Surly quotes from The Nut Job (2014)

View Quote [first lines of the film; voice over] When you're an animal, life's a balancing act. Each day is a quest to find food to survive. It's a tough nut to crack. Wait... you think I'm one of those pigeons? No, no, no, no. This is me right here. I mean, I got no problem with my feathered friends. (In fact, I get a real kick out of 'em.) They're really soft on the feet. And they're always building these little picnic baskets that offer the occasional treat. Apparently, not today. Thanks for nothin'. At the end of the day, I'm just like all you fine people. I'm no hero. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut. Oh, and that's my buddy named... well, Buddy. He don't talk much. Yeah, they say the world's there for the taking. So that's just what we're gonna do.

View Quote Okay, we get in, we fill our bellies, but we do it my way.

View Quote Buddy, we found it! The lost city of Nutlantis!

View Quote We dig here, from the alley into the basement.

View Quote We're talking almonds, pistachios, walnuts, Brazils. [King: Enough cashews to buy yourselves a racetrack.] And did I mention the peanut brittle? [Johnny: Is that a candy, or a nut?] [chuckles] Both.

View Quote I gotta tell ya, the nerve of those bums. The nerve of those bums! [mockingly] "Raccoon would approve of this." Oh really?! Raccoon?! That guy?! HE'S A BIGGER THIEF THAN I AM! But those blockheads can't see it. They're blind as Mole. I'm the brains of this outfit! I'm the guy with the...the brains! Did I already say that? Raccoon's nothing but a lyin' old sack of fur! WHAT?!

View Quote [referring to Grayson] Buddy, watch him. And keep him away from sharp objects.

View Quote [mousetrap] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! Omf! [Precious barking] [Lucky: Shut her up, Fingers!] [Fingers: I got this.]

View Quote YOU DON'T NEED A CAPE! I can't help the park alone. I'm not a hero, but you are. Last summer during that heatwave, who discovered that broken sprinkler so everyone could have water? [Grayson: I did?] That's right. They believe in heroes. So snap out of it and be one! It's hero time.

View Quote [last lines of the film; voice over] Yeah, they say life's there for the taking. But the truth is, life's really there for the sharing. Once you realize that, you might discover there's a little hero in all of us. After all, we're all a little nuts.

