he was already dead.
Yeah, well now he's really dying.
Please! Mr. Sherman, this is a family matter.
Don't talk to him like that.
Call me Henry.
I prefer Mr. Sherman.
Call him Henry.
Why? I don't know him that well.
You've known him for ten years.
Yes, as your accountant, Mr. Sherman.
I think he's very lonely. Lonelier than he lets on. Maybe lonelier than he even realizes.
Have you spoken to him about this?
Briefly. And he agreed that -
I'm sorry, maybe I'm a little confused here. What are you suggesting?
That he come here and stay in my room.
Are you out of your mind?
No. I'm not. Anyway I think he'd be much more comfortable here than at -
Who gives a shit?
I do.
You poor sucker. You poor, washed up papa's boy.
Looks like you and Dad are back together again, huh.
He's your dad too, Chas.
No, he's not.
Yes, he is.
You really hate me, don't you?
No. I don't. I love you.
Well, I don't know what you think you're gonna get out of this, but believe me, whatever it is, it's not worth it.
Chas. I don't want to hurt you. I know what you and the boys have been through. You're my brother and I love you.
Stop saying that!
I wrote a suicide note.
You did?
Right after I regained consciousness.
Can we read it?
No.
Can you paraphrase it for us?
I don't think so.
Was it dark?
Of course it's dark, it's a suicide note.
Did I hit the dog?
Yeah.
Is he dead?
Yeah.
...I need help.
So do I.
I've had a rough year, Dad.
I know you have, Chassie.
Other characters in The Royal Tenenbaums
More Ben Stiller characters
Derek Zoolander
White Goodman
Alex the Lion
David Starsky
Mr. Furious
Gaylord 'Greg' Focker
Larry Daley
Tony Perkis Jr
