Do you understand now? It's ironic; in making myself immortal, I made myself into a god.
Give me a break, will ya? What's all that supposed to mean? That you created me as well? In your dreams.
Not one of my proudest accomplishments, I have to admit. I also created a perfect clone of you. And we know what happened to him. Or perhaps you are he? It's possible the real Lupin died on that gibbet in Transylvania.
Oh, I'm the real one, all right. The genuine article. Don't you worry!
We'll never be absolutely sure, will we?
[He disappears, laughing]
History was created by my constant interference. Do you understand? Cloning was the passage to god status.
[sarcastically]
Pretty impressive. So do you mean to say that I was born thanks to you?
[condescendingly]
You are just an accidental child born from uncertainty. Now what happened to the copy I created of you for fun, so as to make your job easier? It might be the original you who was executed...
You bastard! I am me, the original Lupin the Third!
Think real hard...
[He disappears, laughing]
Yeah, whoever's in charge of this loony bin. What is this, Costume Day for the inmates?
[laughs]
Such wit. This is neither an insane asylum nor a masquerade ball. Those particular individuals you have met are not imitations, Lupin, but the real thing. [turns to Lupin, revealing himself. Lupin gapes, horrified] Oh, yes. I know who you are. And in case you haven't guessed who I am, I am Mamo.
Yeah, you're Fujiko's boss.
I hired her to bring me the Philosopher's Stone, and now at last it's mine, no thanks to you. Still, I wanted to meet you; you are the greatest thief on the face of the Earth.
Gee, tell me something I don't know. Look, I'm not working for you, if that's what you have in mind.
Actually, I've been thinking about your compensation for the Stone, and I've decided to give you the greatest gift of all: eternal life.
How thrilling. But, if you don't mind, I'd rather you just gave me back the Stone, you little wacko.
The prophet is always regarded as a madman by those too backwards to see the truth.
Well, then you must be getting used to it by now. Come on, hand it over! [charges at Mamo and almost falls off the platform]
Men like you never trust what they cannot see.
Oh, yeah? [steps on the invisible glass and continues charging at Mamo] OK, pal, enough with the sight gags! [falls screaming through an invisible hole, makes a hard landing on his rear end, and gets up as Mamo cackles at him] YOU'RE A LUNATIC! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF: I'M THE GREATEST THIEF ON EARTH! I'LL GET THAT STONE! COUNT ON IT!
So... it seems even clones have their limitations.
The passing of chromosome information, I must acknowledge, has not been 100% complete. With each copy, the clarity fades slightly, almost imperceptibly. The endless clone chain reaction disturbs the cells. Over 130 generations, I produced copies and still more copies, and each time the result was lacking in some strand I'd achieved in the previous one... till I am what you see before you.
You mean you've become a pretty poor specimen by now.
The price is high... to buy eternal life. [dies]
The whole of history is nothing more than the sum of my whim! They built a bridge to God, then they became God!
You're quite a fella! I suppose that makes you responsible for me being here?
[chuckles]
Why, I've had more important things keeping me occupied, I assure you. You're just an animal form without a special reason. Oh, I did make a clone of you, though I rather lost track of it. It is possible it was hanged - or was that, in fact, the original?
No, it wasn't! The original's right here! This is the real, live, original Wolf!
You could be right, but can you be sure?
[He disappears, laughing]
What you call history is nothing more than my restless self-diversion. Cloning was my entrée to godhood.
Are you saying I owe my very existence to you?
[chuckling]
Lupin, you're nothing but a random byproduct of my whim. And yet, being an idiot has its advantages. A smarter man than you might be tempted to wonder what really happened last spring. Was it the copy that was executed... or the original?
Why, you son of a bitch! I know who the hell I am!
You see, it's a philosophical riddle.
[He disappears, cackling]
Yes. Even a clone has its limitations.
The transfer of chromosomal data is never 100% complete. There are always imperfections, unnoticeable at first, but as the cloning is repeated age after age, these distortions become more pronounced. Despite all my efforts, once my original form began to decay, I had to make second generation clones, and then third, and then fourth. What you see is a copy of a copy of a copy.
So you've degenerated into an inferior Mamo.
Eternity... is a long time. [dies]
Yes. Even cloning has its limitations.
The chromosomal data transfer is never 100 percent perfect, just as repeated copying makes the image blurry. Too much repetition of the cloning is distorting the cells. When I reached the 130th generation, I preserved myself as the original by putting myself in the Ringer's Solution. Since then, I've been a copy of a copy.
Then that makes you a defective product of Mamo.
Everything is for immortality. [dies]
Yes. The process has its limitations.
The transfer of the chromosomal data is never accomplished with complete fidelity. There are… anomalies, infinitesimally small in each case, but the cumulative effect of such - chaotic - pollution... can be observed after only a dozen or so generations, and what you see before you is a 130th generation facsimile. I am but a faint, distorted echo of myself.
But you were always distorted by your obsession.
But is it not... everyone’s obsession? [dies]
[referring to Mamaux's promise of eternal life]
Oh, terrible! Everything he said was a lie.
Not all of it. It's true that he's trying to find a way to avoid death.
Don't be stupid. You know that's impossible.
It's a scientific method used to make an exact copy of a human being. They only need a single hair; anyway, all they need is one cell to fiddle around with; to make a perfect look-alike. If you go on repeating that process, one man could go on living, forever and ever!
If what you say is true, then the one who was executed...
All you need is a single hair... to make a perfect look-alike...
Who knows? Let's just hurry.
If we hurry, we won't make it. That's for sure. [Turns on visor, showing laser lines in the way.] Max width: 80 centimeters.
OK. [Gives Wolf a 80 centimeter bar.] Hey, Wolf.
Tell me about the hanging.
What's to tell about? The hanged man in Transylvania...was probably the real me. Probably.
Eh, that sounds kinda weird.
Yes, it does, doesn't it? Now I'm starting to get the distinct impression this me ain't real at all. And that's some identity crisis!
No, wait! I've got something I want to say.
Nothing like an elevator shaft to turn me on!
[enjoying it]
No, Wolf, please stop!
If you don't stop it, I may scream! [does that]
[The two lovers don't realize they've ended up in Mamo's throne room. Mamo stares at them, outraged]
Oh dear, I don't think anyone heard! What shall I do?
Oh, let me have a little nibble just there!
Oh, your neck's oh so kissable!
[knees Wolf in the crotch]
Oh, my... [unintelligible]
[finally at the end of his rope]
Ew, this is puke-inducing!
