View Quote
I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car! Ever!
View Quote
I pound on kids. That's what I do. That's what I do! This can't happen to me. You know what they're calling me out there? The McGoogler!
View Quote
I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy!
View Quote
I've got my eye on you, Max Keeble. You're on my list.
View Quote
Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio.
View Quote
Keeble, I worked really hard on that display.
View Quote
Man, I thought I told you, their lunch money is mine, vendor.
View Quote
Man, why don't you go get a real job, fool?
View Quote
Max...where's your Bassoon?
View Quote
This Thursday, Superintendent Knebworth will be here to inspect the school. And so I am upgrading my policy of zero tolerance to one of...sub-zero tolerance, which is more than zero.
View Quote
Told you it was gonna happen sooner or later, didn't I? Yes, I did! Yes, I did!
View Quote
Who? Who started this? If the culprit does not step forward this instant, swift and horrible retribution awaits each and every one of you!
View Quote
You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarky. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it. It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up. And so, young man, remember, study rhymes with buddy. Scram.
View Quote
[As a child, at Max's 4th birthday party] MacGoogles ate Max's daddy!
View Quote
[Looks at his fingers] I can't feel my fingers.