Raccoon
All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!
Played by Liam Neeson 
The Nut Job (2014) · 55 quotes
The Nut Job (2014) · 55 quotes
For the park!
More lines from Raccoon
6 quotes Raccoon
Raccoon
Why are you hesitating? [talks about Surly's "crimes"] He's refused to join us, ridiculed our hard work, stolen, cheated, lied, and now destroyed our only food for winter! What say all?!
Raccoon
The day Surly saves this park is the day nuts will rain from the skies. Hmm, there could be an accident.
Raccoon
He'll warn the others! What are you waiting for? [kicks a rat] After him!
Raccoon
Never, you backstabbing vermin! Surly goes down with me!
Raccoon
[last lines, turns to Cardinal]
Anymore big ideas? [Cardinal turns, stretches his wings ready to fly away] Please stay. [Cardinal puts his wings down, sharks circle the buoy]
Scenes with Raccoon
4 scenes Raccoon
The tally is in! The food collected in the trunk of our oak tree... [the other animals gasp] ...will not be enough to carry us through winter.
Redline
[as the other animals chatter in disappointment]
I knew it, we're gonna die!
Raccoon
Settle down! Settle down now, please!
Sparrow
RACCOON!
Mole
Shh! Raccoon's giving a speech.
Raccoon
[as he descends from the trunk]
Though this outlooks appears disheartening...
Sparrow
EXCUSE ME! ANDIE AND GRAYSON ARE...
Mole
Tee-tee-tee-tee!
Sparrow
YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME!
Mole
Ba-ba-ba-ba!
Raccoon
[turns to the animals]
...this park will persevere! Take heart, park brethren. [the other animals look behind Raccoon] There is hope.
Sparrow
RACCOON!!!
Mole
[grabs the Sparrow]
Quiet! [repeats thrice]
Sparrow
I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO POINT OUT THAT... [laughs nervously]
Raccoon
Grayson's never let us down before. I believe he's on his way, right at this very moment, carrying...
Mole
[drops the Sparrow]
FLAMING CART OF NUTS!!!
Raccoon
[turns around, sees a nut cart on fire flying across the park]
What? [the other animals panic] Our food! It'll be destroyed!
Mole
[picks up the Sparrow]
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?! [drops Sparrow again]
Raccoon
Abandon tree! ABANDON TREE!!!
Grayson
[the nut cart bounces off the tree, lands on the mill wheel, sends itself in the air, Andie drops off] [opens the haul, sees he's about to crash in the tree]
NOT MY PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL FACE! AAAAAAAHH!!! [the nut cart lands]
Mole
[the other animals sigh in relief, then the tree explodes, creating popcorn launching from it]
Grayson? Grayson?! Where are you?!
Raccoon
What happened here? [picks up charred nuts, crumbles them in his hands in frustration] Who is responsible for this?!
Surly
Let go of me, you clowns! You're making a big mistake here! I got an alibi! Unh, I got witnesses! [the twins throw him]
Johnny
Found him hiding in one of our holes, just like a snake.
Surly
I was recovering buried nuts. That what I was doi... [sniffs the air] You smell, like, burnt nuts or somethin'? That me? [as he turns around] What's goin' ooooo... [laughs] Look at that! Ha-ha! You guys are messed for winter, man! I mean, wow! Just look at that bonfire! You didn't see that comin', did ya?
Grayson
[lands on Surly, gets up immediately]
Never fear, this sweet body is undamaged! [faints]
Andie
Raccoon, let me organize a trial. Just give the order.
Pigeon
Another trail?! He's never learned!
Jimmy
He needs something more severe!
Jamie
He is a clear and present danger!
Surly
Yug...!
Andie
No! No, we do things by the rule of law. Let justice take care of him.
Raccoon
They want justice, Andie, and justice they will receive. [Cardinal lands on his shoulder, he turns to the other animals] All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!
Surly
[gets up]
Banishment?
Andie
Banishment?
Grayson
Bandages? Yes, please.
Raccoon
[the other animals hesitate]
Why are you hesitating? He's refused to join us, ridiculed our hard work, stolen, cheated, lied, and now destroyed our only food for winter! What say all?! [they raise their paws]
Grayson
And stick 'em up! Ha! [raises his paw] Why is the ground moving towards my face? [faints again]
Andie
We don't convict without a trial. This isn't how we do things. [Mole sighs in resignation]
Raccoon
I have run out of options for that squirrel, Andie [puts his hand on her shoulder] Do what you will. Do what is right. [Andie slowly raises her paw]
Surly
[looks around in desperation, finds Buddy roasting an acorn, regains self-confidence]
Ha! Uh, uh, Buddy has not voted! And it has to be unanimous. That's the rule. You won't vote against me, will ya, ol' Buddy? Buddy? [Buddy looks, waves his paw, Surly is in shock]
Raccoon
You were saying?