View Quote Raccoon: The tally is in! The food collected in the trunk of our oak tree... [the other animals gasp] ...will not be enough to carry us through winter.
Redline: [as the other animals chatter in disappointment] I knew it, we're gonna die!
Raccoon: Settle down! Settle down now, please!
Sparrow: RACCOON!
Mole: Shh! Raccoon's giving a speech.
Raccoon: [as he descends from the trunk] Though this outlooks appears disheartening...
Sparrow: EXCUSE ME! ANDIE AND GRAYSON ARE...
Mole: Tee-tee-tee-tee!
Sparrow: YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME!
Mole: Ba-ba-ba-ba!
Raccoon: [turns to the animals] ...this park will persevere! Take heart, park brethren. [the other animals look behind Raccoon] There is hope.
Sparrow: RACCOON!!!
Mole: [grabs the Sparrow] Quiet! [repeats thrice]
Sparrow: I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO POINT OUT THAT... [laughs nervously]
Raccoon: Grayson's never let us down before. I believe he's on his way, right at this very moment, carrying...
Mole: [drops the Sparrow] FLAMING CART OF NUTS!!!
Raccoon: [turns around, sees a nut cart on fire flying across the park] What? [the other animals panic] Our food! It'll be destroyed!
Mole: [picks up the Sparrow] WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?! [drops Sparrow again]
Raccoon: Abandon tree! ABANDON TREE!!!
[the nut cart bounces off the tree, lands on the mill wheel, sends itself in the air, Andie drops off]
Grayson: [opens the haul, sees he's about to crash in the tree] NOT MY PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL FACE! AAAAAAAHH!!! [the nut cart lands]
[the other animals sigh in relief, then the tree explodes, creating popcorn launching from it]
Mole: Grayson? Grayson?! Where are you?!
Raccoon: What happened here? [picks up charred nuts, crumbles them in his hands in frustration] Who is responsible for this?!
Surly: Let go of me, you clowns! You're making a big mistake here! I got an alibi! Unh, I got witnesses! [the twins throw him]
Johnny: Found him hiding in one of our holes, just like a snake.
Surly: I was recovering buried nuts. That what I was doi... [sniffs the air] You smell, like, burnt nuts or somethin'? That me? [as he turns around] What's goin' ooooo... [laughs] Look at that! Ha-ha! You guys are messed for winter, man! I mean, wow! Just look at that bonfire! You didn't see that comin', did ya?
Grayson: [lands on Surly, gets up immediately] Never fear, this sweet body is undamaged! [faints]
Andie: Raccoon, let me organize a trial. Just give the order.
Pigeon: Another trail?! He's never learned!
Jimmy: He needs something more severe!
Jamie: He is a clear and present danger!
Surly: Yug...!
Andie: No! No, we do things by the rule of law. Let justice take care of him.
Raccoon: They want justice, Andie, and justice they will receive. [Cardinal lands on his shoulder, he turns to the other animals] All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!
Surly: [gets up] Banishment?
Andie: Banishment?
Grayson: Bandages? Yes, please.
[the other animals hesitate]
Raccoon: Why are you hesitating? He's refused to join us, ridiculed our hard work, stolen, cheated, lied, and now destroyed our only food for winter! What say all?! [they raise their paws]
Grayson: And stick 'em up! Ha! [raises his paw] Why is the ground moving towards my face? [faints again]
Andie: We don't convict without a trial. This isn't how we do things. [Mole sighs in resignation]
Raccoon: I have run out of options for that squirrel, Andie [puts his hand on her shoulder] Do what you will. Do what is right. [Andie slowly raises her paw]
Surly: [looks around in desperation, finds Buddy roasting an acorn, regains self-confidence] Ha! Uh, uh, Buddy has not voted! And it has to be unanimous. That's the rule. You won't vote against me, will ya, ol' Buddy? Buddy? [Buddy looks, waves his paw, Surly is in shock]
Raccoon: You were saying?

View Quote Surly: Ha-ha! I got 4 words for you.
Precious: Okay!
Surly: THING-A-MA-BOOBY!
Precious: AAH!!!
Surly: How you like that, huh?
Precious: Okay, you win! You win! Get that thing outta my face! You got me.
Surly: So you can talk?
Precious: Okay, I'll stop talking. Just don't blow that whistle.
Surly: I'm not gonna feel sorry for you.
Precious: Of course, yes, I understand.
Surly: Stay! [to Buddy and Andie] Alright, it's safe to come down!
Precious: I'm gonna level with you 'cause you seem like a reasonable guy. If I don't get rid of you, they're gonna send me back to the pound. Alright? And I can't go back to that pound!
Surly: Oh, yeah, sure, I believe you.
Precious: No, I'm a victim of circumstance!
Surly: Not my problem, dog. [to Andie] Are you guys okay? Don't worry about her.
Andie: This is incredible! [climbs a barrel] There's enough food here to feed the park for years!
Surly: [as Andie has a snack] Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!
Precious: Look, can we be friends?
Surly: Oh, great.
Precious: C'mon! I can do all sorts of stuff. You wanna see? You know what? I can fetch things, huh? I can sit. Oh! [turns around to shake her tail] Look at this thing! This is crazy! Ooh-ooh-ooh! Has a mind of its own. Oh, oh, oh! I can play dead. Watch. [plays dead] Now I'm alive! I mean, this is unbelievable. It's like one then the next. Dead, then alive. Right? [Buddy sniffs and throws a stick of dynamite]
Andie: I'm getting some of this food back to the park.
Surly: What?
Andie: We had a deal.
Precious: [about Andie] Oh, I can attack her if you want.
Surly: I said shut it! [to Andie] Look, the deal is: you take your share, I get mine, we split ways.
Andie: There's no way I can get these to the park safely. [jumps down] We need a foolproof plan.
Surly: Yeah, good luck with that. Buddy and I are diggin' a tunnel.
Andie: [chuckles] That's just... That's crazy. No, it's brilliant. [jumps onto the tractor belt] Oh, Raccoon and the animals will flip when they hear about this! We'll be back, first thing tomorrow to get started on the tunnel.
Surly: That's not part of the deal!
Precious: [about Andie, again] Should I attack her now?
Surly: What? No! S- You stay! [to Andie] I never said that I'd work with the park.
Andie: Well, your welcome to come back with me if you want. Who knows? You might just end up being a hero. I'll be back with a team. Well done, Surly! [she leaves the store]
Surly: [to Buddy, about Andie] Put a tail on her. You know what I mean. [Buddy sprints after Andie]
Precious: Hey, boss. I'm gonna lick your face. [Surly walks away, she follows after him] C'mon, don't be weird.

