[about Margot's play]

What'd you think, Dad?

Didn't seem believable to me.

[to Eli]

Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you live here?

He has permission to sleep over.

Well, did you at least think the characters were well developed?

What characters? It's just a bunch of little kids dressed up in animal costumes.

Good night, everyone.

Well, sweetie, don't get mad at me. That's just one man's opinion.