The Royal Tenenbaums quotes

View Quote [Chas Tenenbaum and his sons enter his mother's house with several bags]
Ethel: Chas? What's going on?
Chas: We got locked out of our apartment.
Ethel: Well, did you call a locksmith?
Chas: Uh huh.
Ethel: Well, I don't understand. Did you pack your bags BEFORE you got locked out?
Chas: It's not safe there.
Ethel: What are you talking about?
Chas: The apartment. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed.
Ethel: But there are no sprinklers here either.
Chas: We might have to do something about that too.

View Quote Royal: Look, I know I'm gonna be the bad guy on this one. But I just wanna say the last six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life.
Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.

View Quote Goddammit, that's the last time you stick a knife in me! You hear me?

View Quote I didn't think so much of him at first, but now I get it. He's everything I'm not.

View Quote Do you copy Anonymous?!

View Quote Richie Tenenbaum: You dropped some cigarettes.
Margot Tenenbaum: Those aren't mine.
Richie Tenenbaum: They just fell out of your pocket.

View Quote Royal: He's got them locked up in there, crunching numbers! Boys need to be out and scrapping and mixing it up!
Etheline: I think that's terrible advice.
Royal: No you don't.

View Quote Royal: I'm dying, baby. I'm sick as a dog. I'll be dead in six weeks. I'm dying.
Ethel: What are you talking about? What happened? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I didn't know. What'd they say? What's the prognosis?
Royal: Take it easy, Ethel. Hold on. Hold on.
Ethel: Where's the doctor? Let's get -
Royal: Wait a second. Listen. I'm not dying. But I need some time. A month. Maybe two. I want us to -
Ethel: What's wrong with you?
Royal: Ethel.
Ethel: Go away!
Royal: Baby. I am dying.
Ethel: Are you or aren't you?
Royal: Dying? Yes.

View Quote I'm going to kill myself tomorrow.

View Quote Uzi! Look alive!

View Quote Read it back to me, Pietro.

View Quote Raleigh: You made a cuckold of me.
Margot: I know.
Raleigh: Many times over.
Margot: I'm sorry.

View Quote Eli: I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her. She's married you know.
Richie: Yeah.
Eli: And she's your sister.
Richie: Adopted.

View Quote Oh, that's right. We got another body buried here.

View Quote Royal: I thought I'd start by taking you out to visit your grandmother.
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now!