View Quote King: We cut the alarm wire from the tunnel. When you 2 hit the vault, we got 3 minutes to dynamite it and get that dough out.
Surly: We dig here, from the alley into the basement.
Jimmy: [points to the coal chute] Why don't we just use the door thing?
Surly: Too unpredictable. They lock it from the inside. Now listen closely.
King: We fill the vault with bags o' nuts, we seal it, we head for state lines. It'll be days before the bank realizes they got peanuts on deposit. Agreed?
Mole: Agreed, but I do not dig.
Johnny: 'Cause you're blind as a bat!
Mole: [gets agitated] WHAT?! Who said that? Where are you?
Fingers: What kind of haul we talkin', pops?
Surly: We're talkin' almonds, pistachios, walnuts, Brazils.
King: Enough cashews to buy yourselves a racetrack.
Surly: And did I mention the peanut brittle?
Johnny: Is that a candy or a nut?
Surly: [chuckles] Both. [brief silence for 2 seconds]
Mole: [bumps Jamie's shoulder] Ha ha!
King: Now listen up. This is my last heist. I ain't goin' back to that rat-filled slammer. Ya dig?
Fingers: [to Lucky] It's all we been doin'!

View Quote The Rat: [the rats seize Surly] Hold him down! Hold him down! That's it! Ha ha ha!
Raccoon: Well, what do we have here? [walks to Surly] A hero or a thief?
Surly: You think you can starve the park to stay in control? Mole told me everything.
Mole: What? What's he talking about? [chuckles] I didn't say anything! He's loopy! Yeah. Cuckoo, you know, nuts. Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Raccoon: Is this another one of your swindles? Some half-baked revenge against me? [Surly grunts] It's something else, isn't it? You're trying to impress. Grayson, perhaps? Andie? [Surly looks surprised] Oh, I see. No matter. My accomplices will take care of them soon enough.
Surly: [tries to get free] They don't follow me. They hate me. They hate me!
Raccoon: Maybe, but I can't leave any evidence, Surly. [Cardinal lands on his shoulder] Every good thief knows that.
Mole: Hey, this is getting a little crazy, don't you think? I mean...
Raccoon: [interrupting Mole] Maybe we'll finish you off next! And where's that shiny thing he's supposed to have?
[The dog whistle is in King's back pocket]
King: All right, this is it. 10, 9...
Raccoon: [picks up a bag of nuts] You'll get the rest once you dispose of Andie and Grayson. [The Rat catches the bag of nuts] I'll finish off Mr. Hero myself.
Surly: The park will get rid of you. They'll vote in new leaders.
Raccoon: How many leaders did you think this park can have?
King: 3, 2...
Raccoon: 1!
[explosion, Surly shakes his head, Cardinal lands and the chute door lands on him, Surly goes in]
Raccoon: He'll warn the others! What are you waiting for? [kicks a rat] After him!

