Samir Nagheenanajar [stuck in traffic]
Mother... shitter... son of an... ass. Just... [punches steering wheel]
Played by Ajay Naidu 
Office Space (1999) · 91 quotes
Office Space (1999) · 91 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Office Space (1999): in 15 of its 91 quotes
Most scenes with: Michael Bolton (9), Peter Gibbons (8), Tom Smykowski (2)
"Back up in your ass with tha resurrection." [reffering to the song they were listening to while they were drinking]
More lines from Samir Nagheenanajar
3 quotes Samir Nagheenanajar Samir Nagheenanajar Peter, you a very BAD person.
Samir Nagheenanajar This is a... ****!
Scenes with Samir Nagheenanajar
11 scenes
Hey, guys.
What's up, G?
Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee?
Samir Oh, it's a little early.
I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it.
Female Temp
Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.
What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?
Samir It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh, because I'm a big pussy... which is why I work at Initech to begin with.
Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK?
Samir Yes, I am also not a pussy.
Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir So what did you say?
I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
No, you're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.
Samir You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in various mutual funds and take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities and—
Samir, you're missing the point. It's supposed to tell you what you'd do if...PC Load Letter! What the **** does that mean?
You think the pet rock was a really great idea?
Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago.
Really, what was it, Tom?
Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.
That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.
Samir Yes, this is horrible, this idea.
Samir No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window.
You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed.
Samir Piece of shit.
Samir No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Samir, this is America. This isn't Riyadh; they're not going to saw your hands off.
The most they would do is put us for a few months into a white-collar, minimum-security resort! You know, they have conjugal visits there?
Samir They do?
Shit. I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months.
Samir I have a question.
Yes?
Samir In... in these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women?
Yep, you sure can.
Samir OK, I'll do it.
Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir Of course.
Agreed
Who the **** is that?
Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool.
Samir Is there some way to just give the money back?
What? You mean just hand them a check for the exact amount they're missing? I think they'd figure that out.
I've been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this? [gives Peter a printout of an email] I knew it. I knew it!
What, it's a staff meeting. So what?
So, what? We're all screwed, that's what! They're gonna downsize Initech!
Samir Nagheenanajar What're you talking about, Tom? Now, how do you know that?
How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant, that's how I know! That's what this staff meeting's all about! It happened at Intitrode last year. You have to interview with this consultant; they call them "efficiency experts", but what you're really doing is interviewing for your own job!
Tom, every week you say you're gonna lose your job, and you're still here.
Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with those SCUMBAGS!
