Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Because this is a very big idea my friends. We're talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood where community status and more importantly age have no bearing whatsoever.
Played by Vince Vaughn 
Old School (2003) · 105 quotes
Old School (2003) · 105 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Old School (2003): in 40 of its 105 quotes
Most scenes with: Mitch Martin (7), Frank 'The Tank' Ricard (6)
Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about, and I can barely read. I can't. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. You think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a **** marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.
More lines from Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell
24 quotes Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell What we need to do is throw a big kick off, kick ass party.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie? Touch my pa pa
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man; you have one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frankie. Way to think it through.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Well, why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell [to Frank's father in law]
It takes a man to give away an angel. Your sweetheart. [wink]
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell I know a really good sand guy.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he's crushing ass every Thursday night at our mixers.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hang out with nineteen year old girls everyday?
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Guys this is a very special occasion. The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps twenty feet away.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Don't say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly you let down Max. And right about now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over... [to Max] Max can you earmuff it for me? [to Mitch] That whore you dated.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell That party that we had last night has given us a lot of street cred.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Good luck to everybody. Nice to know you all and I'll see you around campus.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Mitch is a laywer, buddy. He'll find a way out for us.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell You're the lady, Marissa! High five.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell No. That's a piece of crap. What? We stopped selling that six months ago. Lotta Complaints, nice gesture though, I think.
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell [While performing the iron cross and smoking a cigarette]
Still holding! STILL HOLDING!
Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell Columbus wasn't exactly looking for America, but that seemed to work out for everyone.
Scenes with Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell
15 scenes
What will you have to do with the university?
Beanie Legally speaking there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
Who's this guy?
Beanie Oh, that's Blue. He's an old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry about him, he's legit.
He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?
Beanie You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it.
I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some **** sleep.
Beanie I...I don't know why you gotta do it...in front of the kid, with the f'in. All you gotta do is say earmuffs to him, [to kid] "earmuffs", and you can say "****, shit, bitch"...whatever you want.
****. Balls.
Beanie OK. I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it, Frank.
Beanie Spanish what the hell are you doing?
Spanish I'm just going to get some water. This suit is crazy hot, yo.
Beanie Put your head back on. That can be very traumatic for the kids.
Spanish You're right, I'm sorry, sir.
Beanie Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that.
Beanie Girls love a guy who's in your situation.
What situation?
Beanie Mitch. You're on the rebound. You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be released back into the wilderness.
Yea, I'm cool either way. I just have to run it by Marissa.
Beanie Not funny. Not funny. And now the baby is upset.
I wasn't looking for a girl like that.
Beanie Well Columbus wasn't looking for America my man, but that seems to have worked out for everybody didn't it?
I just wanna tell you guys thanks for being here. Best day ever.
Beanie Frank, you need to walk away from this right now.
A professor lived here for like thirty years and died.
Beanie That's awesome.
Beanie Don't say sorry to me, Frank. Say it to the baby.
Sorry, baby.
So what are you? Campus security?
Dean Pritchard
Try again.
Beanie Jehovah's Witness?
Dean Pritchard
I'm the Dean. Dean Pritchard.
...
Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard
Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie Who's this guy?
Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard
Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard
Yea, I got out.
Beanie Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Beanie Weensie, you're on lifeguard duty.
Weensie Sir, I can't swim, sir.
Speak when spoken to.
Beanie Whose life is ruined?
Let's see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I've lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school and you're not even gonna help them out.
I had an awesome time!
Beanie Frank, I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows you had an awesome time. I'm trying to ask our friend Mitch if he had a good time.
Beanie Can you do me a favor and tell Mitch it's perfectly okay to have sex with a 17-year-old?
Lara Campbell
Oh, yeah. It's fine, if you're 18 or you live in Louisiana.