View Quote King: [sees cart of nuts] What the? [sees Fingers and Lucky walk out of the tunnel] I told you to load those nuts into the vault!
Fingers: Yeah, so why did you take the cart outta the tunnel?
King: What kinda game are you playin' here?
Fingers: What kinda game are YOU playin'?!
Lucky: [puts his hand on Fingers] Relax! We probably just bumped the cart.
King: Or maybe it was... [pushes the cart to expose Buddy, Andie, and the Bruisers] Rats! [they scatter]
Lucky: Holy Toledo! [King sees Andie, pulls out his gun, and tries to shoot her] Watch out!
King: I'll handle these rats! [shoots again]
[Surly runs across the basement, the rats follow him into traps, the Rat follows after him]
Fingers: [sees Surly and the Rat on him] Squirrels!
Lucky: Watch out! Hang on, Fingers!
[Fingers falls on the coal chute, Surly and the Rat hurl in the air, the Rat falls in a box of traps]
King: Get going!
Lucky: What about you?
King: What are you, deaf? I said get going!
Fingers: It was going so smooth! [he and Lucky leave the basement]
[King **** his gun, Surly sees Grayson on King's back, Grayson jumps and hides]
Surly: Grayson, you moron!
Grayson: Surly, I need a disguise. Something flamboyant.
Surly: What? Get your head out of your tail! Lead the team into the tunnel and escape through our hole. I'll distract the big guy.
Grayson: I'll need some skates, a mustache, and maybe a cape.
Surly: [grabs Grayson's face] YOU DON'T NEED A CAPE! I can't help the park alone. I'm not a hero, but you are. Last summer during that heatwave, who discovered that broken sprinkler so everyone could have water?
Grayson: [muffled] I did?
Surly: That's right! They believe in heroes. So snap out of it and be one! It's hero time.
Grayson: It's hero time! Why am I shouting?
Surly: [thinks for a moment] Rats!
Grayson: RAAAAAATS!!!!! RUN! RUN FOR THEIR LIVES! CHILDREN AND GRAYSON FIRST!
Jamie: Oh, it's Grayson!
Johnny: He's come to save us!
Andie: Now's our chance. Let's go. Move it everybody! Move!
[Surly jumps on King's shoulder, King loses focus and tries to get Surly off of him, Surly just kept running up and down King's body]

View Quote [Grayson opens the van door]
Jamie: Grayson! He's here to save us! [sees Surly] Oh...
Surly: Lemme explain.
Jamie: [she and Buddy prepare to fight] Let's get him, guys!
Surly: Hey, hey, wait a second.
Andie: [runs in front of them] Forget him! The door is open. We can push the nuts out.
Raccoon: [jumps down] Ha-ha! [grabs Surly by neck]
Andie: [sees Raccoon, surprised] Raccoon!
[Grayson grabs Surly by the tail and pulls]
Raccoon: Let me go, you idiot! Help me throw him off before he kills us all!
Grayson: Kill us?! This squirrel is a hero! [Andie, Jamie, and Buddy stare in disbelief] Well, co-hero, actually.
Mole: Raccoon is...the double-crosser! You have to...believe me!
Surly: [choking] Hang on, Mole!
Mole: WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Jamie: Why did you lock us in here?!
Raccoon: You're wasting time. This is our one opportunity to rip the park of this villain. For the park! [Andie, Jamie, and Buddy refuse]
Grayson: You still haven't answered the question.
Raccoon: This is treason! Andie!
Andie: Answer the question, Raccoon. Was Surly telling the truth? ANSWER!
Grayson: I call for a vote! Agreed! All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!
[Buddy raises his paw, followed by Andie, Jamie, Grayson, Mole, then Surly]
Andie: [as Raccoon throws Surly off] RACCOON!!
[Surly grabs a bag of nuts, and lands in the middle of the street]
Raccoon: Ah. [grabs the dog whistle] Shiny.
Andie: Hey! [Raccoon laughs evilly and climbs up the door]