Raccoon
[sees Andie handing out nuts]
I didn't authorize and handouts, did I?
Mole
You know Andie. [digs through bounty] It was her idea.
Raccoon
Are you looking for these? [hands Mole a pair of sunglasses, he grabs them] I know Andie. She lacks obedience. Can't follow orders.
Mole
But she follows Surly. [Raccoon raises his ear] Y'know, he even tamed that guard dog. He could actually pull this off.
Raccoon
[snaps his fingers, Cardinal snatches the sunglasses from Mole]
The day Surly saves this park is the day nuts will rain from the skies! Hmm, there could be an accident. [Cardinal spits out the sunglasses, then pushes the hatch lid, Mole screams in pain] Have you considered sabotage?
Mole
What? Hey, what's gotten into you? It's only Surly. A 2-bit trashcan thief.
Raccoon
It's not about thievery; it's about that food getting to those animals. [sighs briefly] Have you forgotten my motto? [Cardinal steps forth] "Animals are controlled by the amount of food they have."
Both
"It is our duty to keep it from them."
Raccoon
Good! Now, where were we? Ah yes, sabotage.
Mole
Yeah, sabotage. Uh, what is that, French?
The Rat
[the rats seize Surly]
Hold him down! Hold him down! That's it! Ha ha ha!
Raccoon
Well, what do we have here? [walks to Surly] A hero or a thief?
Surly
You think you can starve the park to stay in control? Mole told me everything.
Mole
What? What's he talking about? [chuckles] I didn't say anything! He's loopy! Yeah. Cuckoo, you know, nuts. Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Raccoon
Is this another one of your swindles? Some half-baked revenge against me? [Surly grunts] It's something else, isn't it? You're trying to impress. Grayson, perhaps? Andie? [Surly looks surprised] Oh, I see. No matter. My accomplices will take care of them soon enough.
Surly
[tries to get free]
They don't follow me. They hate me. They hate me!
Raccoon
Maybe, but I can't leave any evidence, Surly. [Cardinal lands on his shoulder] Every good thief knows that.
Mole
Hey, this is getting a little crazy, don't you think? I mean...
Raccoon
[interrupting Mole]
Maybe we'll finish you off next! And where's that shiny thing he's supposed to have?
King
[The dog whistle is in King's back pocket]
All right, this is it. 10, 9...
Raccoon
[picks up a bag of nuts]
You'll get the rest once you dispose of Andie and Grayson. [The Rat catches the bag of nuts] I'll finish off Mr. Hero myself.
Surly
The park will get rid of you. They'll vote in new leaders.
Raccoon
How many leaders did you think this park can have?
King
3, 2...
Raccoon
1!
Raccoon
[explosion, Surly shakes his head, Cardinal lands and the chute door lands on him, Surly goes in]
He'll warn the others! What are you waiting for? [kicks a rat] After him!
Jamie
[Grayson opens the van door]
Grayson! He's here to save us! [sees Surly] Oh...
Surly
Lemme explain.
Jamie
[she and Buddy prepare to fight]
Let's get him, guys!
Surly
Hey, hey, wait a second.
Andie
[runs in front of them]
Forget him! The door is open. We can push the nuts out.
Raccoon
[jumps down]
Ha-ha! [grabs Surly by neck]
Andie
[sees Raccoon, surprised]
Raccoon!
Raccoon
[Grayson grabs Surly by the tail and pulls]
Let me go, you idiot! Help me throw him off before he kills us all!
Grayson
Kill us?! This squirrel is a hero! [Andie, Jamie, and Buddy stare in disbelief] Well, co-hero, actually.
Mole
Raccoon is...the double-crosser! You have to...believe me!
Surly
[choking]
Hang on, Mole!
Mole
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Jamie
Why did you lock us in here?!
Raccoon
You're wasting time. This is our one opportunity to rip the park of this villain. For the park! [Andie, Jamie, and Buddy refuse]
Grayson
You still haven't answered the question.
Raccoon
This is treason! Andie!
Andie
Answer the question, Raccoon. Was Surly telling the truth? ANSWER!
Grayson
I call for a vote! Agreed! All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!
Andie
[Buddy raises his paw, followed by Andie, Jamie, Grayson, Mole, then Surly] [as Raccoon throws Surly off]
RACCOON!!
Raccoon
[Surly grabs a bag of nuts, and lands in the middle of the street]
Ah. [grabs the dog whistle] Shiny.
Andie
Hey! [Raccoon laughs evilly and climbs up the door]
